Category Archives: Growth

“Everything you go through grows you.”

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“Everything you go through grows you.”

—Robert Tew, Chairman at Newcastle Knights Limited

Photo from Flickr by John Llu

Photo from Flickr by John Llu

How much formal education have you received? Perhaps you finished high school or college, and maybe you went further to receive an advanced degree or certification.

You may be glad that your educational experiences are over because they have little relevancy today, as you navigate your professional and personal pursuits.

Today’s quote reminds us that we are always enrolled in our own 24/7 life classroom, where we have considerable influence and autonomy to choose and customize our own advanced degree in life if – and it is an important if – we pay attention to all the growth opportunities around us.

EXERCISE:

As you enter your day, how do you intend to grow? As you reflect on your day, how did you grow through the experiences of the day?

“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”

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“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”

– Jon Acuff, New York Times Bestselling author

Photo from Flickr bykevandotorg

Photo from Flickr by kevandotorg

Have you or do you know anyone close to you who started a new job, hobby, or sport?

Although we all know cognitively that it takes time to build competency and eventually mastery, many people compare their own beginning skill level to others who have been on this or a similar journey for some time.

They see where they are limited or falling short because the comparisons they make are not equal, and actually unfair.

EXERCISE

As you strive toward excellence in any area of life, be inspired by the mastery and  capabilities of those you admire, yet compare your current capabilities only to those of what you were capable of yesterday.

Growth and comfort seldom ride the same horse

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“Growth and comfort seldom ride the same horse.”

—Author Unknown

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Image from Flickr by Montgomery County Planning Commission

When I was a small boy, I went to a carnival where I had the opportunity to ride a pony.  The initial aspect of walking in a circle at a slow pace was enjoyable – however, I found that my bottom got a bit of a jolt when we worked our way up to a trot!

At the start of a new year, very few of us wish to kick things off at a walking pace. Our goals are far more ambitious – and we must gallop forward to reach them with urgency.

Today’s quote suggests that we be prepared for a rough and sometimes bumpy ride to reach our destination before the setting sun.

Exercise:

Identify between two and three primary goals you have for 2014 where you are fully prepared for the possibility of a rough ride.

Share these goals with a coach, mentor, colleague or family member who will support your efforts to reach your destination.

“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed…”

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“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be realized and channeled toward some great good.”

– Brian Tracy, motivational speaker and author

During my initial full-day workshop to prepare my clients for coaching, I have them do a core values exercise where they narrow down a list of 60 values down to 20, then 10, then finally 3.

A very high percentage of the time, the value of “personal growth and development” (living up to the full use of their potential) makes at least the top 10.

Exercise:

What new oceans will you be sailing and what new continents do you plan to explore in the near future? How will you channel the potential within you toward some great good?

Consider exploring the work of Peter Senge, who wrote The Fifth Discipline and The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, from which the list I use was developed:

www.amazon.com/Fifth-Discipline-Practice-Learning-Organization-ebook/dp/B000SEIFKK

www.amazon.com/Fifth-Discipline-Fieldbook-Strategies-Organization-ebook/dp/B004MPR6PQ

From the Inside

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“If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside.”

– Jim Kwik, learning expert

Image from Flickr by Nathan Unstead

Image from Flickr by Nathan Unstead

In many ways, the coaching process can be compared to helping individuals or organizations come out of their shells.

Just as a bird forces itself to emerge from its shell, the coaching process, with its powerful questions, taps into the power of people’s commitments to help them break free of the confines of their own limits.

Exercise:

Select one area of your life today where you plan to break out of your current constraints, to spread your wings and fly.

Press reply and let me know what happens.

“One can choose to go back toward safety, or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

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“One can choose to go back toward safety, or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

– Abraham Maslow, psychologist

What would you do today if you were laid off from your job unexpectedly? Most of us would be jolted from our experience of relative stability into full alert, maybe even panic.

On the other hand, what if each morning, you had a new job or career, where you got to lead and influence your day? What new results and difference could you make? It’s up to you to pursue safety or growth, courage or fear. Your choice!

Exercise:

As you go throughout your day, reflect on the following thoughts:

Faced with X, I usually do Y. Instead, I’m going to choose Z which will support my growth.

Consider writing me back and let me know what “Z”s you took.

“If you won’t be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?”

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“If you won’t be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?”

– Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, founder of the Breslov Hasidic movement

A fundamental characteristic about most individuals who seek the assistance of a coach is that they have a strong desire for growth and development. Being their best, realizing their full potential, and testing their limits are common values these people tend to share.

To what degree are you still a work in progress, even if you are many years beyond any formal education?

Exercise:

Explore the list of growth areas below to assess your progress or desire to work on these today to have some better tomorrows:

·         Parenting
·         Health and fitness
·         Career advancement
·         Faith
·         Hobbies
·         Music
·         Art
·         Friendship
·         Leadership
·         Emotional intelligence
·         Home repair
·         Travel
·         Languages

Please add to this list and let me know what categories are important to you, by replying to this email.

Interview on Coaching with the Michigan Business Network

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I had the pleasure of being interviewed on the Michigan Business Network’s radio show “Association Impact” last week. During the discussion, I answered questions such as:

  • What kind of process do you use when working with executives?
  • What makes a coaching process more effective than training alone?
  • What does a typical coaching relationship look like in terms of time commitment and costs?

You can listen to the interview here:

[audio:http://www.dempcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/MMOTIONSS5.mp3|titles=Barry Demp on Association Impact – Part One] [audio:http://www.dempcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/MMOTIONSS6.mp3|titles=Barry Demp on Association Impact – Part Two]

Wise Quote from Henry David Thoreau

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“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.”

– Henry David Thoreau

One of the most satisfying things about being a coach is that I get to watch and participate in people’s conscious efforts to improve their lives. I get to ask them deep, probing questions about where they wish to move forward – and I get to watch them courageously turning these insights into action.

Unfortunately, some people don’t have adequate support to bring these unconscious commitments to the conscious surface and then provide an accountability structure to realize their goals.

Exercise:

Who can you talk and partner with, to elevate your life more intentionally?

“Act so as to elicit the best in others and thereby in thyself.”

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“Act so as to elicit the best in others and thereby in thyself.”

–Felix Adler

This quote is perhaps one of the closest to the core message regarding coaching, which is “bring out the best in others.” Most people have an inherent desire to be their very best and to realize their fullest potential.

Many of our schools, our religious institutions, even our families, utilize an “outside-in” training method for development. This approach fosters conformity, and often limits creative self-expression.

Coaching comes from the place that many answers and capacities already lie within us. When others elicit these answers and capacities, the growth we experience is both more enjoyable and sustainable.

Exercise:

Who are the people in your life that elicit the best from you?

Where can you be a coach and elicit the best from others?