“Help me understand that better.”
Today’s quote can be extremely helpful in the development and enhancement of relationships, especially for men.
A few months ago, I attended a coaching conference. One of the key “conversation starters” was John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
Given the importance of relationships to maximize the benefits of the coaching process, we were “all ears and all in,” seeking greater mastery for ourselves and our clients.
If you are a student of Gray’s work, it is pretty apparent that many men have a limited attention span in certain conversations, and almost always seek to solve or fix problems even when the other party has made no request of them to do so.
Where and with whom would seeking to understand others better make a significant difference in both your professional and personal relationships?
“A point of view can be a dangerous luxury when substituted for insight and understanding.”
—Marshall McLuhan, 20th Century Canadian Professor
Image from Unsplash by Ashim D’Silva
Most people generally prefer order to chaos. We tend to like thing organized neatly, whether it be our closets, our files, and in the case of today’s quote, our minds.
When we take in information and experiences, we like to put them into neat piles based on previous knowledge. We categorize them by varying points of view on what is right or wrong, good or bad.
When you hear those around you – or maybe even yourself – saying, “I Know,” it often means they or you have stopped listening or closed their mind to alternative insights and perspectives.
With whom and on what issues have you developed a point of view that is holding you back in either your personal or professional communities?
“I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen.”
-John Steinbeck, American Author
Image from differencebetween.info
What is the difference between looking at something, and truly seeing it?
Whether it’s a painting or a person, my sense is that the differences can be great or small, considering the circumstance.
Great art, and in the case of today’s quote, the art of relationship creation and sustainability, requires a level of mastery seldom available to the paint-by-number novice.
Where can you place the time and effort to gain the depth of connection, cooperation, and collaboration you desire in your professional and personal lives, through more seeing and less looking?