Switch up your stress story

Switch up your stress story.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Elisa Ventur

To what degree do you feel like you are at a breaking point?  Where are the levels of personal and professional stress having a negative impact on your physical and mental health?

I recently visited the Corning Museum of Glass in Corning, New York. Of particular interest was a glass breaking exhibition in which various types of glass were put to the test. Over the years of use and development of this miraculous material, engineers and scientists have come up with numerous processes to make glass far stronger and resistant to breakage.

EXERCISE:

Where are you being tempered and heat treated through various life experiences? How can you view these events and the stories you tell about them as opportunities for greater growth and resilience?

I once was better at this than I am

“I once was better at this than I am.”

Arthur C. Brooks, American social scientist, musician, and columnist

Image from Unsplash by Armand Khoury

Where are you still climbing the ladders of life? Where do you continue to learn, grow, and achieve new levels of excellence and mastery?

Where have you peaked in your personal and professional efforts? Where it is harder to keep up with your former self?

In what areas of your life have you noticed declines in physical or mental capacities, and how well are you doing navigating this descent?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Brook’s book From Strength to Strength and pay particular attention to the concepts of fluid versus crystalized intelligence. These concepts were first described by Raymond Cattell in his 1971 book, Abilities: Structure, Growth, and Action.

I hope these resources offer you evidence and that we can all keep getting better in ways we may previously not have considered.

It is good to have an end to journey toward

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”

—Ursula K. Le Guin, Late American speculative fiction author

Image from Unsplash by Neal E. Johnson

What are your most important goals for 2022? To what degree have you progressed toward them and how do you feel about your efforts?

How do you expect to feel when you reach the end of your journey and stand on the peaks of your achievements?  What then?

Another goal and then another. How is it possible to remain energized and not be let down soon after we actually hold the prize?

Numerous experts on personal and professional development suggest we focus on growth versus goals.  This shift in perspective supports us in gaining satisfaction from our efforts and milestones along our paths instead of just the pots of gold at our journey’s end.

EXERCISE:

Where would adopting a growth versus a goal mindset enhance your motivation, momentum, and levels of success?

Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path but the lesson to be learned is always ours

“Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path, but the lesson to be learned is always ours.”

—Melody Beattie, American self-help author

Image from Unsplash by niko photos

Imagine your life as an oak tree standing tall in a healthy forest. Your life began as an acorn filled with potential from a nearby member of your family. You got lucky that first season, landing in a fertile spot with lots of water, nutrients, and sunlight.

With all of these positive influences you received the bonus of a squirrel burying you, and not remembering where, over the winter. You sprouted, started sending your branches and leaves to the sky and your roots deep into the ground. One day you, too, got to be generous, and dropped your own wise acorns onto the ground.

EXERCISE:

What are some of the most impactful lessons you have learned over the years?

Who were some of the guides and teachers that helped you grow?

What lessons are you still learning and who are the people that continue to bring out your best?

“There is a gap between stimulus and response, and the key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space.”

“There is a gap between stimulus and response, and the key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space.”

—Stephen Covey, 20th century American author & educator

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

This past year has been disturbing and remarkable at the same time. My initial experience of the pandemic and other challenges confronting us was to become angry, frustrated, and down. My world seemed smaller and I felt increasingly confined and limited.

Eventually I stopped looking exclusively outside myself and began a far more intentional and rigorous journey within.

Through numerous practices such as meditation, daily walks, and extensive reading, I found the gaps. I took longer pauses in my thinking and feelings, which provided significant freedom and greater opportunities and possibilities to choose my responses.

Discovering this capacity to be increasingly mindful and aware of my own inner power has enhanced my growth and life satisfaction in many surprising ways.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you use the spaces between stimulus and response to more mindfully navigate life?

I’d very much like to learn about your efforts and progress, and hope you will consider replying to this and future posts.

“Why do you get up in the morning?”

“Why do you get up in the morning?”

—Dan Buettner, New York Times-bestselling author

Image from Unsplash by Somnox Sleep

I like to start each day as purposefully as possible to learn and grow, to express gratitude and especially to find ways to serve others.

Writing The Quotable Coach post most mornings over the last nine years is one important expression that meets all of the criteria. Today I am getting up a bit early to go shopping for food for us and a close friend.

What are some of the important reasons you get up each morning? What goals and intentions empower and energize you, make your day special for yourself and others? How will spending your day this way put a smile of satisfaction on your face when you lie down to sleep tonight?

EXERCISE:

Consider exploring the 2200 Quotable Coach posts that are sorted by categories. Please consider sharing this resource with others whom you wish to support and serve in the coming year.

Thank You!

“When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

“When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

—Alexander Den Heijer, Dutch inspirational speaker

Image from Unsplash by Quino Al

Consider yourself a type of flower. Notice how you’ve grown and hopefully bloomed over the years. If you have been fortunate to show the world your colors and contributed your gifts and talents, consider giving thanks to the people and resources that surrounded you.

We are all born with the seed of possibility within us, and the evidence is clear—through examples such as early child education—of what a profound difference it makes throughout our lives.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you nurture and enrich the environment in which you are placed? How and in what ways can and will you provide the fertile soil, sunshine, and life affirming waters to help others blossom in your personal and professional communities?

“Don’t focus on only one growth path.”

“Don’t focus on only one growth path.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Vladislav Babienko

To what degree are you a one-dimensional or multi-dimensional person?

Take a close look at how you spend your days and who you spend them with.

In which of these communities are you experiencing the greatest engagement and growth?

Alternatively, where do you feel stuck, stopped, or even regressing?

Over the past several months, some of my clients and many people in my professional networks have seen their growth thwarted. Many of us have had our cheese moved by the pandemic and its economic consequences. Many are exploring other options, or are engaged in what I like to call a dual strategy – pursuing alternative and supplemental career options.

Beyond the working world, many of them are also taking the time to invest in personal and professional growth efforts, to better themselves and others.

EXERCISE:

Consider purchasing Seth Godin’s book, The Bootstrapper’s Bible, to see how you might pursue the idea of starting and growing your own business. The book was originally written in 1998 and while a bit dated, contains many of the fundamentals to get you going.

“What is the part of yourself that you left behind to become the person you are today?”

“What is the part of yourself that you left behind to become the person you are today?”

—Deborah Anacona, Founder of the MIT Leadership Center

Image from Pinterest

Imagine that you are a lobster that is not on the menu of some local restaurant.

You are swimming in the ocean, doing what lobsters do.

To get to be a two pound or larger crustacean, you had to molt many times. Over the years, you broke out of your shell due to your continuous growth.

What constraining or limiting factors did you have to leave behind to reach this point?

EXERCISE:

What parts of yourself will need to grow – and what parts must be shed – to become the person you will be tomorrow?

“Stop watering things that were never meant to grow in your life. Water what works, what’s good, what’s right.”

“Stop watering things that were never meant to grow in your life. Water what works, what’s good, what’s right.”

—T.D. Jakes, American pastor, author and filmmaker

Image from Unsplash by Markus Spiske

Fast forward about two months to early spring. Go outside and take a look at your lawn and your flower beds. You are just about to turn on the automatic sprinklers and all outside hoses are ready to water the hard-to-reach areas.

But wait!

You take a closer look at the state of these areas and see that the most robust growth seems to be mostly weeds. What do you do before flipping the switch?

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently watering the weeds in your life?

What gardening efforts are called for so that you have more of what works, what is good, and what is right growing and blossoming in your life?