Changing Us

Posted on November 23, 2015 by Barry

“Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Sebastien Wiertz

A topic that comes up fairly frequently in my coaching sessions these days is aging. As someone in the middle of the Baby Boom Generation, I see that most of my contemporaries are also experiencing the “grayification” of our society. We’re dealing with aging parents and our own health and fitness related issues.

Despite all of our best efforts to eat better, exercise more, and get much-needed rest to renew and recharge, we are heading toward an entropy of life, where things begin to break down and stop working optimally.

There happens to be a new form of coaching called “Eldering.” One of its tenets is to assist people in navigating these years with more grace, dignity, and life mastery.

EXERCISE:

How can you adjust, adapt, or change yourself in relationship to those issues and situations that are unchangeable, to more fully experience a life of greater happiness and fulfillment?

“True Happiness is…”

Posted on August 10, 2015 by Barry

“True Happiness is enjoying the scenery while on a detour.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.culpwrit.com

Over the spring and summer months, road construction in Michigan increases dramatically. Many people joke that we only have two seasons in Michigan—winter, and construction.

Unfortunately, the “happiness level” of many people drops considerably when the orange barrels and detour signs appear. These and other life detours—the things that differ from our intentions and expectations—will always be part of our lives. Today’s quote coaches us to make the most of them rather than resisting them.

EXERCISE:

How can you shift your perspective on the detours in your life, to claim a far greater helping of happiness each and every day?

“It is good to have an end to journey toward…”

Posted on June 3, 2015 by Barry

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

—Ernest Hemingway, American author and journalist

Photo from Flickr by Jonty

If you examine the statistics related to life satisfaction and happiness, you will discover a fundamental trend. Those who are satisfied and happy consistently engage in their own life journey with a strong sense of meaning and purpose.

Far too many people lack this drive as they begin the day. They often wish parts of their lives away as they look forward to a weekend, or a vacation. In some cases, they look forward to retiring from what they experience as a dead-end job.

EXERCISE:

How can you be more of a map-maker and explorer in your professional and personal life, in order to make each day a fulfilling and satisfying journey?

“Even Socrates, who lived a very …”

Posted on January 6, 2015 by Barry

“Even Socrates, who lived a very frugal and simple life, loved to go to the market. When his students asked about this, he replied, ‘I love to go and see all the things I am happy without.’”

— Jack Kornfield, American author and Buddhist teacher

Photo from Flickr by Carlos Blanco

Nearly three years ago I began writing the Quotable Coach series. Six hundred and eighty-three posts later, I recall one of the very first quotes I selected: “The Best Things in Life are not Things.”

Consider exploring the nugget of wisdom by Jack Kornfield to examine the happiness Socrates found from leading a simple life.

EXERCISE:

What are your current sources of happiness? How might traveling lighter and living without some things make you even happier in the year ahead?

“Life’s strongest glue is being happy to be you!”

Posted on September 23, 2014 by Barry

“Life’s strongest glue is being happy to be you!”

-Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Sam-Catch

Have you ever heard someone say another person “has it all together”?

What exactly does this mean? If we look at attributes that could pertain to this statement, we might include the following:

Professional Success
Quality Relationships
Health
Good Looks
Intelligence / Wisdom

This quote points to self-acceptance as an important factor, providing the foundation and adhesive that helps us have a fulfilling life.

EXERCISE:

What are your strongest inner qualities that most support your having a full and happy life?

In what ways can you expand or enhance these attributes to further strengthen your life?

“To strengthen the muscle of your heart the best exercise is lifting someone else’s spirit when you can.”

Posted on September 19, 2014 by Barry

“To strengthen the muscle of your heart the best exercise is lifting someone else’s spirit when you can.”

—Author unknown

Photo from Flickr by tiff_ku1

Did you know that your heart beats over 100,000 times in one day, and over 35 million times in a year? If you live an average lifetime, your heart will beat more than 2.5 billion times.

Each beat of your heart has about the same force as giving a tennis ball a hard squeeze. This force circulates approximately 5.9 quarts of blood through your body, three times every minute.

Through this constant effort the heart pumps the equivalent of about one million barrels of blood during an average lifetime, which is enough to fill more than three super tankers.

EXERCISE:

How can you exercise your heart today by being a coach, mentor, or friend to others, and lift their spirits higher?

“A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live.”

Posted on August 20, 2014 by Barry

“A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live.”

– Bertrand Russell, British philosopher

Image from Flickr by Jamie In Bytown.

If you research happiness, you will discover that most people who describe frequent experience of it include numerous quiet and reflective situations in their lives.

These include meditation, prayer, walking in nature, reading, journaling, and some other forms of reflective writing.

Exercise:

Examine your current life volume and consider turning it down a bit. Look at taking several blocks of quiet time daily to recharge, rejuvenate, and renew yourself.

Feel free to reply to this message with any of your own quiet pursuits that bring you greater joy and happiness.

“Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness.”

Posted on August 15, 2014 by Barry

“Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness.”

– Bertrand Russell, British philosopher

Image from Flickr by Kool Cats Photography.

Make a list of the things you excel at. Most likely, just thinking of these activities will bring a smile to your face. You probably lose track of time while engaging in these pursuits, and have the experience of being “in the zone”.

On the other hand, creating even a shortlist of those activities where you struggle or perform poorly will usually involve avoidance, procrastination, and a pretty grumpy you!

Exercise:

How would playing even more to your strengths and reducing your time spent in your areas of weakness increase your overall life satisfaction?

Be careful to note that it took considerable effort and practice to get good at these things in the first place, and please continue to start and try new things all the time.

“No matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”

Posted on July 3, 2014 by Barry

“No matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”

– Anthony J. D’Angelo, American writer

Image from Flickr by emerille.

Do you ever daydream of living in a place that is always sunny, where the temperature is always ideal, where there are no major storms, hurricanes, tornadoes, etc?

If you do a bit of research, you will discover these top places to live, with relatively ideal weather:

1. Manjimup region, Australia

2. Lisbon, Portugal

3. The northwestern coast of Morocco

4. San Diego, California

5. Barcelona, Spain

6. Vina del Mar, Chile

7. Sassari, Sardinia

8. Adelaide, South Australia

Exercise:

Assuming you don’t plan to move to any of the places above in the near future, how can you optimize your attitude and general life perspective to bring a bit more sunshine into your world?

“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, “

Posted on May 6, 2014 by Barry

“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.”

– Martin Luther King, Jr., Civil Rights Leader

Image from Flickr by mikebaird.

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” is a well-known phrase in the United States Declaration of Independence.

King is suggesting here that perhaps the people who drafted this famous document had it somewhat wrong and that searching for happiness for others is the key to discovering it for ourselves.

Exercise:

How can you seek and support the happiness of others in your personal and professional life?

Consider taking a Post-it® note with the phrase “make their day” on it, and placing it somewhere visible in your office or home as a reminder. I bet your efforts will make your day as well.