Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“Is this necessary?”

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“Is this necessary?”

—Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor from 161 to 180

How often do you feel or hear yourself telling others that you are busy, slammed, and overwhelmed with all the demands of life? How often do you ever get to the bottom of your to-do list with energy left over to spend as you wish?

We all crave some wiggle room and respite in our days to recharge, renew, and even play. Many don’t let themselves play until all the work is done — and it rarely is.

EXERCISE:

Write the question, “Is this necessary?” on a few post-it notes places in strategic spots at home and at work. Now capture all those past to-do items that end up your ‘to-don’t-do” list. Share this list with others to support your new intentions and accountability.

 

“Stories are more appealing than statistics.”

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“Stories are more appealing than statistics.”

—Author Unknown

Image from wikipedia.org

Every Thursday evening, Wendy and I make it a priority to watch Young Sheldon on CBS. The stories of this little boy in Texas with a Nobel Prize IQ always perks up our day.

We love to see how he drives those around him nuts with his encyclopedic knowledge, and his amusing struggles with the daily aspects of growing up.

The show and its cast of quirky characters has a lot of heart. We always find ourselves cheering Young Sheldon through each adventure.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you incorporate more stories to humanize and help people better relate to your messages?

How can tapping into people’s hearts—not just their heads—better influence and engage others in your personal and professional communities?

“Run your own race.”

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“Run your own race.”

—Author Unknown

image from Unsplash by Andy Beales

What is the pace of your life these days? What time do you get up on weekdays, and on weekends?

Which days do you look forward to the most?

How much freedom and how much choice do you experience in your professional and personal pursuits?

To what degree are you running your own race versus being run around by others without fully realizing it?

EXERCISE:

Take a few minutes to look at your life through the magic words of MORE — LESS — START — STOP.

What would be different and far better in your world if you applied these to your current race?

What would that journey be like, and what destinations would you visit?

Consider who you want to join you on your amazing race. They say that if you want to go fast, go alone… but if you want to go far, go with others.

 

“Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do.”

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“Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do.”

—Irma Kurtz, Cosmopolitan Magazine’s unshockable Queen of Advice

In his terrific book, Give and Take, Adam Grant presents lots of interesting statistics on the upside and downside of being a Giver or a Taker. He even introduces a third category. The Matcher always seems to keep score and only tends to give if they are receiving something of at least equal value in return.

Sadly, since the pandemic began, we are increasingly seeing an increase of examples of people who fit into the selfless Giving group experiencing significant burnout, emotional challenges, and even death. Grant would most likely advise these individuals to shift from a “Selfless” approach to a more “Other-ish” approach by instituting more strategies to maintain their own health and well-being.

EXERCISE:

Where are you and other Givers in your communities experiencing the negative consequences of your generosity? How and where can you set better limits to protect yourself and still serve those you care about, including yourself?

Friday Review: Expectations

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FRIDAY REVIEW: EXPECTATIONS

What expectations do you carry for yourself and others? Here are a few expectation-related posts you may have missed.

 

 

“Accept this moment as if you had chosen it.”

 

 

 

“Do your expectations fuel you or deflate you?”

 

 

 

 

“I would like to travel the world with you twice. Once, to see the world. Twice, to see the way you see the world.”

 

 

 

“We see the same events through different lenses. We live in the same country but in different worlds.”

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“We see the same events through different lenses. We live in the same country but in different worlds.”

—Ted Koppel, British-born American broadcast journalist

Image of Ted Koppel from Wikipedia.org

When Ted Koppel speaks, people usually listen.

As a 42-year veteran of ABC News, he became the anchor and managing editor of ABC News Nightline in 1980 — one of the most honored broadcasts in television history.

As a member of the Broadcasting Hall of Fame, Ted has won every major broadcasting award, including 40 Emmys. In the United States, he has received over 20 honorary degrees from well-regarded universities.

How are you and others seeing current events? Where are your lenses the same or considerably different from others in your communities? Where are people treating one another like aliens from different worlds? What are the answers to help us come together as one country?

EXERCISE:

What steps can we all take to be a more united country? Ted Koppel might suggest we start with a new pair of lenses to look for all the things that unite us.

“When you get tired learn to rest, not quit.”

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“When you get tired learn to rest, not quit.”

—Banksy, an anonymous England-based street artist & political activist

Image from Unsplash by Adrian Swancar

How tired are you at this very moment? How tired have you felt physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually this past year? Besides your overall levels of energy, how would you rate your health, mood, ambition, motivation, and productivity?

These days, few of us are at our best. Some of us may be at one of our lowest points ever, with many having quit due to exhaustion and burnout.

Banksy’s coaching at such times is to rest, to take better care of ourselves, and to help others do the same.

We all may also wish to lower our expectations of ourselves and others, embrace our humanity, and know that our best can differ from time to time.

EXERCISE:

Where would more sleep, a few more naps, and more “you time” for rest and recharge keep you moving forward even if it is at a more moderate pace?

 

“Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.”

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“Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Eunice Stahl

Few of us are sailing the high seas or doing much boating these days. All of us, however, have seen dramatic climate changes in the weather, and in society. To what degree are you being buffeted or pushed around by the winds of change?

Alternatively, how are you learning to adjust your personal and professional sails and rudders to navigate toward safer harbors and a better world?

How is a meteorologist different from a sailor? Which of these professions reports and forecasts the changes occurring — and which uses that information to direct and adjust their efforts towards desired destinations?

EXERCISE:

How can and will you take more mindful moments during these dynamically changing times to clarify and pursue your path?

“Go beyond the expected.”

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“Go beyond the expected.”

—Author Unknown

Image from EmpireOnLIne

 

One of our family’s most beloved film series is Toy Story. We have seen most of the films multiple times. Now with our two-and-a-half-year-old grandson Weston we have many more exposures, including action figures and his Woody and Buzz Lightyear pajamas.

When asked to describe Buzz, virtually everyone can repeat his famous “To infinity and beyond” phrase with bold enthusiasm. It uplifts and motivates all of us to channel our own superpowers, do great things, and exceed our own current potential.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you go well beyond the expectations others have for you in your personal or professional communities? What bold and significant actions can and will you take today to reach beyond your own perceived limits and exceed your own expectations?

“Find the Energizers.”

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“Find the Energizers.”

—Erika James, Dean at the Wharton School

Image from Unsplash by Federico Beccari

What comes to mind when you think about energy?

Where do you look when it comes to outside sources?

The source at the top of my list is our sun, which makes life possible for many reasons. Beyond its miraculous properties which include supporting photosynthesis, powering our weather, and helping us produce vitamin D, its mere presence each morning is often the starter gun that kicks off our days.

As we head into winter in the northern hemisphere, the levels and duration of sunshine decrease, which can frequently reduce our own levels of energy and vitality. What do you do to remain fully charged and energized?

EXERCISE:

Make a list of all the energizing strategies you can think of. Talk with friends, family members, and others in your personal and professional communities about their best ideas.

Take particular note of which of these special people energize your world the most with their sunny personalities.