Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have of trying to change others.”

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“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have of trying to change others.”

—Jacob M. Braude, 20th Century Judge of the Illinois Circuit Court

Image from Unsplash by Edward Howell

How much time do you spend in your efforts to change others in your life? Consider your specific efforts with family members, friends, and professional colleagues. What is this process like, and how have these folks responded to your attempts to right their wrongs and see/do things your way?

Instead of putting all this effort into changing others, consider redirecting these energies into your own developmental pursuits to change yourself. Maybe your example of change and improvement will cause a positive ripple of change within others in your communities… or maybe not.

EXERCISE:

In what areas will you stop your efforts to change others in your life?

How and where can you then double down on your own efforts to change yourself for the better?

 

“With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, If I did not laugh I should die.”

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“With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, If I did not laugh I should die.”

—Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States

Abraham Lincoln, February 1865. Alexander Gardner/Library of Congress

Honest Abe, The Rail-Splitter, and The Great Emancipator were three nicknames given to Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States.

He is best known for his efforts to preserve the Union during the Civil War, and brought about the emancipation of enslaved people.

Unknown to many, Lincoln fought clinical depression all of his life, and if he were alive today, his condition would most likely be treated as a “character issue” and a finite political liability. Many believe that his own internal battle with many personal and political strains gave him the extraordinary character and will to accomplish all that he did.

EXERCISE:

Where and how does laughter and a sense of humor help you navigate your own fearful strains and rough seas of life?

How, like Lincoln, can you bring more of this essential resource into your own life, to help you achieve your own fullest potential?

“Do not allow idleness to deceive you; for what you give him today he steals tomorrow from you.”

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“Do not allow idleness to deceive you; for what you give him today he steals tomorrow from you.”

—Alfred Crowquill, 17th Century British author

Image from Unsplash by Adrian Swancar

How much idleness have you embraced over the past 15 months? Where did you — perhaps through no fault of your own — have your life turned upside down, stopping many of the professional and personal activities that kept you progressing forward?

Where have you observed the impact of unemployment, health challenges, and simply our need to be physically distant, as thieves who seem to keep stealing our todays and tomorrows?

EXERCISE:

Where and how have you rebounded into significant action in your personal and professional pursuits? How can you keep out the thieves of excessive idleness and low effort to never misuse a single moment of your precious life?

 

“One day I would like to turn on the news and hear, There’s Peace on Earth.”

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“One day I would like to turn on the news and hear, There’s Peace on Earth.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Dimitry Anikin

John Lennon’s “Imagine” is one of his best written and most powerful songs. Consider and contemplate the lyrics relative to today’s quote:

Imagine there’s no heaven / It’s easy if you try / No hell below us / Above us, only sky / Imagine all the people / Livin’ for today…

Imagine there’s no countries / It isn’t hard to do / Nothing to kill or die for / And no religion, too / Imagine all the people / Livin’ life in peace…

You may say I’m a dreamer / But I’m not the only one / I hope someday you’ll join us / And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions / I wonder if you can / No need for greed or hunger / A brotherhood of man / Imagine all the people / Sharing all the world…

You may say I’m a dreamer / But I’m not the only one / I hope someday you’ll join us / And the world will live as one.

EXERCISE:

What peaceful thoughts and actions can and will you bring into your world today? How can and will you influence others in your communities to join us so the world will live as one. 

CLICK HERE to see the video and hear the song.

Friday Review: Winning

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Friday Review: Winning

How do you define “winning”? Here are a few winning-related posts you may have missed.

“There is nobility in the struggle; you don’t have to win.”

 

 

 

“In order to have faith in his own path, a warrior does not need to prove that someone else’s path is wrong.”

 

 

“The man who runs may fight again.”

 

 

 

 

“When the eyes say one thing and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.”

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“When the eyes say one thing and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, 17th Century American essayist, philosopher, and poet

Image from Unsplash by Austin Human

There are a number of stories and legends behind Missouri’s sobriquet, “The Show Me State.”

The slogan, although not official, is commonly used throughout the state and is on Missouri’s license plates.

The most widely known legend attributes the phrase to Missouri’s Congressman, Willard Duncan Vandiver. In an 1899 speech, he declared:

“I come from a state that raises corn and cotton cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy eloquences neither convict nor satisfy me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me.”

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you be more of a practiced person who relies far more on the language of the eyes and not just those of the tongue?

 

“Always have old memories and young hopes.”

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“Always have old memories and young hopes.”

—Arsene Houssaye, 17th century French novelist

Image from Unsplash by Jon Tyson

We are moving. After 34 years in beautiful Michigan, we are moving back to our hometown of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, to be closer to family.

Recently, our two adult children — Daniel, 35, and Rachel, 33 — came to Wendy and my rescue for a week, helping us stage our home for sale. In the basement, we discovered tons of memories in the form of old toys, keepsakes, and virtually every homework assignment, report card, dance costume, and trophy they left behind.

Although a tear or two was shed reminiscing about the good times together, that week was filled with much youthful hope for the next phases of our lives.

EXERCISE:

Take some time this week to engage your family and friends in a trip down memory lane to rekindle some of your best times.

Open a dialogue about your individual and collective hopes for the future, which will provide you more happy times to reminisce over in the years ahead.

“Remove the mental candy from your environment.”

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“Remove the mental candy from your environment.”

—James Clear, author, entrepreneur, and photographer

Image from Unsplash by Amit Lahav

When was the last time you visited the dentist? If you are like many, the idea of opening your mouth for an hour and having someone  poking around in there seems foolhardy.

I’ve been even more diligent this past year in brushing and flossing, and have avoided popcorn with its frequent rock-hard kernels that are often the source of a dental emergency.

A few of us may even be cutting back on sweets but my guess is that with the need for comfort this year, both actual sweets and a few extra servings of mental candy may have caused some decay.

EXERCISE:

What sources of mental candy are most readily available in your environment? How can you avoid their enticing and addictive qualities by putting them out of reach or eliminating some completely?

“Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.”

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“Sometimes the things we can’t change end up changing us.”

—Author Unknown

I have referenced the Serenity Prayer — written by American theologian Reinhold Neibuhr (1892-1971) —numerous times over the 10 years of writing this blog.

Take another look at a popular version of it, given the year we’ve been through and your perspective on who you are today and what the future holds.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

How many times have you glanced over this saying, popularized in the Alcoholics Anonymous community? How does its wisdom resonate with you today?

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways have you changed this past year? In what ways are you far wiser and able to navigate life more serenely by acknowledging, allowing, and even accepting the circumstances and things you cannot change?

 

Friday Review: Motivation

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Friday Review: Motivation

To what degree are you self-motivated, situation-motivated, or motivated by others? Here are a few posts about motivation you may have missed.

 

“Plant the seeds of beautiful ideas in your mind and water them with belief and action.”

 

 

 

“When we do what we have to do we are compliant. When we do what we choose to do we are committed.”

 

 

 

“Work for a cause, not for applause.”