Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“It is difficult to bring people to goodness with lessons, but it is easy to do so by example.”

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“It is difficult to bring people to goodness with lessons, but it is easy to do so by example.”

—Seneca, ancient Greek philosopher

Image from National Geographic

I recently watched the National Geographic documentary, Fauci, to learn more about him and his work. Covid-19 has placed him in both the limelight and the headlights and I wanted to know more.

Now eighty years old, this man has dedicated his life — usually six days a week and often putting in 12–14 hour days — to the health of people not only in the United States but throughout the world. His steadfast work ethic, scientific discipline, and objectivity were also instrumental in combating both AIDS and Ebola.

Dr. Fauci’s example of hard work and treating people with fairness and respect are good lessons for us all. He humbly admits to his shortcomings over the years, often placing his family and others behind his work —  another example of always trying to do better.

EXERCISE:

Who are those you respect that bring people to goodness through their example? How can and do you strive to set a good example for others in your personal and professional communities?

What part of your reality can you meet with more acceptance

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What part of your reality can you meet with more acceptance?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from NBC

During the cold months Wendy and I often spend some of our quality time watching TV.  Although we sometimes differ in what constitutes quality viewing, we both agree that NBC’s “This Is Us” is toward the top of our list.

In a recent episode, the mother is diagnosed with plaque in her brain, with early signs of memory loss and dementia. Realizing this decline and other aspects of the aging process she does a beautiful job taking the viewer through many challenging feelings and emotions. Her authenticity, vulnerability, and courage to meet her reality with greater acceptance is done with grace and warmth.

EXERCISE:

Where would greater acceptance of your reality support you in living a more fulfilling and satisfying life?  Consider trying an equanimity meditation to explore being more accepting of your reality as a daily practice.

 

The best mirror is a friend’s eye

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“The best mirror is a friend’s eye.”

—Gaelic proverb

Rachel & Lesley (l) — Lesley & Ella (r)

My daughter Rachel’s best friend recently came for a surprise visit to see her, and to meet her new goddaughter, Ella.

Lesley and Rachel call each other Big Sis and Little Sis, and have been very close since grade school.

An elaborate plan for this visit was first orchestrated in November. With many of us playing our part, we accomplished the jaw dropping, tear-filled reunion.

Watching these two best friends reconnect over the next few days was a great gift for us as well.

EXERCISE:

Where and when have you experienced the value and joy of having a best friend? In what fun ways can you surprise them and show how very much they have meant to you over the years?

If your mind were a suitcase and could only hold five things what would they be

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“If your mind were a suitcase and could only hold five things, what would they be?”

—Mark Nepo, author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Amy Shamblen

About 10 years ago we bought a set of luggage from a local warehouse store. It was a good value, the right color and the set of three pieces conveniently fit inside one another for easy storage. This was actually a second set and we justified it because we packed heavy for some longer trips to address all contingencies, and our desire to not use unfamiliar laundry facilities.

Prior to our recent move from Michigan to Pennsylvania we amusingly donated more than two thirds of our luggage and about a third of our possessions, realizing that traveling lighter had many advantages.

Keeping our most essential items was a step in the right direction to reduce both our physical and mental loads.

EXERCISE:

What size mental suitcase are you carrying around? What are the five most important things packed inside? A small backpack may actually be all you need.

To truly listen is to risk being changed forever

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“To truly listen is to risk being changed forever.”

—Sa’K’es Henderson, Native American elder

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

Theologian Paul Tillich said, “The first duty of love is to listen.” With this in mind, how much love have you shown others with your open ears and heart?

Perhaps you’ve noticed what might be called self-love, in that many listen more closely to their own inner voices than they do to others.

Most people would agree that being an excellent listener is critical to quality relationships and a happy life.

Unfortunately, we often talk a good game and even attend workshops and seminars on this topic only to demonstrate our desire to be more interesting rather than interested.

EXERCISE:

How open are you to being changed forever?  What rewards will be available when you bring a new level of love to your listening?

Notice the commotion and keep your cool

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Notice the commotion and keep your cool.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Andriyko Podilnyk

When was the last time you used a physical dictionary to look up a word? Perhaps you also took advantage of a thesaurus to explore synonyms and antonyms, to add variety to your writing or show off a bit.

If only thesaurus.com or other such tools were available back in the day, a few simple keystrokes might have improved my grades in language arts and English!

Here are some words I found for commotion and some alternatives for keeping our cool:

SYNONYMS Brouhaha Pandemonium Hubbub Bedlam Upheaval Insurrection
ANTONYMS Calm Harmony Peace Quietude Tranquility Stillness

EXERCISE:

How do you react and respond when you notice commotion in your world? How can you do a better job of keeping your cool while others are losing theirs?

Friday Review: Aspirations

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Friday Review: Aspirations

What are your aspirations for your personal or professional life? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Go as long as you can, and then take another step.”

 

 

 

 

“In the realm of ideas everything depends on enthusiasm. In the real world all rests on perseverance.”

 

 

 

 

“It is not for man to rest in absolute contentment. He is born to hopes and aspirations.”

 

 

 

 

 

Older now, you find holiness in anything that continues

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“Older now, you find holiness in anything that continues.”

—Naomi Shihab Nye, American Poet

Image from Alaska native news

Gary Muehlberger, who recently passed, was a featured character in the National Geographic show Port Protection.  Well into his 70s, this white-haired, no-nonsense man looked a bit like a skinny Santa.  He lived in an Alaskan community of people who live life on their own terms, hunting, fishing, and gathering many of the resources they need from the land and sea.

Gary was a jack of many trades. He owned a fishing boat build in 1919 which he used for catching salmon. This bucket-of-bolts required frequent attention and repairs by himself and other handy folks in his community, but kept chugging along and fed him for many years, body and soul.

EXERCISE:

What have you noticed about the aging process in yourself and others these past few years?

How have you come to more fully acknowledge and appreciate the resilience and enduring qualities within yourself and your communities?

Help the world by leaving a trail of who you are

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“Help the world by leaving a trail of who you are.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Universal Eye

A few weeks ago, I was taking my daily walk and my cellphone rang. My natural reaction is always to look at the screen to see if it is a family member or someone I know. The call was from a location in Wisconsin where my son lives and yet the number was unfamiliar. My gut somehow had me take the call.

The woman on the line began her comments “You probably don’t remember me but about 20 years ago you spoke to me about coaching. Our conversation made such an impression, I chose to pursue this as my career as well.”

Although we never engaged in a formal relationship, somehow this initial genuine conversation had altered her entire career trajectory.

For many coaches, coaching is not just we do, it’s who we are. Our daily efforts do not always leave an obvious trail and yet we are all called to keep walking this path to bring out the best in others.

EXERCISE:

How are you walking your own authentic path intending to help and serve others?

What are some of the visible and hidden trails you have pioneered through your efforts?