Tag Archives: Barry Demp

“Values are critical guides for making decisions. When in doubt, they cut through the fog like a beacon in the night.”

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“Values are critical guides for making decisions. When in doubt, they cut through the fog like a beacon in the night.”

—Robert Townsend (attrib.)

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Image from Flickr by briant87

I am reading A Lapsed Anarchist’s Approach to Building a Great Business, by Ari Weinzweig. He is the co-owner of Zingerman’s, located near the University of Michigan’s campus in Ann Arbor.

This book contains a wide variety of essays that show how Zingerman’s became what Bo Burlingham from Inc magazine refers to as “the coolest small company in America.”

Townsend’s quote speaks to the very heart of what makes Zingerman’s, with now over 500 employees, a great place to eat and work.

Exercise:

Google Zingerman’s to do a bit of research into how their values guide their decisions and why they are famous for “the Zingerman experience.” You can even use their mail-order business at zingermancommunity.com to get a literal taste for yourself.

“We are always the same age inside.”

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“We are always the same age inside.”

– Gertrude Stein, American writer

Image of mother and daughter jumping

Image from Flickr by mikebaird

As I write this, I’m  in Florida with my dad and wife. I can’t believe how much self-reflection I’m doing as I observe everyone going about life as seniors and in many cases super-seniors.

Social clubs and activities abound, and I feel as if I’m in what my wife Wendy refers to as “winter camp”! Of particular note is the level of youthful spirit I see in those around me as I go to the gym, play golf, go out for meals with friends, attend shows and even go out for frozen yogurt at my normal bedtime back home!

These people are still very much the same age inside – and though time has provided a number of bumps that may slow them down a bit, their youthful zest for life keeps them looking forward to each new day.

Exercise:

Examine how your own external image of yourself reflects of your internal age. What thoughts do you have daily that reflect a significantly younger you?

Consider taking the Real Age test to compare your chronological age to what they describe as your “real age.”

“When furious, get curious.”

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“When furious, get curious.”

– Author Unknown

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Image from Flickr by isforinsects

It seems like there is a lot of anger in the world these days. Consider what you observe each day in such areas as our roadways, parking lots, social media, television – especially news programming – politics, the workplace, and even in our own homes.

How often are you the direct recipient of this anger? How often might you be a contributor to it?

Anger can be seen as the outcome of some triggered portion of our comfort zones, based on past experiences or events. The quote above is suggesting that instead of allowing the trigger to automatically generate an anger response, we enter a state of inquiring and curiosity to see what is behind this response – thus resulting in a more workable and peaceful solution.

Exercise:

Pay particular attention today when you observe yourself (and others) getting angry. Ask yourself one or more of the following questions to engage your inquiring mind and observe what happens:

  • What emotions and feelings am I experiencing right now?
  • What is occurring that is triggering these emotions?
  • When else has that occurred in the past, and what was the end result of my response?
  • What alternative responses are possible that will result in a more satisfactory outcome?

Consider picking up a copy of Susan Scott’s book Fierce Conversations to explore additional techniques that can assist you in similar situations.

Take Another Step

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“If you take another step, and another, you will be surprised to know how far you can go from the point you thought was the end.”

– Marc and Angel, personal development writers

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Image from Flickr by Bods

Whether it’s taking one more step or going the extra mile, the power of persistence is without question a key to success. Being persistent helps build self-confidence. Once you know you can make it through one struggle, you’re more likely to take that next step in other areas of your life.

A good friend once told me that what stops most people is … stopping. What if we simply didn’t buy in to a life of ease and convenience, and tapped into our own personal grit and character to keep going, stay the course, and finish strong on those things that matter most?

Exercise:

What issues, challenges or struggles are you currently facing that would most benefit from taking the next step and then another until you arrive victorious?

“Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction.”

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“Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction.”

