Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

When spinning out the only thing to do

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“When spinning out, the only thing to do, as hard as it seems, is to get off the mental merry-go-round.”

—Mark Nepo, poet and philosopher

Image from wikipedia

The Tilt- A-Whirl is a classic carnival ride found at almost every amusement midway in America. As its platform moves through hills and valleys on the track, the free spinning tubs rotate on an axis.

For people who get dizzy easily, the best coaching is to avoid this cochlear disruption altogether or at least avoid eating beforehand.

Many of us take a mental merry-go-round on a daily basis. We have our ups and downs and we often find ourselves going round and round, always returning to where we began.

Last fall we took our grandson Weston to Sesame Place on a fairly unpleasant day. Most rides — including the merry-go-round — had no lines and we could ride multiple times in a row if we wished. We all declined another spin.

EXERCISE:

Where is your personal or professional life spinning a bit too fast?

How are you making yourself dizzier through your own mental carnival ride?

What do you need to do to stop or slow down the ride to regain your balance?

Courage gives us a voice and compassion gives us an ear

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“Courage gives us a voice and compassion gives us an ear. Without both there is no opportunity for empathy and connection.”

—Brené Brown, American research professor, lecturer, and author

The subtitle of my book, The Quotable Coach, is Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom. For these times, Brené Brown’s quote really resonates.

Where are you and others demonstrating the courage to voice your values and beliefs?

How compassionately are you opening your heart and ears to the challenges and difficulties of others in your various communities?

EXERCISE:

Where do you see the need for empathy and compassion?

How can and will you demonstrate more courage and compassion to generously serve and support our world with all its needs?

When is being lazy just what the doctor ordered

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When is being lazy just what the doctor ordered?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Aleksandar Cvetanovic

Being lazy is an approach to living that most people avoid or judge negatively. Taking the easy way out, goofing off, and not pulling your weight in your personal and professional activities will annoy and upset others.

Consider the animal kingdom for an alternative perspective.

Domestic dogs and cats can often be found lounging and relaxing. Select a few of your favorite wild animals to determine their levels of activity and leisure especially when food, water, and shelter are not an issue.

How often do you wish you could trade places with them to have a slower, lower stressed life?

EXERCISE:

Where and when can you prescribe and take a healthy dose of laziness?

Look to your pets as doctors for some coaching when you forget.

Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt

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“Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.”

—John Muir, 18th Century Scottish-American naturalist, author, environmental philosopher

Wendy, Ella, Barry, and Weston

For most of my life, my family has spent at least one week in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania. It’s a place I experienced as an infant and camper — each summer until I was eleven — when the camp was purchased by a development company.

This year our daughter Rachel and her two children — Weston and Ella — came along.

Our week included plenty of swimming, walks, playground adventures and even a snake and animal farm.

Sharing the star-filled skies, hearing crickets chirping, and the sounds and smells of fresh air after a rainstorm are some of my happiest moments.

EXERCISE:

Where and when have you traveled dirt paths in your life?

Where and how can you bring even more of the natural world into your life?

I am still learning

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“I am still learning.”

—Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni, 14th Century Italian sculptor, painter, architect and poet

Image from Unsplash By Grant Whitty

Michelangelo was born in 1475 and died in 1564. His longevity would be remarkable even today, with the average life expectancy of a man being somewhere between 78 and 83.

Perhaps it was his Mediterranean diet or disciplined exercise efforts that added those extra years. My guess would definitely include his industrious spirit and his desire for continuous learning.

His Sistine Chapel ceiling was completed between 1508 and 1512, and the Rondanini Pieta sculpture was produced in the year of his passing.

EXERCISE:

How strong is your desire to learn and grow? Where might exercising your learning muscles add more years to your life and life in your years?  How does and can the pursuit of learning make your life a more beautiful work of art?

One small crack does not mean you are broken

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“One small crack does not mean you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.”

—Linda Poindexter, @PoindexterLinda on Twitter

Image from Unsplash by Johnny Cohen

In professional sports virtually all athletes play hurt on some or many occasions. Aches, pains, strains, and sprains are the price of their efforts to excel. We loyal fans cheer them on as they continue to test themselves and pursue victory.

Over the past two months I’ve been going to physical therapy to strengthen my right knee, which has been causing me some pain and instability.

During my regular visits I’ve met dozens of other patients who also have experienced a variety of physical setbacks.

It’s been nice to see all of them progressing with the targeted therapies and supportive staff assisting their efforts.

EXERCISE:

Where are you noticing a few cracks in your personal armor?

Where and how is life testing you?

How can you acknowledge the champion spirit within that has you continue to suit up and get back in the game?

Notice the presence of absence

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Notice the presence of absence.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Tim Chow

In the practice of meditation, we train ourselves to notice our thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

The intention is that these efforts will carry forward, so we can pursue our daily activities with greater awareness and ease.

Being more present to our inner and outer worlds offers us a deeper and fuller experience of living.

For most of us, our constant inner dialogues and emotional ups and downs keep us  occupied, both on and off the cushion.

What if we could easily and regularly have these thoughts and sensations dissolve and dissipate as if they were water evaporating from the sidewalk on a warm sunny day?

What levels of freedom, peace, and tranquility might be left without all the chatter?

What else could be present in the absence?

EXERCISE:

Create a space in your home where you remove as many distractions as possible. Do your best to eliminate all sensory inputs and sit for at least ten minutes with only your breath and heartbeat for company.

Friday Review: Direction

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Friday Review: DIRECTION

How do you set and manage the direction of your personal or professional life? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement.”

 

 

 

“Some people cross your path and change your whole direction.”

 

 

“Direction is so much more important than speed. Many are going nowhere fast.”

 

 

 

I love a broad margin in my life

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“I love a broad margin in my life.”

—Henry David Thoreau, in Walden

Image from Unsplash by Raivis Razgals

What kind of driver are you?

To what degree do you see the speed limit as only a guideline for your consideration? What is your opinion of tailgating and passing on the right?

I am usually a very cautious driver, using the Waze app for directions, to confirm the speed limit, point out delays, accidents, police, and of course, watch for other folks in too much of a hurry.

I prefer to think of my driving efforts as similar to an autonomous vehicle constantly checking my surroundings to maintain the greatest possible safety margin to protect myself and others.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life do you have or need a greater margin?

What will be the benefit to you and others when you give this broader margin a road test?