Look for Rainbows

Posted on December 8, 2015 by Barry

“When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars.”

-Author Unknown

photo from Flickr by Matthew Paulson

I often recommend Six Thinking Hats by Edward Debono to my coaching clients. This book can help them become more effective and successful in their personal and professional communities.

Based on today’s quote, the rain and the dark would represent the wearing of a black hat, which points to the negative, and why things are not working.

Wearing a yellow hat, which is represented by the rainbows and stars, points to the positive, optimistic, and constructive perspective relative to one’s circumstances.

Looking for and perceiving the good and workable possibilities in things is without question a skill that will bring you far greater results and life satisfaction than walking around in the dark, all wet.

EXERCISE:

Share this post with one person in your professional and personal worlds. Ask them for feedback regarding how often — or not — you look for the beauty of the rainbows and stars above. If they are open to your coaching, you may offer your view of which hats they wear, as well.

Make yourself worth knowing

Posted on November 24, 2015 by Barry

“Don’t worry so much about knowing the right people. Just make yourself worth knowing.”

–Author Unknown

A number of years ago I read a book by Dr. Wayne Baker from the University of Michigan titled Achieving Success Through Social Capital. A key take-away from this well-researched book was that, without question, relationships are valuable.

We have all heard phrases such as, It’s not what you know, but who you know, that counts, pointing to the power of being connected to these centers of influence and super-connectors. One challenge with the advent of social media and the huge demands it puts on our time is that getting to know the “right people” can be difficult.

Today’s quote suggest that instead of the old push or pursuit strategy to meet these individuals, we instead work on ourselves to attract and pull people to us and the value they perceive we provide.

EXERCISE:

What one or two qualities or abilities could you more fully develop in yourself to make yourself an even more desirable person worth knowing?

“Life always offers you…”

Posted on October 23, 2015 by Barry

“Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called ‘tomorrow.’”

-Author Unknown

image from xoombi.com

I’d like you to consider reading today’s quote twice.

Consider for the moment that today is one of the most important days of your life. Everyone important to you watches intently as you give it your all. If you are also a spiritual or faith-based person, know that your “higher power” is paying close attention as well.

Fast forward to the end of the day. Review the quote again and reflect on how you lived your day and the difference you made. Answer the question in today’s exercise before you head off to sleep.

EXERCISE:

What second-chance efforts will I make tomorrow, based on what I discovered and learned today?

“Respect yourself enough to walk away…”

Posted on September 23, 2015 by Barry

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”

-Robert Tew, Australian, Chairman at Newcastle Knights Limited

Image from Flickr by Oleg Sidorenko

Today’s quote is a pretty good barometer for progressing in life. Mr. Tew calls on us to fully open our eyes and hearts to determine what is and is not working at this point in time.

Take the opportunity to dig deeply into the ideas of service, growth, and happiness to not take the simple way out of your evolving self. Then, and only, then, make a beeline for the door!

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional life is it time to walk away from certain people, events, or circumstances, in order to gain greater self-respect?

“Don’t let anyone rent…”

Posted on September 9, 2015 by Barry

“Don’t let anyone rent a space in your head, unless they’re a good tenant.”

—Author Unknown

image from runningisfunny.com

Self-talk is a powerful thing.

It can inspire us to achieve greatness or stop us in our tracks and affect all aspects of our lives.

Where and when did you first notice your own internal monologues? Who in your past or present life is responsible for this programming?

EXERCISE:

What negative voices have taken residence in your head? How can you begin the eviction process, put up the “for rent” sign, and encourage a more supportive and empowering tenant?

“The Biggest Room…”

Posted on May 11, 2015 by Barry

“The biggest room in my house is the room for improvement.”

—Irma Givens, Detroit-area Communications Specialist

Photo from Flicrk by Phil King

Imagine that you have a second career as an interior designer or architect. Instead of building materials, paints, fabrics, and furniture, you have other tools to beautify your “room for improvement.”

One of my favorite exercises I use with clients to support their personal development planning is having them describe their best future self. As a starting point, I have them examine the qualities and positive characteristics of the people they most respect and admire. They also have the opportunity to take an objective view of themselves regarding the personal habits or behaviors that hold them back from being their best.

EXERCISE:

Consider developing your own “personal improvement plan,” and give yourself plenty of room for this growth. Select a growth partner, mentor, coach, or other supportive person who will encourage you, and even hold your feet to the fire to help you be your best future self. You, in turn, can be a coach and support partner for them.

“My life needs editing.”

Posted on April 7, 2015 by Barry

“My life needs editing.”

—Mort Sahl, Canadian-born American comedian and actor

Photo from Flickr by Matt Hampel

Have you ever considered writing your autobiography?

If you did, how many people would lay down some cash to buy it? What if you handed out copies for free? How many people would spend the time to read it?

If your answers fall short of producing a best seller, perhaps your life—at least the life still ahead of you—could use a bit of editing.

EXERCISE:

Examine the lives of those you respect and admire as a place to begin writing and living the next chapter of your life. Make sure you use your most playful, adventurous, and creative thinking to build on and expand on the good things you see.

You can also do a bit of editing on the life you have already lived. One simple way to do this is to replace all setbacks and failures in the light of lessons learned.

Feel free to reply to the post with any thoughts and insights that come up for you.

“Be there for others but never leave yourself behind.”

Posted on September 22, 2014 by Barry

“Be there for others but never leave yourself behind.”

-Author unknown

Photo from TopPilotTraining.com

Examine all the roles you currently hold in your personal and professional worlds. If you are like many people, you may have to use toes as well as your fingers to count everything.

In what percent of these roles are you serving and supporting others? If you find the number approaching 80, 90, or even 100 percent, consider how much energy you have at days end for the most important person in your life – YOU!

There is wisdom in the flight attendant pre-flight instruction:  Please put on your own oxygen mask before you assist others.

EXERCISE:

Take some time today to be a bit more “Self-ISH” (not selfish) by taking care of your own well-being and not leaving yourself behind, so that you can be your very best as you serve the people and organizations in your community.

What Weighs You Down

Posted on May 12, 2014 by Barry

“It is hard to fly when something is weighing you down.”

– Unknown

My health club is one of the largest in the region. It includes all the regular exercise facilities you might expect, plus some extras such as tennis courts, basketball courts, swimming pools, and even a climbing wall.

I’ve noticed some of the fittest and most competitive athletes adding extra weights to their ankles or waists, to weigh themselves down and make their normal athletic efforts even more difficult.

When they remove them and are no longer weighted down, they experience a lightness and an added strength that lets them fly a bit higher and further.

Exercise:

Identify the circumstances and issues that weigh you down.

How can you use these personal and professional challenges as a resource to build your capacity to fly once you remove them completely from your life?

If a man does his best, what else is there

Posted on September 30, 2013 by Barry

“If a man does his best, what else is there?”

—George S. Patton, U.S. General in World War II

Image from Unsplash by Kolleen Gladden

We live in a highly competitive society in which winning seems to be all that matters, in so many areas of our lives. Just look at sports, business, and even politics. However, if we examine how often any one individual or organization wins, we are often surprised at the modest or even low percentages.

This pursuit of winning and the pursuit of the perfect outcome leaves far too many of us falling short, often with negative views of ourselves and others.

Exercise:

Be your best self today and all this week, and use that as the only standard you measure yourself against.

Don’t be surprised by how great you feel, and by the considerable results you produce.