Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Sometimes we forget that what is happening around us and within us is our real life.

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Sometimes we forget that what is happening around us and within us is our real life.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Jon Tyson

My wife and I love to go to the movies. She frequently lets me know what is playing and gives me an overview to help us choose what to see. In our efforts to not waste our time, I often seek the guidance of review services such as Rotten Tomatoes to provide the perspectives of both the critics and the audience. We tend to trust the audience more given the fact that critics can be—you know—critical.

What if your life was a movie? What rating would you give it up to this point? How engaging are the people and events? In the case of our own lives, we are both critic and the audience. We are also the screenwriter, director, producer, and lead actor that can improve our rating as we go.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you break out the popcorn, candy, and beverage of your choice to more fully enjoy the reality of what’s showing in your life?

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition

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“A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition.”

—William Arthur Ward, 20th Century American motivational writer

Image from Unsplash by bruce mars

A few days after the Labor Day holiday our outdoor community pool closed for the season. Although I like to think of Autumn as the season where every leaf is a flower, many of our local residents begin hibernating or flying south.

I like the idea of wherever you go, there you are, in which case we can actually take our attitudinal weather wherever we go.

Who are the happy, peppy people in your life?

Who are the individuals who are constantly walking around under a dark cloud of their own making?

What type of person are you?

EXERCISE:

What attitude adjustments can and will you bring into the fall and winter seasons?

How can a sunnier disposition brighten the months ahead for everyone in your various communities?

Mortality makes it impossible to ignore the absurdity of living solely for the future

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“Mortality makes it impossible to ignore the absurdity of living solely for the future.”

—Oliver Burkeman, British journalist and writer

image from Amazon

What are your favorite things to do?

Where are your most enjoyable places to travel?

Examine the highlight reel of your life so far to pick out your most wonderful experiences.

How much time is left on your biological clock?

If 4000 weeks—which amounts to about 80 years—is all that we get, how much time remains?

How many of us have a someday list or bucket list for things we hope to do or experience in the future? The challenge we often ignore is just how finite the sands of time truly are.

What happens when we wake up one morning and it hits us that we can’t have or do it all?

EXERCISE:

Hope is not an optimal strategy for living, and someday is not a day of the week.

How then can you live more fully in each moment and avoid the absurdity of living for the future?

Please check out Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks—Time Management for Mortals for some wonderful coaching on this subject.

Take time to see the quiet miracles that seek no attention

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“Take time to see the quiet miracles that seek no attention.”

—John O’Donohue, Irish poet, author, and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by David Armitage

Let’s go on an imaginary scavenger hunt.

We are hunting for miracles. What do you see in your immediate surrounding? Look up. Look down. Look right and left. Zoom in. Zoom out. What miracles did you notice to put on your list?

As John O’Donohue seems to know, most miracles are basically silent. They don’t scream look at me, I’m a miracle for you to cherish that you missed in all of your busyness.

In most cases, if the decibel levels of life are up, the likelihood of experiencing a miracle are low.

EXERCISE:

How can you more fully experience and appreciate the miracles in your world that seek no attention?

How could more of these quiet observations add to the richness of your life?

We can practice yoga by simply sitting in stillness

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We can practice yoga by simply sitting in stillness. This is your inner posture.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Tadeusz Lakota

In my early forties, I attended yoga classes at my local fitness center every Friday and Sunday morning.

I had heard the praises of this practice and yet I always felt I was missing the full value it claimed to offer. I found a good number of poses very challenging and I was clearly not a Gumby when asked to bend and fold by the instructor.

I even had difficulty on most occasions focusing on my breath without my mind racing off in a multitude of directions which often included an unhealthy dose of inner critic.

In more recent years, through my meditation efforts and other forms of eastern movement, I have discovered my inner yoga posture simply by sitting in stillness.

EXERCISE:

How could bringing more stillness into your life offer you many of yoga’s benefits without getting bent out of shape?

When you live on a round planet, there is no choosing sides

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“When you live on a round planet, there is no choosing sides.”

—Dr. Wayne Dyer, late American self-help author and motivational speaker

Image from Unsplash by gebhartyler

The health of our planet and therefore ourselves depends on many factors.

Astronauts speaking from their experience in space say there are no lines separating us like on our maps. Our air, water, and even the network of fungi below the surface of our world connects us in ways we don’t always recognize.

Within the past century or so, man’s use and often abuse of this planet’s resources have created an increasingly urgent cascade of climate and environmental issues that are affecting us all.

EXERCISE:

Where do you find yourself taking sides in your various communities?

What can you do to help them come together to make things better for everyone?

Consider listening to the 2010 song “We are the World” as a good reminder that we are all in this together.

Please read The Carbon Almanac and help carry its information and message of hope to others.

If you enjoy fiction you may also want to check out The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson.

Don’t Let the worst people get the best of you

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“Don’t Let the worst people get the best of you.”

—Doe Zantamata, Writer, photographer and graphic designer

Image from Unsplash by Adrian Swancar

Today’s quote seems straightforward, but how do we actually do it?

How can we untangle and release ourselves from the people who push our buttons and enrage us by what they do and say?

As is the case with various toxic substances in our environment, avoidance and keeping our distance is a solid strategy.

But what if these folks simply can’t always be avoided as in the case of family members, neighbors, and work colleagues who seem to have the keys to our locked doors?

What strategies work best when you find yourself triggered and upset?

EXERCISE:

Please check out any of the three books below for many useful approached to deal with the more challenging people in your world. These books are even more useful to help good relationships be great ones:

Fierce Conversations, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations.

You can also send an email to barry@dempcoaching.com and I will be happy to send you a copy of my Masterful Relationship workbook in a PDF file.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot

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“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

—Dr. Seuss, in The Lorax

Image from Unsplash by Picsea

Among the skills introduced to our children during their early years, reading, writing, and ‘rithmatic as we called it, took top billing. The nightly bedtime story is still an integral part of many family rituals, including my grandchildren.

There probably isn’t a family that doesn’t have at least a few choice Dr. Seuss books that haven’t seen some considerable wear over the years.

Beyond the funny characters and rhyming words, there was almost always a life lesson in those pages to inspire and guide our little ones to be good people and do their part to help and serve others.

EXERCISE:

Please download and read The Carbon Almanac for Kids to help our future generations become knowledgeable and contributory stewards of our beautiful world. It’s free!