Make a New Decision

Posted on December 28, 2015 by Barry

“Help someone make a new decision, based on new alternatives, and a new story.”

-Seth Godin, American author & entrepreneur

Image from sethgodin.com

One of the few bloggers I read each day without fail is Seth Godin. He has been consistently blogging for over two decades, and has one of the highest readerships worldwide. Beyond his amazing dependability are his thought-provoking and brilliant perspectives on many ordinary things about life, success, and making a difference. Take a bit of coaching and check out his work at http://sethgodin.typepad.com/.

Today’s quote is perfect for this time of year, as we all resolve to be a better version of ourselves. Godin suggests that when we take on the role of coach, mentor, or advisor to others, we help them make new, powerful value-based decisions that come from the story they wish to tell next year at this time.

One wonderful by-product of playing this role for others is that it is almost impossible to not reap extraordinary benefits in your own life. Givers Gain.

EXERCISE:

Select at least one person from your personal and professional worlds to coach, mentor, or advice regarding their decision and the new stories they wish to tell next year.

Things You Have

Posted on December 23, 2015 by Barry

“Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Alvanman

With Black Friday behind us and the Christmas holiday just days away, a great deal of attention is being devoted to consumerism and asking our Santa’s for the things we desire.

About ten years ago, my wife Wendy and I took a very special vacation to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We made a practical budgetary decision, and promised to forgo purchasing additional gifts for one another.

When the holidays arrived, I was shocked to see wrapped packages from my wife sitting by the fireplace. I began to get upset, thinking she had broken her promise. With an elfish smile, Wendy simply said“Yes, I know what we promised,” and asked me to open the gifts.

To my pleasant surprise, inside those packages were some of my favorite possessions⏤things I already owned and loved. Opening the packages caused me to remember how much I enjoyed them!

EXERCISE:

How can you take greater satisfaction in the things you already have, rather than things you want or even receive? Consider paying particular attention to non-material items.

When You Die

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Barry

“What if when you die, they ask: How was Heaven?”

-Author Unknown

Image from www.telegraph.co.uk

Close your eyes and imagine how heaven would look and feel. Take your time, explore all the vivid colors and inspiration beauty of this Utopian world.

Now imagine that you are a friendly alien visiting the earth for the first time, viewing this beautiful blue, green, and white world.

What if Earth were heaven? What if we were all too unaware to appreciate what was right in front of us all along?

EXERCISE:

Assume a “Heaven on Earth” attitude all day today, and consider sharing your thoughts with those you care about, or simply capturing your perspective in a journal or notebook.

Everyone you meet

Posted on December 11, 2015 by Barry

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

-Wendy Mass, Author

Image from flickr by Jennifer

One of the great honors of being a coach is the fact that people open up far more completely than in your typical daily discussions. It is not uncommon for clients to share some of their most difficult and challenging issues, because they realize a greater likelihood of progress is possible when they acknowledge their difficulties.

My experience of over 20 years and well over 1,000 clients points to the fact that virtually everyone has battles and burdens.

EXERCISE:

How would bringing greater kindness and compassion to your interactions today bring greater strength and capacities to those around you, who are fighting battles of which you are not aware?

Be a Zapper

Posted on December 10, 2015 by Barry

“Be a Zapper, not a Sapper!”

—William Byham, Ph.D.

QC #922

Over my many years of coaching, I’ve found that the more simple an idea or behavior is, the more likely it is to be understood, applied, and habituated. When it comes to relationship development and creating empowering successful organizational cultures, today’s quote packs a ton of value in only six words.

The act of Zapping involves interaction with others in an energizing and positive manner. Examples are:

Being genuinely interested in others
Listening carefully and completely to what others are saying
Being open and receptive to the point of view of others
Looking for value in what others say and do
Saying Please and Thank You
Acknowledging the contribution of others

The act of Sapping involves the opposite behavior, in which others experience draining and energy-reducing interactions. Examples are:

Being judgmental and critical of others’ ideas and behaviors
Not listening to others, or ignoring them
Taking credit for others ideas or achievements
Interrupting, or not allowing others to express their views
Gossiping
Betrayal of confidences
Lying or being unethical

EXERCISE:

Create a Zapping/Sapping log book in which you can capture these daily energy boosters or drainers.

