Tag Archives: Demp Coaching

Fame has only the span of a day

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“Fame has only the span of a day, they say. But to live in the hearts of the people – that is worth something.”

—Ouida, pseudonym of the 19th Century English novelist, Maria Louise Ramé

Image of the red carpet

Image from rcinet.ca

In the program for a 1968 exhibition of his work at the Moderna Museet in Stockholm, Sweden, Andy Warhol said, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes.”

Today, with our celebrity culture and social media mania, it seems a good percent of the world’s population seeks a day, 15 minutes, or even 15 seconds of fame.

Perhaps the short-lived nature of fame is that it tends to be self-centered, where people are much more focused on being interesting to others than being interested in others.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom can and will you strive to be a person of significance versus merely a success? Where and how can you become more endearing in the hearts of the people around you?

Starve Your Distractions Feed Your Focus

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“Starve Your Distractions. Feed Your Focus.”

—Author Unknown

Image of More/Less, Start/Stop graphic

You are what you eat.

In terms of today’s quote, I am not referring to kale, flax seeds, or salmon.

We are becoming an increasingly ADHD society, in which the “shiny object syndrome” is more prevalent than ever. Take a few moments right now for a careful look at the many things that seek your attention.

The payoff with the wide variety of distractions seems to be some form of pleasure, instant gratification, or an escape from life’s difficulties. Sometimes it’s for twenty seconds for a social media fix, or thirty minutes for a sitcom.

The cost for all of us is the lack or diminishment of our fullest potential on both the personal and professional fronts. Because everyone seems to be engaged in these activities, and we all want to fit in, we unfortunately accept this “dumbing down” of our focus as “normal.”

EXERCISE:

Consider using the More, Less, Start, Stop strategy today, to feed your focus and starve your distractions.

For those who wish to make this a habit, engage the support of others for at least the next month, so the benefits you desire will become sticky and sustainable.

Becoming is Better than Being

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“Becoming is Better than Being.”

—Carol S. Dweck, Stanford University Professor of Psychology

Image of Mindest Book Cover

I consider myself a “work in progress,” a lifelong learner, and of course, a Coach, who is in the business of helping others become a better version of themselves in as many areas of life as they desire.

The book Mindset, by Carol S. Dweck describes the fixed and growth mindsets that apply to each of us to various degrees. Attributes of each include:

FIXED MINDSET GROWTH MINDSET
Skills, abilities and intelligence are static Intelligence and ability can be developed through effort
Works from a “judge and be judged” framework Learning occurs from setbacks
Avoids obstacles & challenges
Gives up earlier in the process
Often ignores feedback		 Open and receptive to feedback
The success of others poses a threat to them The success of others is a model to guide their own success journey
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks You can teach an old dog new tricks

EXERCISE:

Where can you augment and fan the flames of your own growth mindset to become the best “YOU” possible?

How can you serve as a coach or mentor for others to help them become all they can be?

Friday Review Enthusiasm

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FRIDAY REVIEW: ENTHUSIASM

How enthusiastic are you about your daily activities? Here are a few enthusiasm-related posts you may have missed. Click the links to read the full messages:

 

“You can do anything if you have enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hope rise to the stars.”

 

 

 

 

“Though you can love what you do not master, you cannot master what you do not love.”

 

 

 

 

“I awake each day thinking of your awakening.”

 

 

 

He who receives a benefit with gratitude

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“He who receives a benefit with gratitude repays the first installment on his debt.”

—Seneca, ancient Roman Philosopher

"Thank You" spelled out in wooden blocks

Image from Unsplash by Courtney Hedger

On this special day of Thanksgiving in the United States, I hope you are spending time with family and friends.

Throughout the day, consider all the riches you have in your life. Consider, too, the benefits you’ve received from those around you.

Take this time to fully and generously thank those in the kitchen, at the dinner table, and watching the football game, as a small installment on this debt.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you take this attitude of gratitude with you throughout the holiday season and new year to generate a surplus in your account?

For everything you have missed you have gained something else

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“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th Century American Essayist

Book Cover Image

I have some bad news.

You can’t have it all, despite what the media and marketing industry tells you.

I also have an abiding faith that you can have many of the things you deeply desire if you recognize and embrace the concept John Maxwell calls the “Law of Trade-offs.”

As an example, I am an early-to-bed-early-to-rise kind of guy. Given this habit, I fully recognize that I miss late-night events many people relish for their daily efforts. What I gain is the rest and added vitality to wake up refreshed, go to the health club, and be fully present to the clients I am committed to serving.

EXERCISE:

Where can you apply the Law of Trade-offs to intentionally choose things you are willing to miss in order to gain even more of the things you value?

Born to hopes and aspirations

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“It is not for man to rest in absolute contentment. He is born to hopes and aspirations.”

—Robert Southey, 19th Century British Poet

Image of Life Below Zero screen

Image from zerodemands.com

How much time do you give to the TV or computer screen each day?

Most of us, including myself, enjoy the distractions and guilty pleasures they provide. I do, however, have a rule. In the time I give, I want to learn something or be inspired in some way.

With that said, I often watch the National Geographic Channel. One of my favorite shows is called “Life Below Zero,” in which people choose quite happily to live near and up to 200 miles north of the arctic circle in Alaska.

I am always amazed at how hopeful, energized, and fulfilled they seem to be. They live a life of their choosing, filled with hardships that include finding water, food, and shelter from an often brutal and potentially life-threatening climate.

EXERCISE:

Where are you resting and taking it a bit too easy these days? What deeply held hopes and aspirations would cause you to leave this comfort to realize the committed future you deeply desire?

Hard to See a Halo when you’re looking for Horns

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“It’s hard to see a halo when you’re looking for horns.”

—Cullen Hightower, late American quip writer

Image of a halo hanging on devel's horns

Image from VG24

Are you a good person?

Most of us like to think we are – and could even prove it through the kind and generous gestures we make throughout the day.

Take a moment to look at the variety of people in your personal and professional worlds. How many have the same size halo you see above your own head? Perhaps more disturbingly, how often do you see their not-so-pleasant horns, because you are focusing on their faults and shortcomings?

EXERCISE:

Abraham Lincoln once said, “I don’t like that man. I need to get to know him better.”

How can you, too, rise above your own fault-finding perceptions and discover far more halos in those around you?

 

Friday Review Discovery

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FRIDAY REVIEW: DISCOVERY

What can and will you discover about yourself and your world today? Here are a few discovery-related posts you may have missed:

“We discover greatness within once we learn to cultivate and celebrate it in others.”

 

 

 

 

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered. The point is to discover them.”

 

 

 

“Your work is to discover your work and then, with all your heart, to give yourself to it.”

 

 

 

The More you Eat the less flavor

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“The more you eat, the less flavor. The less you eat, the more flavor.”

—Chinese Proverb

Image of a small plate meal

Image from Unsplash by Kawin Harasai

The next time you sit down to enjoy one of your favorite meals, try this:

For the first ten minutes, eat only three to five mouthfuls, paying particular note to the texture and flavor of each bite you mindfully chew.

Next, take a “Thanksgiving Size” portion of the same meal, and chow away. Make sure you go beyond your level of satiety to the point of moderate discomfort. Pay particular attention to your awareness of texture and flavor.

EXERCISE:

Where and how would the practice of eating less in a more mindful manner bring you greater pleasure and perhaps a bit smaller waistline as a bonus?