Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“I learn by going where I have to go.”

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“I learn by going where I have to go.”

—Theodore Roethke, 20th Century American Poet

Image from Unsplash by Ben White

As a child, my wife Wendy took many road trips with her family. Back then, maps and triptiks by the Automobile Club were the main ways of getting from one point to the next. For the adventurous, a few side trips could be built in.

Wendy’s family was different. They’d climb into their green country squire station wagon with rear facing seats for the kids. Each person was given a chance to tell Dad which way to turn between driving segments. Keeping their eyes open for new sites to explore or new places to grab a bite helped them learn about their world by going.

To what degree have you come to realize the value of experiential learning? How has learning by going carved the grooves in your record of life?

EXERCISE:

Where and how have you learned where you have to go by going? Feel free to reply to this post with your own examples or stories of getting out there.

“How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?”

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“How are you tending to the emerging story of your life?”

—Attributed to Carol Hegedus

Image from Unsplash by Aaron Burden

Today’s quote is a challenging question for most people. Upon close introspection, many of us realize that we are not doing the best of jobs tending to our life. We can be like a shepherd who falls asleep and notices upon waking that a good number of his flock have wandered off — or God forbid — were taken by a wolf.

Where have you been sleeping on the job or dilly-dallying through your days just letting the world pass you by, or following paths mapped out by others?

If you were to tell a stranger your life story up until today how likely would they stay riveted and engaged?

EXERCISE:

How can you do a far better job tending to the story of your life as you pen your upcoming chapters?

Consider reading the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller for ideas and inspiration?  Another book worth exploring is Someday Is Not a Day in the Week by Sam Horn.

“The glassblower knows: While in the heat of beginnings any shape is possible

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“The glassblower knows: While in the heat of beginnings any shape is possible. Once hardened, the only way to change is to break.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Clémente Philippe

Consider yourself a glassblower, shaped in the heat of your early years by many environmental factors. To what degree do you keep the fires burning to continue shaping yourself and your life into a work of art?

Where have you stopped in your development and perhaps become hardened and resistant to change? Where have the changes in your world over the past two years caused some cracks or broken you?

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional life can you fire up the kiln of a new beginning to continue shaping a more beautiful life?

If you, too, are fascinating by glassblowing, consider visiting Chihuly Garden and Glass near the Space Needle at Seattle center. A visit here was ranked 1st of the 499 things to do in Seattle on TripAdvisor. An online visit may be a good place to start.

Every little bit helps

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Every little bit helps.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Lina Trochez

What small deed will you perform today to improve someone’s life?

Performing small acts of kindness and generosity is our birthright. Small gestures — even if they go unnoticed — move mountains as they contribute to the people and communities we care about.

Going small and going big are both ways of going.

Everything counts.

EXERCISE:

What small deed can and will you perform today to improve someone’s life?
What would making this a daily habit bring to you and your world?

Friday Review: Resolutions

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Friday Review: Resolutions

What resolutions are you considering for the new year? How resolute are you in keeping them? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.”

 

 

 

“Most good resolutions start too late and end too soon.”

 

 

 

“How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them!”

 

 

 

 

 

We could never have guessed were already blessed There we were

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“We could never have guessed / were already blessed / There we were…”

—James Taylor, in “Up Er Mei”

Image from Unsplash by Donald Giannatti

The days leading to and during the holidays are times of deeper reflection for many. The slowing of our work schedules and the numerous celebrations involving family and friends help us pause to count our many blessings. This past week my son and his wife visited us, driving from Madison, Wisconsin to Warminster, Pennsylvania to reconnect and enjoy some quality time together.

Delicious meals, extended family gatherings, and playing with our daughter’s children Weston and Ella were some highlights. Perhaps the greatest blessing was simply noting how thankful we were to be in each other’s company.

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you already count your many blessings? How can and will you approach this holiday season and the year ahead with a more mindful and heartfelt appreciation for all that you have?

I say yes when I mean no and the wrinkle grows.

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“I say yes when I mean no and the wrinkle grows.”

—Naomi Shihab Nye, American poet, songwriter, and novelist

Image from Unsplash by philippe collard

Depending on when you are reading today’s quote, try these mental exercises:

If you read it early in your day, examine the activities in your schedule related to both your professional and personal commitments. How many have you agreed to out of obligation or to not hurt others feeling? What is the cost to your vitality and well-being for betraying or going against your natural desires and instincts?

If you read it later in the day, take a moment to reflect on the many times you said “yes” when your inner voice was whispering or screaming “NO!”? How fatigued or wrinkled do you feel and look at the end of the day having handed over many hours to others to get along and keep the peace?

EXERCISE:

Examine your days carefully through the lenses of the words MORE, LESS, START, and STOP.  Do your best today to save your yeses for the MORES and STARTS and voice your no’s toward the LESS’s and STOPs on your list.  Hopefully you develop only good wrinkles from the smiles that will result.

One key to knowing joy is to be easily pleased.

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“One key to knowing joy is to be easily pleased.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by NordWood Themes

We live in a world of constant comparison. It is driving many of us crazy.

Foolishly we believe that constantly pursuing excellence in all things is a sign of worldliness and higher status. Consider this list:

  • The vehicle you drive
  • The food you eat
  • Where you went to school
  • Your career or job
  • Your home
  • Your family and friends
  • Where you go on holiday or vacation
  • The water you drink

When we see ourselves as special, deserving only the best, we can become isolated. When no one or no-thing can meet our high standards on every occasion we are guaranteed to be let down.

What if instead, we seek to discover the specialness in all things that come our way as a path toward greater joy and happiness?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Factfulness by Hans Rosling. I am sure you will be even more easily pleased with your life.

Where do you ignore your limits

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Where do you ignore your limits?  How might you honor them today?

—Calm app Reflection

Image from Unsplash by André Bandarra

Where in your personal or professional life have your competitive spirit and ability to push yourself served you or set you back?

There are two sides to this coin, and sometime realizing our limitations can be liberating and transformative.

By embracing our limits, we can often more fully experience each moment with greater awareness and clarity before we take our next step.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently bumping up against a limitation where you feel stuck or stopped?

Where might honoring this closed door reveal a different opening or possibility you never considered?

Friday Review: Planning

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FRIDAY REVIEW: PLANNING

Are you a planner? How often do you plan out your day or week? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”

 

 

 

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.”

 

 

 

“No plan is worth the paper it is printed on unless it starts you doing something.”