how would you like

Posted on September 15, 2016 by Barry

“How would you like things to be different in your life?”

—Fran Peavey, Social Activist

Image of shapes with questions in them

Fran Peavey was a social activist who passed away in 2010. Through her travels across the globe, she developed a process she called “strategic questioning,” which is characterized by questioning with an open mind and a caring heart.

Using this open, curious, and often provocative but not judgmental style, she conducted thousands of interviews over the course of two decades. She believed that this approach put people at ease, lowered barriers, and helped them find common ground around shared concerns.

EXERCISE:

Take 3-5 minutes to ask and answer one of Fran’s favorite questions: “How would you like things to be different in your life?” Consider engaging others in your personal and professional communities in this inquiry, so you can help one another make changes.

Feel free to let me know what happens by replying to this post!

the best story

Posted on September 8, 2016 by Barry

“When I look back in five years, which of these options will make the best story?”

—John Hager, American Politician

Image from evollution.com

Are you facing a major fork in the road in your professional or personal life?

Consider brainstorming all the possible options, and perhaps a few that are outside your current vision, to see where they lead in the near and distant future.

Which potential choice fits best with your vision, values, beliefs, skills, strengths, and personality? Pay attention to feelings stirred up by these hypothetical journeys.

What scares you?

What excites you?

What delights you?

EXERCISE:

Ask and answer the questions above, and begin telling the story you intend to write with your life.

“There is more than one right answer.”

-Dewitt Jones, National Geographic Photographer

image from www.english-forlife.com

There is something satisfying about getting the right answer.

Take a trip down memory lane back to school, where the goal was to get 100% on a test, or a perfect score on the entrance exam for college. Striving for excellence or perfection can be the source of great upset and frustration since we humans quite often fall short of the mark.

There can be many paths to excellence and achievement. Today’s quote coaches us to relax a bit and determine what is right for us, which may not necessarily be what others or society dictate.

EXERCISE:

What are the right answers for you regarding the following questions?

Where do you most enjoy spending your free or leisure time?
What strategies work best for you in your marital and parenting relationships?
What qualities and attributes bring you the greatest happiness and life satisfaction?
Where else would it be of value to remember that there is no one right answer to any question or issue you face?

Wait for the answer

Posted on February 26, 2014 by Barry

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

– William S. Burroughs, American writer

Image from Flickr by anieto2k.

One of my favorite phrases about coaching is “coaches let their questions do the heavy lifting.” If this is true – and I assert that it is – then we can all coach others, be coached by others, and even coach ourselves. We need only ask the right questions, then relax as our answers reveal themselves.

It is through this personal inquiry that our question-answering muscles do the work and allow us to grow and evolve.

Exercise:

What one or two important questions do you need to ask and answer for yourself today?

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”

Posted on September 20, 2013 by Barry

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”

—Sir Francis Bacon, 15th Century English Philosopher

Image from killerinterventions

One crucial tool for most coaches, including myself, is the question. Below are some of my favorites:

What results in life are essential for you to see yourself as a success?
What qualities do you hope to expand or develop to be your best future self?
What would you like people to say about you at the end of your life?
What inspires you?
What are you passionate about?

And of course… #6. What else?

Always ask “What else?” to help you layer into each question, to reach the full depth and rightness of your answers.

Exercise:

To reap the other half of wisdom, answer at least one of these questions today and others over the course of the coming week.

Share this exercise and your answers with those you care about in your personal and professional life.

Coach and support one another in living life each day consistently with your answers.

#66: “To raise new questions, new possibilities…”

Posted on August 8, 2012 by Barry

“…to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.”

– Albert Einstein

When I was in school, success was all about getting the correct answer. In recent years, I have become fascinated by powerful questions and the fact that there are often many possible answers.

I am becoming far more comfortable with ambiguity and shades of grey. I think Einstein, through his study of quantum physics and his quotes pertaining to the mysteries life demonstrates, has led many (including myself) in this direction.

Exercise:

How can you use powerful questions to do some heavy lifting and find the added strength and capacity to advance your life?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.