Tag Archives: presence

Compassion is to share the pain without sharing the suffering

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“Compassion is to share the pain without sharing the suffering.”

—Shinzen Young, American meditation teacher

Image from Unsplash by Paulo Meza

True compassion isn’t about absorbing another’s sorrow, but about being present and supportive.

When someone we care about is hurting, our instinct is often to take on their suffering. Instead, compassion invites us to listen deeply, offer comfort, and walk beside them through their pain.

We acknowledge their struggles without becoming overwhelmed ourselves.

In this way, we become a source of strength and hope, rather than additional weight.

Compassion is a gentle balance — feeling with, not for, another.

It’s a gift of presence, understanding, and love that uplifts the giver and the receiver, fostering healing and connection.

EXERCISE:

Who in your life is in need of compassionate support?

In what ways can you be with them and ease their burden without needing to carry their emotional weight?

You can dramatically extend life

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“You can dramatically extend life — not by multiplying the number of years, but by expanding the fullness of your moments.”

—Shinzen Young, American Meditation Teacher

Image from Unsplash by Simon Berger

We often dream of extending our lives, wishing for more trips around the sun. But what if true longevity isn’t about adding time, but about deepening our experience of each moment?

Life’s richness isn’t measured in years alone, but in the fullness with which we live. By being present and embracing each moment wholeheartedly, we dramatically expand our lives — not in length, but in depth.

So, seek meaning in the Now. In doing so, you’ll discover a life that feels not just longer, but in many ways, limitless.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can mindfulness help you live more fully?

What practical steps can you take to make your daily experiences more meaningful?

Consider reading “How Will you Measure your Life” by Clay Christensen for ideas to put more life into your years.
You can also view his TED talk from 2012 on this subject

Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to

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“Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.”

—Saint Augustine of Hippo, Ancient Roman theologian and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Jeremy

Saint Augustine’s wisdom reminds us of the limits of our reach and our presence.

We often wish to help everyone, but our capacity is finite.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed, we are encouraged to focus on those who cross our paths — neighbors, colleagues, friends, even strangers. Every encounter is an opportunity for kindness.

By being present and attentive to those around us, we create ripples of goodness that often extend far beyond our immediate circle.

EXERCISE:

In what ways does today’s quote challenge you to rethink your approach to doing good?

How can focusing on the people around you enhance your sense of community and purpose?

 

Awaken to the mystery of being here and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence

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“Awaken to the mystery of being here and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence.”

—John O’Donohue, shared by fellow blogger Sue Hetherington

Image from Unsplash by Edge2Edge Media

Neil de Grasse Tyson recently discussed the odds of our existence by highlighting the vast number of potential genetic combinations that could create a human being.

In a conversation with comedian Theo Von, Tyson explained that while approximately 100 billion people have ever lived, the number of possible genetic combinations that could form a human being is exponentially larger.

This mathematical perspective underscores the extraordinary nature of being alive as a miraculous gift we get to open each day.

EXERCISE:

What will you do today and in the future with your life lottery winnings?

The past is a place of reference, not a residence

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“The past is a place of reference, not a residence. The past is a place of learning, not a place of living.”

—Roy T. Bennett, Late Author of The Light in the Heart

Image from Unsplash by Shantung Kulkarni

Our minds are marvelous. In a split second we can use our imagination to go anywhere and do anything.

By working at the speed of light and beyond, we can use mental worm holes and folds in spacetime to explore our limitless inner and outer worlds.

Another handy trick is our ability to go back in time or into the future whenever we wish.

Although daydreaming about the future and how our life may unfold is common, trips down memory lane seem to be even more prominent, since these roads have already been traveled.

Unfortunately, all this mental leaping can have us miss the very moments that make up these memories we hope to reflect upon down the road.

EXERCISE:

How much of your life do you spend residing in the past?

What lessons have you learned to make sure you prioritize opening the gifts of the present?

This is It

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“Act with deep understanding that ‘This is It’.”

—Author Unknown

Image of word "Now" with the "O" as a clock face

Image from Spear Education

One of my favorite quotes from the early years of The Quotable Coach series is “Time is the coin of your life,” by Carl Sandburg. The idea that our time on this planet is finite, and that we allocate or spend our life equity is profound.

What if you were something other than human, whose average life span is 79 years? Here are the average life spans of some other earthly creatures:

Mayfly 1 day Worker Ant 6 months
Worker Bee 1 year Queen Bee 5 years
Bull Frog 16 years Bat 24 years
Camel 50 years Galapagos Tortoise 193 years

EXERCISE:

How can and will you make the most of your time by taking a “This is It” perspective?  Who will you choose to spend time with to live each precious moment you have been given?

Feel free to reply with some of the actions you plan or will continue to take.

A Wonderful Thought

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“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet!”

-Author Unknown

image from searchengineland.com

image from searchengineland.com

Today’s quote caused me to pause a bit longer than I normally do as I look to the New Year ahead. Instead of looking at the year as a whole, or even fleshing out the priority goals and objectives I wish to tackle, I plan on looking at each day as a unique and precious gift.

One way to see the value of this exercise is to take a trip into your past to examine and pleasantly re-experience, through memory, some of the really great days and experiences. As you take the time to do this, count how many great days you can recall. The list will probably be finite.

EXERCISE:

How can you design the coming year, proactively and intentionally, to have as many remarkable days this year as you have had to this point in your life?

“Be mindful of the future…”

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“Be mindful of the future… but not at the expense of the moment.”

– Qui-Gon Jinn, a fictional character in the Star Wars saga

 

Image from ompuertoviejo.wordpress.com

Image from ompuertoviejo.wordpress.com

I’ve noticed recently that many people get ahead of themselves, living far too often in the future. See if any of these scenarios apply to you:

  • You are constantly thinking about the upcoming weekend.
  • You find yourself frequently envisioning your next vacation.
  • You can’t wait to retire from your job—which may be many years away.
  • You often anticipate your next job or promotion, or the one after that.
  • You can’t wait to have that next new suit, car, or bigger home.

Although I am a big advocate of having goals that spur all of us on to achieve better futures, I see far too many people missing out on the daily activities that make their journey worthwhile.

EXERCISE:

How would being mindful of the present provide you more satisfaction in your personal and professional life, as you pursue your goals and visions for the future?

Don’t stumble over something behind you

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“Don’t stumble over something behind you.”

– Seneca, Roman Stoic philosopher

Where do you live? I don’t mean your country,  city, or state. Ultimately, we all live in our thoughts, regardless of our physical location.

With this in mind, how often do your thoughts go to past events and experiences that were negative and upsetting? As humans, we have the ability to instantly travel back in time, to revisit and yes, stumble over these same events along with all their limiting feelings.

Exercise:

Imagine that you are born with a  factory-installed time machine with three settings: past, present and future. How can you, through greater self-awareness and intentionality, limit your negative journeys backwards to maximize your experiencing of the present?  Perhaps you could venture forward from time to time into the delightful possibilities of the future!