—Author Unknown

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Image from Flickr by epSos.de

Here in Michigan we pay particular attention to the weather. January was the snowiest in history and the temperatures were as cold as I’ve ever experienced. The weather forecast includes a metric called “wind chill” or “the wind chill factor, which is a combination of the actual temperature along with the wind speed, to provide a measure of how cold it actually feels.

Today we are all experiencing the winds of cultural and political change at a far brisker pace – personally, professionally, and perhaps even globally.

Exercise:

In the coming days, how can you either lean into or go with the winds of change to find your true direction? Consider the possibility of adding your own breeze to sweep you toward your destiny.

“Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity…”

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“Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

—Don Miguel Ruiz, Mexican spiritualist author

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Image from Flickr by Brisbane City Council

We have all heard the phrase “the pen is mightier than the sword.” Our words have the power to tear down and destroy – or in the case of truth and love, to bring the world together.

We rarely hear the word “impeccable”. It points to an exemplary standard of excellence seldom seen today, and yet it can be the basis of character that we can all aspire to (and choose to follow in our leaders).

Unfortunately, more often than not, we see only rare glimpses of this impeccability – and even then, the actions we observe fall short of the mark. Take heart, however, in the fact that truth and love are two of the most powerful forces in humanity, and that fundamentally, we all strive for them every day, despite our shortcomings.

Exercise:

How can you and will you raise your own standard of impeccability of your word to forge all the wondrous benefits that truth and love provide?

A simple way to begin is with a promise you make to yourself and others. Feel free to let me know your intentions in this area and the results which you discover.

Hope is a good breakfast

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“Hope is a good breakfast but it is a bad supper.”

– Francis Bacon, English philosopher

Image of coffee and pastry breakfast

Image from Flickr by Kathryn Yengel

Starting each day with a hopeful mindset is very important – just as many nutritionists indicate that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

If hope, however, is all we have to keep us going, we’ll feel that grumbling sound in our stomachs at supper time.

Exercise:

What other factors constitute the meals and fuel that keep you going throughout your day, to move you from hopeful intentions in the morning toward goal realization by bedtime?

Wait for the answer

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“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

– William S. Burroughs, American writer

468Image from Flickr by anieto2k.

One of my favorite phrases about coaching is “coaches let their questions do the heavy lifting.” If this is true – and I assert that it is – then we can all coach others, be coached by others, and even coach ourselves. We need only ask the right questions, then relax as our answers reveal themselves.

It is through this personal inquiry that our question-answering muscles do the work and allow us to grow and evolve.

Exercise:

What one or two important questions do you need to ask and answer for yourself today?

clocks stop

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“There are people whose clocks stop at a certain point in their lives.”

– Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve, French literary critic

463Image from Flickr by oatsy40.

As I sit in my favorite chair writing this, it’s Sunday February 2nd. That’s right, it’s Groundhog Day.

But I’m not referring to that little furry creature, Punxsutawney Phil, or whether he saw his shadow. Instead, I want to describe the movie Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray, which is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me.

If you’ve not seen the (ahem) “masterpiece,” the moral of the story is that until Phil Connors (Bill Murray) changes his ways, he will be destined to live a life that is making him a bit insane by being the same person he’s always been before – i.e. his clock has stopped.

Exercise:

How can you put a fresh battery in your life clock to make the very most of the time remaining to live life to its fullest?

“With brains, heart and courage, you can achieve anything you desire.”

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“With brains, heart and courage, you can achieve anything you desire.”

—Inspired by the Wizard of Oz

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Image from Flickr by twm1340

When I was a young boy, my family loved The Wizard of Oz. This movie, with its black and white to vivid color transition, amazed all of us with both the images and the compelling story.

If it’s one of your favorites too, you will recall Dorothy’s journey along with the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion to reach the great and powerful Wizard of Oz.

Of course the story line also involves the Scarecrow discovering his brain, the Tin Man finding his heart, and the Lion embracing his courage.

Exercise:

What habits and practices can you develop and undertake in order to fully use your brain, heart and courage to fully achieve your greatest desires?