the risk to remain tight

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“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

– Anaïs Nin, author

SONY DSCImage from Flickr by Matt Brittaine.

Safety and security are strong values for many people. They represent part of our collective comfort zones that play an important part in who we are. Unfortunately, there is often a very limiting and sometimes painful consequence to this “better safe than sorry” approach to life.

Exercise:

If a flower misses the rain and sunshine by not blooming, what are you potentially missing by not summoning the courage to blossom into your full expression of yourself? What actions will you take today to blossom?

Please reply and let me know what happens.

Help Choose the Cover for The Quotable Coach Book

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Thanks so much for offering your thoughts on the title for my book. By popular demand, I’ve titled it The Quotable Coach: Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom.
We’ve been through an exciting and fast-paced design process during the past week, and now have four options to choose from.
Thanks again for all your support,
Barry

 

“Values are critical guides for making decisions. When in doubt, they cut through the fog like a beacon in the night.”

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“Values are critical guides for making decisions. When in doubt, they cut through the fog like a beacon in the night.”

—Robert Townsend (attrib.)

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Image from Flickr by briant87

I am reading A Lapsed Anarchist’s Approach to Building a Great Business, by Ari Weinzweig. He is the co-owner of Zingerman’s, located near the University of Michigan’s campus in Ann Arbor.

This book contains a wide variety of essays that show how Zingerman’s became what Bo Burlingham from Inc magazine refers to as “the coolest small company in America.”

Townsend’s quote speaks to the very heart of what makes Zingerman’s, with now over 500 employees, a great place to eat and work.

Exercise:

Google Zingerman’s to do a bit of research into how their values guide their decisions and why they are famous for “the Zingerman experience.” You can even use their mail-order business at zingermancommunity.com to get a literal taste for yourself.

“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.”

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“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson, American writer and philosopher

487Image from Flickr by Celestine Chua.

Self-reflective work, as part of a coaching journey, can produce remarkable results. Pursuing greater inner peace through some of the seven strategies below may help:

1. Seek to love and appreciate others and not control them.

2. Moderate your convictions and consider the viewpoints and perspectives of others.

3. Increase your tolerance of others who are different; learn to better “live and let live.”

4. Embrace your ability to have compassion for others and avoid all forms of violence.

5. Seek forgiveness when you hurt others and be willing to forgive those that may hurt you.

6. Create a naturally beautiful place of peace in your world to provide a sanctuary away from the chaos of your fast-moving life.

7. Do work that you love – that makes a difference in the lives of others – even if this is not your primary vocation. Consider volunteering for a cause you believe in.

Exercise:

Please engage with at least one of the strategies above and determine how it helps you live a more peaceful life.

Consider discussing this list with others in your world, so that you can take this peaceful journey together.

Please reply to this post with some of your best peace-producing strategies to add to the list.

“It’s amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.”

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“It’s amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.”

– John Guare, American playwright

485Image from Flickr by symphony of love.

How happy are you at this very moment? Notice what is going on around you and pay particular attention to your thoughts. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Virtually all coaching relationships pay attention to all three, focusing particularly on each client’s intended vision for the future.

Regardless of whether your yesterday was good, bad or somewhere in between, a little tomorrow, with its hope and intended advancement, can be a great life elixir to pick you up.

Exercise:

As you look back on yesterday, complete today, and look forward to tomorrow, what do you notice?

Feel free to reply with any insights you have.

“Knowledge is like climbing a mountain; the higher you reach, the more you can see and appreciate.”

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“Knowledge is like climbing a mountain; the higher you reach, the more you can see and appreciate.”

– Unknown

484Image from Flickr by kiszka king

When I first read this quote, I immediately wanted to change the word “knowledge” to “wisdom.” After all, most of us have images of wise prophets and sages living on mountaintops, bequeathing us mere mortals below with the wisdom of the ages. However, the pursuit and acquisition of knowledge is still part of the process.

