Friday Review: Friendship
What does it mean to be and have a friend? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.
“Probably the most neglected friend you have is you.”
“When people are like each other, they tend to like each other.”
You don’t find your ground by looking for stability
“You don’t find your ground by looking for stability. You find your ground by relaxing into instability.”
—Cory Muscara, founder of the Long Island Center for Mindfulness
Image from Unsplash by Dominik Jirovský
Have you ever gone camping and had to sleep on the ground? Perhaps you were invited to a sleepover as a kid and the floor was all that was available.
How soft or firm is your current mattress? What qualities of this most important piece of furniture do you value most?
Do you recall the years of the water bed craze? As a proud early adopter, I still recall the initial instability and the “motion of the ocean” when we first rolled in each evening.
EXERCISE:
Where would relaxing into areas of instability in your life help you discover the stability you seek?
What pleasure and fun might be available if you simply learned to go with the flow more often?
When you are young, you have raw smarts
“When you are young, you have raw smarts; when you are old, you have wisdom.”
—Arthur C. Brooks, Harvard professor, PhD social scientist, bestselling author
Image from Unsplash by Jordan Whitt
I agree with today’s quote in most cases, especially for individuals with a growth mindset and a propensity toward lifelong learning.
The pursuit of knowledge and experience takes time.
Raw smarts and wisdom build at different rates.
Consider a heavy rain as it fills a puddle versus years of rain carving a river’s path.
EXERCISE:
How has your growth and development journey evolved over the years?
Where and how have you stepped beyond acquiring raw smarts to embracing the gift of wisdom?
Live in the good of each conversation
“Live in the good of each conversation.”
—Sue Heatherington, author of Quiet Disruptors: Creating Change Without Shouting
Image from Unsplash by Alexis Brown
Every so often I come across the work of someone that touches something deep inside. On occasion, I post comments and write to them directly with my thoughts, and to establish a type of dialogue.
With Sue Heatherington, I took an additional step and requested an actual conversation over Zoom, which she kindly accepted.
After our 70-minute conversation, we both felt we were just getting started. We intend to speak again in the coming months, and will undoubtedly discover much more good in these conversations.
EXERCISE:
Please investigate Sue’s remarkable work at sueheatherington.com. Perhaps reach out and connect with someone like her in your online communities, to live in the good of a future conversation.
Make a pact with yourself
Make a pact with yourself. It is up to you to see it through.
—Calm App Reflection
Image from Unsplash by Elise Storsul
It is common to promise others what we intend to do. Giving and keeping our word is fundamental to the establishment of trust.
How impeccable are you with your word when it involves others? How trustworthy are you when these promises are made with yourself?
Consider the words promise, commitment, vow, and pledge as alternatives to the word pact.
Which if any do your find the most empowering and inspiring to help you see things through?
EXERCISE:
Where and on what matter is it time to make a pact with yourself?
How might you also engage others to support your efforts to fulfill this commitment?
Friday Review: Problem-Solving
Friday Review: Problem-Solving
What strategies do you employ in problem-solving? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.
“You cannot dream yourself into a character, you must hammer and forge yourself into one.”
“Don’t cut strings when you can untie knots.”
“Fall in love with the problem, not the solution.”
The past and future are in the mind only
“The past and future are in the mind only — I am now.”
—Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, 20th Century Indian Guru
Image from Unsplash by Shantung Kulkarni
Being fully present in all the “now’s” of life is hard to do. If we work at it and practice mindfulness though meditation and other methods, we can improve our odds of success.
Our awareness of our leaps into the past and the future is the stuff of TV show, movies, and sci-fi books. It seems like time travel is a pretty interesting theme for entertaining ourselves.
The fact that our minds can be found bouncing back and forth moment-to moment throughout the day proves this point.
EXERCISE:
What would be the benefit of going a little out of your mind to be in the “now” of life on a more consistent basis?
Speech is a very important aspect of being human
“Speech is a very important aspect of being human. A whisper doesn’t cut it.”
—James Earl Jones, American actor and voice of Darth Vader
Image from Unsplash by Julien Backhaus
What are some of the most important qualities of an outstanding leader? What are the factors that have people follow them in their personal, professional, or civic communities?
Who are the leaders — past and present — that you most admire? What actions do and did they take to enroll and engender others?
Today’s quote clearly offers a key answer: Fundamental to a leader’s role is to speak about the future they envision, and gain buy-in to these futures from others.
Given this perspective, leadership is not limited to just the famous or powerful. It is a quality we all can apply daily to live the dreams we dream.
EXERCISE:
How often and where do you speak up to share your vision for the future?
Where would it be beneficial to raise the volume on the whispering voices within to tell the world where you stand?
You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and Chapstick
“You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and Chapstick on their hero’s journey.”
—Anne Lamott, American writer, political activist, and writing teacher
Image from Unsplash by Kelly Sikkema
What are your thoughts about being a good parent? If you happen to be blessed with little ones of your own — even if they are fully grown — I am sure you have plenty to share!
Examine how you interacted with them at different ages. How protective were you in their infant and toddler years? How did things stay the same or change as they got older and exerted increased independence? To what degree did you keep them in bubble wrap or let them out of their packaging to experience the world on their own?
EXERCISE:
In what ways do your current parenting strategies support your children in becoming all they can be?
What adjustments may be appropriate for them to fully discover and develop their inner hero?
There are very few things as fulfilling as a conversation with another soul
There are very few things as fulfilling as a conversation with another soul.
—Calm App Reflection
Image from Unsplash by Aarón Blanco Tejedor
When was the last time you had a soulful conversation? Who was it with? What did you discuss? What was your experience of time and your level of engagement?
If you are like many people, you experience primarily surface conversations that appear like glancing blows with most people.
We are so busy running from here to there looking at our schedules for what’s next that we have habituated a “sound bite” life.
EXERCISE:
Set up a block of time with at least one person this week for a soulful conversation.
Keep things open-ended and fluid, with limited distractions.
Consider including, coffee, tea or even a homemade meal to add to your mutual enjoyment.
Feel free to let me know how things go.