Tag Archives: comparison

My wish isn’t to mean everything to everyone

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“My wish isn’t to mean everything to everyone but something to someone.”

—Oscar Wilde, 19th Century Irish poet and playwright

Image from Unsplash by NorWood Themes

When we compare ourselves to others, we often focus on how many of them are ahead of us.

By trying to make up ground and get to the front of the pack, we often spread our efforts very thin and rarely make the significant difference we intend.

Sometime when we try to go big we and others would be far better off if we stayed home.

EXERCISE:

How would focus on fewer relationships at home be far more impactful than going an inch deep and a mile wide?

“A crown, if it hurts us, is not worth wearing.”

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“A crown, if it hurts us, is not worth wearing.”

—Pearl Bailey, 20th century American actress, singer and author

Image from Unsplash by Nathan Mcgregor

What are the ways that you and others measure success?

How do you keep score to know if you are winning?

How near or far are you from being king or queen of the hill?

Status is one way people measure themselves and others. Think about the business world, entertainment, sports, politics, the military, social media, and other areas of life in which people compare and contrast where they stand.

Where have you noticed or personally experiences the pain of personal and professional status?

EXERCISE:

Where does wearing the crown of status present a cost far too high to pay?

One key to knowing joy is to be easily pleased.

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“One key to knowing joy is to be easily pleased.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by NordWood Themes

We live in a world of constant comparison. It is driving many of us crazy.

Foolishly we believe that constantly pursuing excellence in all things is a sign of worldliness and higher status. Consider this list:

  • The vehicle you drive
  • The food you eat
  • Where you went to school
  • Your career or job
  • Your home
  • Your family and friends
  • Where you go on holiday or vacation
  • The water you drink

When we see ourselves as special, deserving only the best, we can become isolated. When no one or no-thing can meet our high standards on every occasion we are guaranteed to be let down.

What if instead, we seek to discover the specialness in all things that come our way as a path toward greater joy and happiness?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Factfulness by Hans Rosling. I am sure you will be even more easily pleased with your life.

“Counting other people’s sins does not make you a saint.”

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“Counting other people’s sins does not make you a saint.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Tanner Mardis

What does it mean to live a good and meaningful life?
How important is it for you to be kind, thoughtful, generous, and of service?
Where do you see yourself on the saint-to-sinner spectrum of human behavior?

Many of us look at life and others with a critical eye. We often make comparisons to justify our predominate good-deed-doing status, and give ourselves pretty good marks on most days.

How many “brownie points” it takes to get into Heaven, no one knows. Keeping score of other’s sins is unlikely to increase your chances. Finding fault may actually be the type of sin we all should avoid.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you more fully express your values through virtuous actions?
Where and how can you more fully seek and find the saintly efforts within your personal and professional communities?

“How are you doing at keeping up with yourself?”

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“How are you doing at keeping up with yourself?”

—Author Unknown

When someone asks How are you doing?, where do you go to look for your answer?

Far too often, many of us look to compare our lots in life with those displayed in the media. This comparison with others can be a slippery slope, often leaving many feeling stressed, anxious, and even depressed.

Many authorities suggest that a more empowering and positive approach is to focus primarily on bettering oneself and only competing with the person you were yesterday.

EXERCISE:

What actions and efforts are you taking these days to not only keep up but exceed your previous self?

Consider engaging the support of a coach, mentor, friend, or family member to increase the likelihood of success.

“Govern thy life and thy thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one and read the other.”

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“Govern thy life and thy thoughts as if the whole world were to see the one and read the other.”

—Thomas Fuller, 17th Century English Churchman/Historian

Image from Unsplash by Deniz Göçmen

What have you been doing these days? What have you been thinking about over the past few months? How pleased are you by what you and the world are seeing in your efforts and overall character?

Comparing oneself to others can be a slippery slope with a considerable down side. But examining the best qualities of others can be an excellent form of coaching by the example certain individuals set for us to emulate.

Look for the qualities of generosity, compassion, empathy, kindness, and courage as these individuals navigate their days to serve their communities while – hopefully – taking care of their own well being.

EXERCISE:

When you look in the mirror tonight, observe how pleased you feel about how you spent your day. What tweaks or significant adjustments to your actions and thinking will generate greater satisfaction when you look in the mirror tomorrow?

“Happiness is the harvest of a quiet eye.”

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“Happiness is the harvest of a quiet eye.”

—Austin O’Malley, 20th Century ophthalmologist and professor

image from Unsplash by Paz Arando

Who are the people in your personal and professional communities who experience the most Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)?

And those who seem to be always gazing over their neighbor’s fence to view what appears to be a greener, better manicured lawn?

To what degree do their comparisons and potential envy sap their happiness and satisfaction with life?

How do these questions apply to you?

EXERCISE:

Where would the quiet eye of looking more fully at the richness of your world help you harvest greater happiness?

At the end of the game pawns and kings go back into the same box

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“At the end of the game, pawns and kings go back into the same box.”

—Italian Proverb

Image of a chess game in progress

Image from Unsplash by raw pixel

We live in a world of comparisons. Over the millennia, there have been kings and slaves, the wealthy and the poor, the elite and the untouchables.

Examine your own professional and personal worlds for comparisons such as executives versus clerical staff, movie stars, professional athletes, and attractive individuals versus the plain and less talented.

In chess and in life, kings and queens have far more advantages and opportunities to come out on top versus the pawns of our world.

What is the cost we and society pay each day because of this superior/inferior perspective?

EXERCISE:

How would viewing one another as equals with our shared humanness help us all realize a more wonderful life before we go back in the box?

“I’m too busy working on my own…”

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“I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Jeremy Page

Photo from Flickr by Jeremy Page

Spring is here, and the people I speak with can’t wait for warmer weather, longer hours of daylight, and the beauty Mother Nature provides.

When my neighbors begin to emerge from their homes, I see them out walking or participating in some other physical activity, or, relative to today’s quote, jumping into lawn care and maintenance.

I’ve heard some of them compare their lawns to others—sometimes favorably, others not. This characteristic of comparison can be a source of upsets, dissatisfaction, and frustration.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional life are you paying too much attention to other people’s grass? How would tending to the fertilization and care of your own abilities, projects, and priorities reward you with the results and satisfaction you desire?