Exercise:

Consider replying with your definitions of “knowledge” and “wisdom,” and how they are related.

What new sights have you been able to see and appreciate during your climb to the top?

Five Quick Quotes

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Five Quick Quotes

483Image from Flickr by juhansonin

Today, I’d like to share a number of short and provocative thoughts about aging to help all of us live more empowered and fulfilling lives as we navigate this journey:

“It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.” (Brigitte Bardot)

“Age is how we determine how valuable you are.” (Jane Elliot)

“Youth is the gift of nature but age is a work of art.” (Stanislaw Jerzy Lec – attrib.)

“The golden age is before us, not behind us.” (Shakespeare)

“Loving someone liberates the lover as well as the beloved. And that kind of love comes with age” (Maya Angelou)

Exercise:

Explore your value as you ripen, to discover the artistry of this golden age and hopefully you will be liberated and loved by many for a very long time.

“We are always the same age inside.”

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“We are always the same age inside.”

– Gertrude Stein, American writer

Image of mother and daughter jumping

Image from Flickr by mikebaird

As I write this, I’m  in Florida with my dad and wife. I can’t believe how much self-reflection I’m doing as I observe everyone going about life as seniors and in many cases super-seniors.

Social clubs and activities abound, and I feel as if I’m in what my wife Wendy refers to as “winter camp”! Of particular note is the level of youthful spirit I see in those around me as I go to the gym, play golf, go out for meals with friends, attend shows and even go out for frozen yogurt at my normal bedtime back home!

These people are still very much the same age inside – and though time has provided a number of bumps that may slow them down a bit, their youthful zest for life keeps them looking forward to each new day.

Exercise:

Examine how your own external image of yourself reflects of your internal age. What thoughts do you have daily that reflect a significantly younger you?

Consider taking the Real Age test to compare your chronological age to what they describe as your “real age.”

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

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“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

– Mark Twain, American author and humorist

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Image from Flickr by basykes

I am writing this post sitting in my 87-year-old father’s place in southern Florida. Besides enjoying the beautiful weather and time with family (my wife is here too), I’d like to share a wonderful surprise I had last night.

My dad lives in a senior community of about 15,000 people, during what is affectionately called the “snowbird season.” This place is something to see. Each week they have all kinds of top entertainment.

Last night was Tony Orlando, who I only remember from my youth. For two hours, this almost 70-year-old joyful and energetic performer took an audience of over 1,000 excited, hand-clapping, singing-along people on a wild ride down memory lane with songs from the likes of the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Johnny Cash, James Taylor, and a wide variety of his own hits.

The level of joy it brought to all of us points to the long and fulfilling lives these seniors continue to lead even today, given the beautiful “wrinkle-fest” we all experienced. 🙂

Exercise:

Do your best today to turn your own frown (and other people’s) upside down, and start an even bigger wrinkle collection of your own.

“When furious, get curious.”

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“When furious, get curious.”

– Author Unknown

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Image from Flickr by isforinsects

It seems like there is a lot of anger in the world these days. Consider what you observe each day in such areas as our roadways, parking lots, social media, television – especially news programming – politics, the workplace, and even in our own homes.

How often are you the direct recipient of this anger? How often might you be a contributor to it?

Anger can be seen as the outcome of some triggered portion of our comfort zones, based on past experiences or events. The quote above is suggesting that instead of allowing the trigger to automatically generate an anger response, we enter a state of inquiring and curiosity to see what is behind this response – thus resulting in a more workable and peaceful solution.

Exercise:

Pay particular attention today when you observe yourself (and others) getting angry. Ask yourself one or more of the following questions to engage your inquiring mind and observe what happens:

  • What emotions and feelings am I experiencing right now?
  • What is occurring that is triggering these emotions?
  • When else has that occurred in the past, and what was the end result of my response?
  • What alternative responses are possible that will result in a more satisfactory outcome?

Consider picking up a copy of Susan Scott’s book Fierce Conversations to explore additional techniques that can assist you in similar situations.