Thrones no matter how pretty have only room for one

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“Thrones, no matter how pretty, have only room for one.”

—Mark Nepo, author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by Nicholas Green

By the time this post reaches your inbox or social media feed, I have review it numerous times. My own reflection on this process points to the high percentage of these efforts directed towards one’s progress in our personal and professional communities.

Although I am all for the achievement of individual success somehow, I experience even more satisfaction and fulfillment when I’ve been a part of a group or team effort.

Consider sports as a good example. On the list below, notice the fan base of popularity of team sports.

There don’t seem to be many stadiums built for individual sporting events. We all like to be part of a winning endeavor, even if we never get on the field.

SPORT # of Fans SPORT # of Fans
Soccer/Football 4 billion Cricket 2.5 billion
Hockey 2 billion Volleyball 900 million
Basketball 825 million Baseball 500 million

EXERCISE:

Where are you engaged in an individual endeavor versus some form of group achievement?

Where is the “TEAM” concept of Together Everyone Achieves More truer for you?

What joyful thing would you do if this day was your last

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What joyful thing would you do if this day was your last?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Amazon

Various studies on achievement and success have demonstrated that one’s ability to delay gratification is significantly correlated with long term achievement.

You may have heard about the famous and somewhat controversial Stanford marshmallow experiment where preschool children were given the option of one marshmallow immediately or two tasty treats if they were willing to wait around 15 minutes.

Although debated due to various suggested biases, the individuals who delayed their immediate reward turned out to be higher achievers over the long run.

EXERCISE:

Where have you possibly taken delayed gratification too far in your own life?

What joyful experiences do you already regret missing?

Where might FOMO (fear of missing out) be a good thing?

Dan Pink’s newest book The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward may offer you some joyful strategies to make the most of your days ahead.

Friday Review: Strength

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Friday Review: STRENGTH

What are your strengths? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”

 

 

 

 

“Nothing has more strength than dire necessity.”

 

 

 

“He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skills. Our antagonist is our helper.”

 

 

 

 

 

You never conquer a mountain

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“You never conquer a mountain. You stand on the summit a few moments. Then the wind blows your footprints away.”

—Arlene Blum, American mountaineer, writer, and environmental health scientist

Image from Unsplash by Charlotte Karlsen

What personal and professional mountains have you climbed? How did you feel standing on their summits? How long did you remain at the top before returning to base camp? How long did you retain the sense of accomplishment before the inevitable let down from these peak experiences?

Over the past two years, I’ve noticed many people — including myself — experiencing a loss of excitement and vitality in their days. We seem to be climbing fewer mountains and many are seeing their paths blocked by various obstacles. The winds of change can often be in our faces and have blown many of our former footprints away.

EXERCISE:

Where is it time to strap on your boots to make some new footprints on the future mountains you seek to climb?

How will you fully embrace the journey and standing on the summit as you set forth on your next expedition?

Let tomorrow come tomorrow

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“Let tomorrow come tomorrow.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Brian McGowan

To what degree are you a clock watcher? How often do you check your watch, cell phone, wall clock, or your digital assistant to determine the time? When you do, how often are you seeing how much time is left before your next item on your schedule? How often do you determine how long you must wait until an upcoming event that you desire or dread?

A frequent example for many people is to check the time at night during what is supposed to be a restful night’s sleep. How often do you find yourself doing a bit of subtraction to determine how many hours and minutes before you must rise and hopefully shine to begin the day?

Hitting the pause button on today or fast forwarding to tomorrow are best used for your digital recording devices. How can you simply enjoy the show and savor the passage of time you have?

EXERCISE:

What alternative approaches and strategies can you employ to more fully experience your todays and let tomorrow come tomorrow?

It is good to have an end to journey toward

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“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”

—Ursula K. Le Guin, Late American speculative fiction author

Image from Unsplash by Neal E. Johnson

What are your most important goals for 2022? To what degree have you progressed toward them and how do you feel about your efforts?

How do you expect to feel when you reach the end of your journey and stand on the peaks of your achievements?  What then?

Another goal and then another. How is it possible to remain energized and not be let down soon after we actually hold the prize?

Numerous experts on personal and professional development suggest we focus on growth versus goals.  This shift in perspective supports us in gaining satisfaction from our efforts and milestones along our paths instead of just the pots of gold at our journey’s end.

EXERCISE:

Where would adopting a growth versus a goal mindset enhance your motivation, momentum, and levels of success?

Which small irritation are you ready to let slide

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Which small irritation are you ready to let slide? Why?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

In the early 90s, Thomas Leonard and Coach University were pioneering forces in the coaching industry. In his teaching and in his book, The Portable Coach, he introduced an exercise that involved reducing or eliminating the people and things in our lives that we were “putting up with.” He called them “tolerations.”

The exercise began with an inventory of the items in our world that occupied our minds and caused annoyance and dismay. The next step was to begin removing them one by one to free ourselves up to focus on more important people and things we welcomed and enjoyed.

EXERCISE:

Create a list of your own tolerations and remove or reduce the ones you can. If you are unable to do so, which are you willing to let slide? What will be the benefits when you do?

Friday Review: Uniqueness

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FRIDAY REVIEW: UNIQUENESS

What makes you unique? Here are a few uniqueness-related posts you may have missed.

“Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

 

 

 

“Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.”

 

 

 

“Be distinct or be extinct.”

 

 

 

 

 

The marvelous thing about a good question is that it shapes our identity as much by the asking as it does by answering

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“The marvelous thing about a good question is that it shapes our identity as much by the asking as it does by answering.”

—David Whyte, Anglo-Irish poet

Image from Unsplash by Hadija Saidi

What are some of the questions you have been asking yourself and others over the past couple of years?

As a lifelong learner, I marvel at the power and insights offered by provocative open-ended questions.  These tools dig below the surface of our day-to-day experiences to uncover new depths of understanding of one another and the world.

In the coaching profession we often say “let your questions do the heavy lifting.”  The surprising thing for me, based on Whyte’s quote, is that both parties can be shaped through these exchanges.

EXERCISE:

What are some of your favorite “stop you in your tracks” questions?

How have these questions shaped your identity and opened up pathways for you?

Two books I’ve found very useful on this subject are A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger and The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stainer.

Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it

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“Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it.”

—Hannah Arendt, 20th Century political philosopher, author, and Holocaust survivor

Image from Unsplash by Daniel Schludi

Wendy and I love going to the movies. Although we can now see thousands of films from a multitude of streaming services from home, somehow the big screen is how we most enjoy these stories.

We recently saw Death on The Nile based on Agatha Christie’s classic novel. The public rated this film considerably higher than the critics and we, too, were gripped by the twists and turns untangled by the famous Hercule Poirot. Great stories magically take us along for the ride without having to narrate everything we are supposed to see. Discovering many clues on our own and being our own sleuths is a big part of the fun.

EXERCISE:

How and where do you use storytelling to convey important messages and engage your audiences?

In what ways can you better reveal meaning without committing the error of defining it?

I enjoy the storytelling wisdom of Bernadette Jiwa. You can learn about her work at https://thestoryoftelling.com/