Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“The charity that is a trifle to us can be precious to others.”

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“The charity that is a trifle to us can be precious to others.”

—Homer, ancient Greek author of The Iliad and the Odyssey

Image from Unsplash by Kate Townsend

How often do you go out to eat? How often are your restaurant meals served by a waitperson?

What is your normal tip percentage for OK, good, or exceptional service?

In our early dating years, my wife Wendy was a waitress at a Friendly Restaurant outside of Philadelphia. Given this experience, she has always had a special place in her heart for kindhearted and caring servers who bring their authentic selves to their role, to make our dining experience special.

During our 40th anniversary dinner, she shared the story of a young waiter who really impressed her with his authenticity and character. Beyond her usual substantial tip, she handed him an extra 25 dollars to more fully acknowledge her delight in his service. This brought on a flood of tear from the young man.

EXERCISE:

Where might your current and future small charitable acts be even more precious to others than you realize? Where might an even more generous heart make a significant difference in your world today?

“Opportunities are seldom labeled.”

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“Opportunities are seldom labeled.”

—John A. Shedd, 19th Century American author and professor

For most of my life, I have been fascinated by the subject of personal and professional success.

I’ve read hundreds of books, attended dozens of seminars and conferences, and can hardly count the number of blog posts, podcasts, and TED talks I’ve explored.

In his book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree, Eric Barker digs into the science of success, to mess a bit with the conventional and unconventional wisdom on this subject.

One seemingly universal tenet of success does, however, point to the idea of taking massive action and trying many things along the way to stir up far more possibilities and opportunities to pursue.

EXERCISE:

To what degree are you waiting or being too passive, hoping for an opportunity to reveal itself?

Where would taking far more action and trying many more things help you bark up and climb the right trees for you?

Be a lighthouse rather than a lifeboat

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“Be a lighthouse rather than a lifeboat. Guide by example, and let others find their own way.”

—Barbara Kipfer, author of 14,000 Things to be Happy About

Image of a lighthose on a clear day

Image from Unsplash by Courtney Corlew

To what extend do you consider yourself a leader? Perhaps you are a manager or executive. Maybe you have your own company or plan on starting one soon. What is your leadership style? Are you a lighthouse that shines your light as a vision to guide and inspire? Perhaps you operate as a lifeboat, constantly doing far too much of the heavy lifting and seeing it as your job to save people and carry them to safety.

Who are the leaders that have inspired you through their good examples and challenged you to always be and do your best?

The key word in the last sentence is “Your,” which points to the critical aspect of living an authentic self-directed life.

EXERCISE:

Where might a “less you” and “more them” approach to leadership be the best approach to realize greater fulfillment and success for everyone?

Note: If you happen to be a parent, please try this approach with your children. Feel free to reply to this post and let me know how things go!

Constraints can unwittingly open doors

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“Constraints can unwittingly open so many doors.”

—Lindsay Hunter, Chicago-based Fiction Writer

Image of the sky through shattered glass

Image from Tzedek-Tzedek

The Theory of constraints is an important management system that helps businesses achieve their goals. The concept has proven to be beneficial in areas such as manufacturing, where it has improved service, on-time delivery, and reduced the need for excessive inventory.

Identifying constraints, or what some call bottlenecks or the weakest link in a chain, can help all of us become more efficient and effective simply by removing them or by finding a way around them.

Where, however, could constraints on either your personal or professional worlds actually serve you to explore and discover new opportunities?

EXERCISE:

Try a few thought experiments to examine the potential benefits of the following list of constraints:

  • Time: having a finite lifespan
  • Your memory
  • Money
  • Your health and fitness
  • The natural resources of the earth
  • Your belief system
  • Experience and knowledge
  • Space: your physical environment

Feel free to reply to this post with any insights you have, and opportunities you discover.

Friday Review Praise

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FRIDAY REVIEW: Praise

Praise packs a potent level of empowerment. Here are a few praise-related posts you may have missed. Click to read the full message.

