Relationship over Ego

“Apologizing doesn’t always mean you’re wrong, and the other person is right. It means you value your relationship more than your ego.”

-Author Unknown

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Image from

I distinctly remember my first argument with my wife Wendy, during our first year of marriage. Our dispute centered on how to wash dishes. The bottom line for me, at the time, was that she was clearly doing it wrong. I had evidence to make my case to anyone who took a logical approach to things.

To make a long story short, I slept (or should I say didn’t sleep?) on the couch that night.

In the morning, Wendy shared a nugget of wisdom that I still remember and use today:

“Are you more committed to being right, or being related?”


Where and in what ways are you making those you care about wrong? Where would an apology demonstrate that you value your relationship more than your ego?

Make a New Decision

“Help someone make a new decision, based on new alternatives, and a new story.”

-Seth Godin, American author & entrepreneur

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One of the few bloggers I read each day without fail is Seth Godin. He has been consistently blogging for over two decades, and has one of the highest readerships worldwide. Beyond his amazing dependability are his thought-provoking and brilliant perspectives on many ordinary things about life, success, and making a difference. Take a bit of coaching and check out his work at

Today’s quote is perfect for this time of year, as we all resolve to be a better version of ourselves. Godin suggests that when we take on the role of coach, mentor, or advisor to others, we help them make new, powerful value-based decisions that come from the story they wish to tell next year at this time.

One wonderful by-product of playing this role for others is that it is almost impossible to not reap extraordinary benefits in your own life. Givers Gain.


Select at least one person from your personal and professional worlds to coach, mentor, or advice regarding their decision and the new stories they wish to tell next year.

“Never put off for tomorrow…”

“Never put off for tomorrow what you can cancel.”

—Darren Hardy, Publisher of Success Magazine

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Time management is perhaps the most universal issue facing the majority of clients seeking the support of a coach.

Who hasn’t read books and blogs, or attended at least a few workshops or seminars on time management?

The proverbial “to do list” has killed more trees, or now takes up a good deal of our hard drives, with no end in sight! Unfortunately, the more we add to these lists the “behinder” many of us feel.


Today is the day I’d like you to take out your red pens and scissors, or use your backspace and delete keys to literally cancel things from your list. This powerful act of saying “NO” once and for all to certain tasks will be challenging at first. This is due to our habit of dragging the weight of the world around. Select and cancel at least one task, meeting, or other commitment each day this week. Eventually you will get to the point where many items never make it to your list in the first place.

“Do something today that…”

“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.”

– Author Unknown

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Photo from

When you look around at the people in your professional and personal lives, what percent appear to be focused, or even addicted, to immediate gratification?

It seems to many that the percentages have gone up in recent years, given the advances in technology. There is a bit more impatience circulating in our society. Rarely, however, do the sweetest fruits of our labors come from limited efforts.


Look at your life 5, 10, or 20 years from now. What level of accomplishment would satisfy or even delight you?

What significant actions can—and will—you take today, to help you realize the future you desire?

“The life you have led doesn’t…”

“The life you have led doesn’t need to be the only life you have.”

—Anna Quindlen, American author and journalist

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One of my favorite movies is Ground Hog Day with Bill Murray. I always laugh as he lives February 2nd over and over again.

Through countless chances, he tends to make many of the same mistakes over and over, which leaves him in the same place as the previous day.

Eventually, he learns that his future can be altered for the better.  By choosing actions that are consistent with his commitment, he takes new and better actions that lead him to a different future, where in the end, of course, he “gets the girl.”


Take the time today to examine the life you have lived and determine what you wish to continue and what you wish to change. Select a close friend, family member, mentor, or coach to examine what you discover. Consider developing a plan over at least 90 days, to make the coming years more fulfilling and remarkable.

“Whatever you want to do…”

“Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”

—Michael Landon, American actor, writer, director, and producer

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If you were born today and knew you would live to be 82 years old, you would have approximately 30,000 tomorrows. That you are an adult reading this post means you probably have a fairly large number of yesterdays behind you.

Many of us get caught up in the daily flow of life where weekends and vacations become the primary times we do more of what we want to do. Doing the things we love each and every day of the week, including our vocations, enriches our lives and the world even more, bringing a new level of growth and satisfaction to all of our “tomorrows.”


Create a mini professional and personal bucket list just for this week or this month. Take Michael Landon’s coaching and get started immediately.

Feel free to comment on this post or email me with the actions you are taking.

“Instead of wondering when…”

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”

-Seth Godin, American author, entrepreneur, marketer, and public speaker

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The point of today’s quote is the main reason I am a coach today. Over 23 years ago, when I was working in sales and marketing for a well-known pharmaceutical company, I realized my inner voice was saying things like:

  • Thank God it’s Friday!
  • I don’t want to wake up and go to work!
  • When will this be over?
  • I can’t wait to go on vacation!
  • Oh, No! Monday is coming!

Of course, I’m being a bit dramatic. Still, as many as 70% of working professionals feel and say similar things to themselves and perhaps to others in their lives.


Should you see yourself or others in the thoughts above, find the courage to challenge yourself to redesign your life and career. You may find yourself looking forward to getting home from vacation, so you can get back to the exciting life you have designed.

Feel free to reach out to me if I can be of assistance. Write to me at:

“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face…”

“One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.”

—Author Unknown

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Today’s quote reminds me of an excellent little book by Seth Godin titled “The Dip.” The subtitle is: “A little book that teaches you when to quit and when to stick.”

Godin believes that winners quit quickly, often, and without guilt, until they discover the right DIP, worth beating for the right reasons. They realize that the bigger the barrier, the bigger the reward for sticking and getting beyond it.

He further demonstrates that people who lose fail to stick out their DIPS when they quit at the moment of truth—or they simply never discover the right DIP to conquer.


Consider picking up a copy of “The DIP” to discover for yourself whether you should stay the course or summon the courage to quite sooner or more often.

“Create each day anew.”

“Create each day anew.”

—Morihei Ushiba, founder of the Japanese martial art of aikido

Photo from Flickr by Kevin Simpson

Photo from Flickr by Kevin Simpson

When I was a young child, Etch-a-Sketch was one of my favorite toys.

You could draw almost anything just by twisting the two knobs at the bottom.

Imagine for a moment that your professional and personal life was created anew each morning, and that overnight someone or some power would shake it to clean the slate for the new day.

I am sure that with today’s technology there are many far more advanced toys and tools to create whatever you wish—perhaps in color or three dimensions.


How can you design your commitments and vision for a better future for yourself and those around you, to live each day as a masterpiece?

“Life is like an elevator. On your way up…”

“Life is like an elevator. On your way up, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off.”

– Author Unknown

Phot from Flicker by Lars Kristian Flem

Phot from Flicker by Lars Kristian Flem

Virtually everyone entering a coaching relationship desires a new and better future, and finds it difficult to achieve their goals on their own, or wants to speed up the process.

Often, through coaching, they discover internal and external barriers that limit or block their success. External barriers can include critical personal or professional relationships that don’t support the journey, and those that sabotage or stop the progress altogether.


Take a moment to consider if there are people in your life that need to be let off your “life elevator.” How can you take this important step and do it courteously and respectfully?