“It is better to fail in originality…”

Posted on March 26, 2015 by Barry

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.”

—Herman Melville

Photo from netshark.com

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, however in today’s world, an alternative phrase may be more prominent and perhaps more important:

“Be Distinct or Be Extinct.”

My coaching experience points to this: those who enjoy the greatest successes and satisfaction in life discover early that being their authentic self – living true to their visions and values – is key to a life of passion and purpose.

EXERCISE:

How can you pursue and persist through the potential daily failures and obstacles life presents, to be the one and only, fully expressed YOU?

“There are people who would love to have your bad days.”

Posted on March 25, 2015 by Barry

“There are people who would love to have your bad days.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Tristan Bowersox

A few weeks ago I visited my family physician. I was having a difficult time with a challenging bug affecting a lot of people.

My symptoms included sneezing, sinus congestion, a headache, a scratchy throat, and every coach’s occupational nightmare – laryngitis. My voice vacillated between bullfrog and complete silence.

My appointment time was 3:00 p.m.; I was still in the waiting room at 3:50. The only distraction was the video wall, showing the four seasons at a number of beautiful locations, and other images in the natural world.

Perhaps the most revealing way in which I passed the time was in observing other patients and their significant health challenges. It caused me to shift my perspective of my own “monumental” situation.

EXERCISE:

Notice how often you make mountains out of molehills, or major in the minors of life. Realize all the goodness and reasons for gratitude that surround you. How many people do you see in the course of your days that would prefer to have your life, even when you are having a bad day?

“A wise man adapts…”

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Barry

“A wise man adapts himself to circumstances, as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it.”

-Chinese Proverb

Photo from Amazon.com

In my first career as a science teacher, the work of Charles Darwin and his book, “The Origin of Species,” was always part of the curriculum. The bottom line is that a species will survive only as long as it is able to adapt to its physical environment, including climate, food sources, and predators.

EXERCISE:

How well do you adapt to circumstances so that you survive in your professional and personal ecosystems? What adjustments, if any, are required to optimize your ability to thrive?

“Your big opportunity may be…”

Posted on March 23, 2015 by Barry

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.”

—Napoleon Hill, American author of personal-success literature

QC #737-01

How fulfilled and content with life are you at this moment? How perfect are your personal and professional situations? How often do you find yourself longing for some other place, some other future, where you believe you will be far happier?

EXERCISE:

Imagine that some amazing technology company invented a new device called the “Opportunity-O-Matic,” and you are among the early adopters. When you use the device, you discover, pursue, and realize wondrous possibilities of life, right at your own doorstep.

Perhaps we already have such a device installed in our minds and hearts, momentarily turned to Airplane mode. Are you ready to flip the switch?

“No one ever injured their eyesight by…”

Posted on March 20, 2015 by Barry

“No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Tim Ebbs

A total solar eclipse will be visible in many parts of the world today, but not here in my home town in Michigan, USA. A total solar eclipse occurs when the moon passes between the sun and the earth, and the moon fully blocks the sun. Click here to see if and when the eclipse will be visible in your area.

Most people know that looking directly at the sun can lead to permanent eye damage or blindness. Fortunately, looking at the bright side of life and having an optimistic attitude never injures – and usually aides – people in living happier and more successful lives.

EXERCISE:

Write some of the words listed below on a Post-it Note and stick it somewhere in your home, office, or car where you will see it several times over the next 24 hours… or longer, if you wish.

Cheerful	Hopeful	Positive
Sunny	Encouraging	Idealistic
Promising	Upbeat	Expectant
Rosy	Happy	Enthusiastic

“If you could kick the person…”

Posted on March 19, 2015 by Barry

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”

-Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States

Photo from ibosocial.com

Personal responsibility and accountability are two very important qualities of those who tend to be the most successful in a coaching relationship. People who possess these characteristics know they are the proverbial athlete on the field of their own lives, and only they can put points on the scoreboard.

