Tag Archives: The Quotable Coach

What we see when watching others

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“What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.”

—Author Unknown

Woman looking through a Dirty Window

Image from Unsplash

Driving in Michigan, specifically in the Detroit metropolitan area, is challenging for numerous reasons. If we eliminate poor roads, construction and heavy traffic, we are left with what I call visibility challenges. Rain, fog, road salt, frost, snow, and splattered insects all have a way of reducing the clarity of our windshields.

I dislike not having clarity so much that I just had a special window treatment applied to our new SUV to better help us see where we are going.

Exercise:

What are some of your obstructing views, beliefs, and attitudes about others that are blocking your clear and objective view?

How can you apply your own perceptional “Windex” to help clarify what you see in others and in yourself?

one corner of the universe

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“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”

– Aldous Huxley, author

Photo by John Sting on Unsplash

Those of you who have been reading The Quotable Coach for some time may know that in my first career 30 years ago I was a science teacher. Two subjects I found most fascinating were astronomy and physics.

Entropy (“the degree of disorder and randomness of a system”) is constantly at work expanding the universe and bringing disorder to our world. Fortunately, as Huxley suggests, we can use our own energies to counter this disorder and design the world as we desire.

Exercise:

How will you use your energy today to improve your corner of the universe?

How can you combine your energies with others to make even larger improvements in your world?

“Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.”

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“Don’t compromise yourself. You’re all you’ve got.”

– Janis Joplin, singer-songwriter

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Earlier this month, my family celebrated the wedding of my daughter Rachel in Sanibel Island, Florida. It was simply the best event I’ve ever attended. The venue was a secluded beach, complete with close family and friends. We also got the bonus of a beautiful rainbow, an inspiring sunset, and even some dolphins swimming by.

Videographers, photographers, great food, a beautiful venue and dancing till midnight were just some of the things that made it special.

The credit for these memories goes to many people, especially my extraordinary wife Wendy and my beautiful daughter for never compromising their vision of a fairy-tale wedding come true.

Exercise:

What could you achieve by not compromising? How can you take a step closer to your highest vision today?

Break Our Own Records

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“Our business in life is not to get ahead of others but to get ahead of ourselves, to break our own records, to outstrip our yesterday by outperforming today.”

– Stewart B. Johnson, artist

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One of the key concepts I use in my work as a coach is “creative tension.” I came across this term in Robert Fritz’s book The Path of Least Resistance, published in 1989. It points to the power of a better future to literally pull us from our current realities, to act each day to make that future a reality.

We have the opportunity to become better than ourselves in any areas we wish.

Exercise:

Select one area in your personal or professional life where you wish to outperform your current self. Develop a project action plan with a coach, colleague, friend, mentor, or family member to help you break your own records and outstrip your yesterdays.

Consider replying to this message and let me know which area you select, for a bit more accountability.

“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

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“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save. They just stand there, shining.”

– Anne Lamott, novelist and non-fiction writer

Image of a lighthouse battered by huge waves

St. Joseph, Michigan North Pier Lighthouse

As a coach, my business is a bit unusual in that I now hold most of my coaching sessions via video conference. Instead of running all over town to meet with each client, I created a secure harbor in a calm and confidential location, removed from the often hectic rushing around that comprises many people’s days.

Exercise:

Where are you currently running all over your personal and professional “island” looking for boats to save?

How could you let your own shining light act as a beacon to bring greater sanity, security and success into your world?

“A true friend never gets in your way…”

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“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”

– Arnold H. Glasow, author

Image from blog.bcwinstitute.org

Image from blog.bcwinstitute.org

Do you know who your true friends are? Today’s quote presents a bit of a test to help you identify the good ones. These are the people who support us in living our best lives and stand for us being all we can be.

At the same time, they are also the people who are there during life’s challenging and difficult times to lend us a shoulder to lean on – or carry us completely when things are at their darkest.

Exercise:

Thank the friends around you for being there in both good and difficult times, and while doing so, look within yourself to see how you stack up as a friend to others.

A lesson taught with humor

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 “A lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained.”

– Ruth K. Westheimer, aka “Dr Ruth”, sex therapist

One of the primary reasons I chose to pursue the profession of coaching 20 years ago was because of the considerable shortcomings of other forms of training and development. We all have books, binders, tapes and seminar folders sitting on our shelves that are barely remembered, and collecting dust.

Coaching is all about stickiness and sustainability, where the lessons learned often – in an experiential way – stay with us and become habituated.

Humor, as Dr. Ruth suggests, is a great way to make an idea or experience memorable, sticky and sustainable.

Exercise:

Where can you add a bit – or a bunch – of humor and fun to lessons being shared in both your professional and personal worlds?

Google the phrase “the use of humor to support learning” and see what you learn.

From the Inside

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“If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside.”

– Jim Kwik, learning expert

Image from Flickr by Nathan Unstead

Image from Flickr by Nathan Unstead

In many ways, the coaching process can be compared to helping individuals or organizations come out of their shells.

Just as a bird forces itself to emerge from its shell, the coaching process, with its powerful questions, taps into the power of people’s commitments to help them break free of the confines of their own limits.

Exercise:

Select one area of your life today where you plan to break out of your current constraints, to spread your wings and fly.

Press reply and let me know what happens.

“Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of their peer groups.”

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“Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of their peer groups.”

– Tony Robbins, motivational speaker

Image of apples in a row with faces from happy to sad

Image from SurveyRock

How satisfied are you with your life? Rate each key area on a 1 – 10 scale with 10 being absolutely delighted. Now take a look at the life satisfaction levels of your peer group. What you will likely find is that your own satisfaction is a bit higher than most – maybe even the highest.

In such cases, if you wish to propel (or in this case pull) your life even further forward, you may need to explore moving beyond your current peer group. As in certain sports, we don’t tend to get much better if we continue to play competitors at the same level.

Exercise:

Explore the possibility that you have outgrown certain relationships that may be holding you back.

Take the steps necessary to respectfully and gracefully move your life forward by finding some new peers that will more fully support your growth.

learn from the mistakes of others

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 “We should learn from the mistakes of others. We don’t have time to make them all ourselves.”

– Groucho Marx, comedian

A few weeks ago, I was watching a video interview of Rich Roll by Jonathan Fields as part of his Good Life Project. Roll is a top Ultra-man competitor who is considered one of the fittest men in the world.

It wasn’t always this way. In his earlier life, Rich was a drug addict and alcoholic. Through his own story and miraculous turn around, he has inspired thousands of people to pursue greater health and vitality through dramatic dietary changes and intensive exercise.

Exercise:

Examine the lives of people you know personally and professionally to see what lessons you could use to live a more fulfilling life. What positive behaviors will you emulate and which mistakes will you definitely avoid?