Request feedback from those around you. Work to increase your Zapping, and reduce your Sapping.

Consider picking up a copy of Zapp! The Lightning of Empowerment by William Byham, and consider sharing this resource with others in your communities.

Look for Rainbows

Posted on December 8, 2015 by Barry

“When it rains, look for rainbows. When it’s dark, look for stars.”

-Author Unknown

photo from Flickr by Matthew Paulson

I often recommend Six Thinking Hats by Edward Debono to my coaching clients. This book can help them become more effective and successful in their personal and professional communities.

Based on today’s quote, the rain and the dark would represent the wearing of a black hat, which points to the negative, and why things are not working.

Wearing a yellow hat, which is represented by the rainbows and stars, points to the positive, optimistic, and constructive perspective relative to one’s circumstances.

Looking for and perceiving the good and workable possibilities in things is without question a skill that will bring you far greater results and life satisfaction than walking around in the dark, all wet.

EXERCISE:

Share this post with one person in your professional and personal worlds. Ask them for feedback regarding how often — or not — you look for the beauty of the rainbows and stars above. If they are open to your coaching, you may offer your view of which hats they wear, as well.

Build a Bridge

Posted on November 25, 2015 by Barry

“Cry a river, build a bridge, get over it.”

—Author Unknown

Image from landscapesofunderstanding.com

For most people I work with as a coach, life is difficult, challenging, and often upsetting from time to time. Some are so stuck or stopped that they can hardly see any path forward.

During these times, feelings run high and the “emotional tension” they experience as part of their current reality must be acknowledged fully so they can cry the rivers that are appropriate. Only then can they collect themselves to realize that life goes on. Building bridges to the future is now the job at hand, to realize their resolve and get on the other side of life’s barriers and obstacles.

EXERCISE:

How can you fully acknowledge and experience all the emotions associated with some of your most significant challenges? How can you use that wisdom to garner the strength and capacities to build bridges and get over situations on your life journey?

Learning to Overlook

Posted on November 20, 2015 by Barry

“Wisdom is learning what to overlook.”

—William James, American philosopher and psychologist

The first book I ever read by Robin Sharma was The Monk who Sold His Ferrari. It is an amusing and insightful story of a hard-driving attorney, determined to win every case and annihilate his opposition while he reaps the material rewards of success. As you may guess from the title, he experiences various life events that literally stop him in his tracks, and had him re-evaluate his life from a new perspective. He begins to seek a life of greater meaning and significance.

EXERCISE:

What issues, obstacles, life complexities, and other barriers are you facing that would be better overlooked?

Patience

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Barry

“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, lecturer, and poet

Image from heyjamie.com

What is the current pace of your life? If you are like many, it’s busy, rushed, in overdrive, or even hyper-drive. You may find yourself eating fast or convenience foods on the run, skipping meals altogether, or getting a boost from coffee and caffeinated energy drinks. Or just as damaging, you may be missing out on the rest and exercise your body needs to reach and maintain optimal health.

What results would be possible if you took a more patient approach to life and your top priorities? What items on your to-do list could you reduce or eliminate, to make room for a more patient and peaceful flow in your life?

EXERCISE:

What steps can and will you take to achieve a more natural and patient pace throughout your day?

How can you make this practice a daily habit?

A new book that will definitely help you progress in these areas is On Target Living, by Chris Johnson.

Is the Glass Half Empty

Posted on November 6, 2015 by Barry

“People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.”

—simon sinek, speaker and author

Image from breacan.org.au

Imagine you have an entire month to take the road trip of your life, anywhere you wish. You have just won the use of a large luxury mobile home or recreational vehicle. The only limitation is that you were only given half a tank of fuel.

Of course, we can look on the bright side of things to estimate how far we could go, or we can be upset given the limited range available for this adventure. This view of things seems silly knowing that we always have the ability to top off the tank anytime we wish.

EXERCISE:

Where in either your professional or personal worlds are you operating with the half full or half empty perspective? What would be possible if you assumed an attitude of overflowing abundance instead?