I often observe, to the contrary, many people playing the victim, putting much, if not all, the blame for their lot in life on others.

President Roosevelt’s statement makes it clear: We, alone, control our thoughts and actions. Hopefully we use them to influence our world for the better.

EXERCISE:

Where would a bit more self-coaching and taking greater responsibility for your current place in life make the biggest difference in your professional or personal life?

“You can’t judge my choices…”

Posted on March 18, 2015 by Barry

“You can’t judge my choices without understanding my reasons.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from delawareemploymentlawblog.com

Without question, judging others and being critical is one of the most common reasons people give when they talk about unsatisfying or destructive relationships.

Unfortunately, this happens daily to some degree, to most of us. A key reason for the universality of this behavior is our constant filtering. We look at the choices of others through our own perception of what is right or wrong, good or bad.

Being genuinely interested in another person’s points of view and seeking to fully understand their perspective lessens the level of judgement and creates greater relationship harmony.

EXERCISE:

Try this four-step exercise when interacting with others, to assist you in taking greater responsibility for making your relationships stronger.

Be aware of your internal voice when listening to others, and notice if this voice is supportive or critical.
Examine your listening. Can you mirror what the other person said and meant?
Ask yourself: What is good and valuable in what they are saying?
Limit your interruptions to those questions that will give you greater clarity and understanding.

“All it takes is one song…”

Posted on March 17, 2015 by Barry

“All it takes is one song to bring back 1,000 memories.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Gordon Marino

I’m a big fan of satellite radio. In the States, we have Sirius XM. I like that it is commercial free, that I can receive the signal wherever I may be driving, and that I can select the programming that suits my taste at the moment.

Last summer, I took a road trip back east with my wife Wendy and my father Marvin. The trip is well over 600 miles and can take anywhere from 11 to 14 hours depending on traffic and rest stops. Each of us had a favorite station. Mine was Watercolors, which highlights contemporary jazz. Wendy prefers The Bridge, which plays folk rock and music of the 60s and 70s, and my dad takes many trips down memory lane listening to Seriously Sinatra.

EXERCISE:

Select your favorite CD, radio station, or satellite channel today. Listen, and allow any memories that may rise to surface. Consider doing this exercise with someone close to you to bring back some of their most cherished times.

Please feel free to reply to this post with a short list of your favorite songs, and the memories they stir up in you.

“It wasn’t a waste of time if…”

Posted on March 16, 2015 by Barry

“It wasn’t a waste of time if you learned something.”

—Author Unknown

Photo from thebusyba.com

Rarely do I hear people complain that the way they spend their time is wasteful. Rather, when these individuals have little or no say or influence on their time, their complaint level rises dramatically.

What we perceive as “time well spent” is often viewed by those around us—particularly in our professional worlds—as wasteful. The same thing occurs with most of us when others are orchestrating and influencing our days.

EXERCISE:

As you begin your day, please consider putting on a pair of “Learning Lenses.” As you discover and appreciate the wide variety of teachable moments and lessons learned, examine the fulfillment and satisfaction available because of this more productive and empowering perspective.

“It’s not always that we need to do more…”

Posted on March 13, 2015 by Barry

“It’s not always that we need to do more, but rather that we need to focus on less.”

—Nathan W. Morris, Author & Personal Financial Expert

Photo from Flickr by M. Dales

As part of my coaching process, I conduct behavioral, achievement, cognitive, and leadership surveys, in order to set a baseline of each individual’s approach toward achievement.

An initial exercise I share with my clients is called More, Less, Start, Stop, which allows them to sort their actions moving forward into one of the four categories. It is an exercise that many find easy to apply and manage in their daily lives.

EXERCISE:

Consider today’s quote. Where would giving more attention to fewer initiatives produce the greatest benefit in your personal or professional life?

Feel free to play around with different combinations of these four words, to discover even greater value in this exercise.