If you run out of kind words for yourself stop talking

“If you run out of kind words for yourself stop talking.”

—Niklas Goke, Author of The Four Minute Millionaire

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Henry

We’ve all heard the phrase If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.

This concept has served me well over the years when it pertained to other people. It works well — except when eye rolls and our body language betray us.

Turning this idea on ourselves is bit more difficult. It seems impossible to stop our inner critics and an external speaker isn’t necessary to deliver the bad news.


How often do you catch yourself talking to yourself?

How kind or critical are you during these inner dialogues?

What positive triggers can you put in place to send a little more kindness your way?

Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act

“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”

—Leonard Cohen, late Canadian singer-songwriter

Image from Unsplash by Kyle Head

To what degree are you the person you want to be? Where do you see gaps that you wish to bridge in your personal or professional worlds?

Consider examining the lives of people you admire and respect within your various communities. What are others doing and achieving?

Examining the lives of people outside our communities and studying the biographies of remarkable people from the past can also provide clues to how we wish to live.


Where and how can you begin acting in the way you would like to be?

What specific behaviors have been modeled for you by others, to guide you to act the way you would like to be?

Friday Review: Self-Image


How has your self-image shifted over the last year? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.


“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”






“When science discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find they are not it.”





“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than your I.Q.”




“Accepting oneself does not preclude an attempt to become better.”

“Accepting oneself does not preclude an attempt to become better.”

—Mary Flannery O’Connor, 20th Century American writer

image from Unsplash by Giulia Bertelli

To what degree do you see yourself as a work in progress? Where in your world are you in action through daily baby steps (and the occasional giant leap) to realize a better future for yourself and others in your various communities?

Where does the concept of acceptance of yourself and those around you come into play with regard to leading a fulfilling life?

Where might embracing your own humanity and a bit less of the inner critic provide confidence in your potential to be that better version of yourself?


Where would you most benefit from greater self acceptance? In what areas of your life are you most committed to becoming better?

Feel free to reply to this post with your answers to these questions.

“Consumers don’t just want to understand the story…”

“Consumers don’t just want to understand the story. Increasingly they want to be part of it.”

—Robert Fabricant, Co-Founder/Partner, Dalberg Design

Image from Unsplash by freestocks.org

Storytelling is big business—very, very big business.

Consider all the products and services you use every day, and ask yourself: What’s their story? Or What is their Brand Message?

Perhaps what their story says about you is just as important, because you buy, consume, or use what they are selling.

Given the vast number of choices, most people want to make those that resonate with their personal beliefs and values.

Consider the choices you make that support being intelligent, popular, and having high status. Perhaps your choices are also healthy and good for the environment.


What is your story or brand? How would communicating your authentic life message attract more people who would like to be part of it?

“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than Your I.Q.”

“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than your I.Q.”

—Robin Sharma, Author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari series

Image of the book cover of "The Little Engine that Could"

The Little Engine that Could is an American fairy tale that became widely known in the 1930s. Through an online poll of teachers, The National Education Association rated it as one of the Top 100 books for children, because of its key message of the importance of optimism and hard work.

The story’s signature phrase, I Think I Can is a key memory I have from childhood on the importance of self belief and self determination. My wife Wendy and I did our best to instill this concept in both our children.


Where and with whom would a bunch more “I can” and “I know you can” statements support greater achievement and life satisfaction in your personal and professional communities?

Here is a short video if you wish to recapture the memory or share it with someone you love.

The Center of the Universe

“When science discovers the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to find they are not it.”

-Bernard Baily, DC Comic Book artist

Image of a nebulae

Image from nasa.gov

Early man believed that Earth was the center of everything, since they observed moons, planets, and stars revolving around it in the night sky. As science advanced, we learned that Earth is actually in an elliptical orbit around the sun.

With further advances in science⏤particularly in astronomy and astrophysics⏤we now know that we are a small speck on a small planet in a small solar system tucked away in the far corner of one out of two trillion galaxies in the universe.

And yet, many people believe they are the center of the universe, and that the world should somehow work out in whatever way they desire. History has clearly proven this idea ridiculously untrue, yet many still want to believe it.


How would seeing yourself and others as part of the oneness of all things provide you greater peace of mind and contentment? Consider the fact that we are all stardust, and that we have an important role to play in this infinite universe.

“We are always the same age inside.”

“We are always the same age inside.”

– Gertrude Stein, American writer

Image of mother and daughter jumping

Image from Flickr by mikebaird

As I write this, I’m  in Florida with my dad and wife. I can’t believe how much self-reflection I’m doing as I observe everyone going about life as seniors and in many cases super-seniors.

Social clubs and activities abound, and I feel as if I’m in what my wife Wendy refers to as “winter camp”! Of particular note is the level of youthful spirit I see in those around me as I go to the gym, play golf, go out for meals with friends, attend shows and even go out for frozen yogurt at my normal bedtime back home!

These people are still very much the same age inside – and though time has provided a number of bumps that may slow them down a bit, their youthful zest for life keeps them looking forward to each new day.


Examine how your own external image of yourself reflects of your internal age. What thoughts do you have daily that reflect a significantly younger you?

Consider taking the Real Age test to compare your chronological age to what they describe as your “real age.”

When I let go of what I am

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

– Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism

We all love to be right, to have the correct answer, to know the truth. We think we will then find clarity, stability, and even peace of mind. But what if in being “right” about ourselves we have defined ourselves into a safe and limited box?

Defining something limits it. Perhaps, instead, we could distinguish ourselves and open up the possibility of who we could be.


How and in what ways can you rediscover yourself, by releasing yourself from self-limiting beliefs?

If you find this difficult, ask a family member or a close friend for their perspective.