 

“Rain and sun are to the flower as praise and encouragement are to the human spirit.”

 

 

 

“Praise does wonders for our sense of hearing.”

 

 

 

“There is no verbal vitamin more potent than praise.”

 

 

 

“Old ways won’t open new doors.”

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“Old ways won’t open new doors.”

— Author Unknown

Image from cwfoa.com

Image from cwfoa.com

Prior to starting my coaching career many years ago, I held sales, advertising, and marketing roles with a well-known pharmaceutical company. For a two-year period I even had the opportunity to work with advertising agencies to promote our products. Without question, there was a single word that, if we could use it, would grab the greatest attention for our prospective customers. The word, “NEW!” always got people to raise their eyebrows and lean in to learn more about the product.

Today it is more important and urgent to remain fresh and relevant. Old ways of doing things are becoming extinct, and it is imperative to initiate and embrace new ways to open new doors to the future.

EXERCISE:

Where in either your personal or professional life is sticking with old ways of doing things limiting your success?

Select at least one new thing to do today that will open one door that is closing, or is completely shut.

“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.”

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“Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.”

– René Descartes, French Philosopher and Writer

Photo from Flickr by William Warby

Photo from Flickr by William Warby

There is no such thing as an “overnight success,” but there is a formula to become one. Before you argue the inherent contradiction in that statement, consider this:

An “overnight success” is the result of the journey of personal mastery, which is built on continuous self-improvement gained through experiential learning over considerable time. The “formula” IS the journey, which demonstrates itself through the phenomenal capacities we achieve beyond those of our previous selves.

EXERCISE:

Envision the simple, ordinary, and daily problems you are solving today. How might they be the beginning or early stages of your journey of personal mastery, in some aspect of your professional or personal life?

“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem and a concerned person solves a problem.”

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“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem and a concerned person solves a problem.”

—Harold Stephens, American Author

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Image from Flickr by Debs

Have you ever watched a mouse racing around one of those circular wheels, never getting anywhere? They run and run and always end up in the same place. Alternatively, think about running on a treadmill. We get all worked up and sweaty, but find ourselves in the same place.

Worry is like that. In this case, the treadmills are in our minds. Concern, on the other hand, seems to have more of a mobilizing quality that takes us out of our heads and off those treadmills so we can set out on a journey to an eventual solution.

Exercise:

Where would a shift from worry to concern mobilize your thoughts and actions toward a successful solution in some important professional or personal issue today?

 

“Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.”

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“Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.”

—T. Harv Eker, author, businessman and motivational speaker

Image from Flickr by Tree Leaf Clover

When was the last time you had a cold? I bet there was a good chance you know who passed it on to you. The energy generated by those around us can have a similar impact on our health, well-being, and overall disposition.

Which people in your life give you that pick-me-up feeling? Which ones seem to suck the life out of you and make you feel ill, due to their negativity?

Exercise:

Create a list of people in your personal and professional life that you would place on either the positive or negative ends of the energy spectrum. Make an effort to only allow yourself to be “zapped” and not “sapped” as you adjust whom you spend your time with.

Extra credit: A quick and easily read book on the subject, particularly in a business context, is Zapp! The Lightning of Empowerment. Reading it will also help you become more of a “zapper” and less of a “sapper” in the lives of others.

“A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.”

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“A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.”

—Confucius, Chinese philosopher

(Hanoi)

Image from Flickr by dalbera=

When I first read this quote, it immediately made me think of the Level 5 leader described in Jim Collins’ best-selling business book Good to Great.

Collins describes a Level 5 leader, who is often associated with good companies becoming great companies, as someone possessing the following primary qualities:

  • Extreme personal humility
  • Intense professional will

Perhaps some of these Level 5 leaders were students of Confucius, who guided them to their compelling modesty and unwavering results.

Exercise:

How can you take the coaching of Confucius and Collins by letting your actions, today and every day, speak louder than words?