How things should be

“Reality is the other person’s idea of how things should be.”

—John M. Shanahan, author of Hooked on Phonics

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As part of my Personal Excellence Training, I teach my clients to coach themselves, with a technique I call The Pivot Point. The first part of this tool is to help my clients assess the “current reality” of the situations in their lives.

The challenge for most, at the beginning, is that they often believe that their perception of reality is shared by everyone around them.


How open are you to the possibility that the people in your personal and professional worlds perceive “reality” quite differently than you?

Believing in you

“Sometimes you just need to be reminded: ‘You Got This!’”

—Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

Image of Olympic Gold Medals. Believing in you

Image from Flickr by Zoe

The 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona, Spain were my inspiration to become a coach. With the 2016 Olympics right around the corner, we will all see extraordinary efforts and accomplishments. The most exceptional athletes will stand on that platform to receive their medals and hear their national anthem played before the entire world.

If you could jump into a time machine to explore the lives of each of these athletes, you would discover one common factor that contributed to their success. That factor was the faith, commitment, and support of family, friends, and of course, the coaches, who believed in their greatness.


Who can you thank today for always believing and having faith in you? Who in your world might experience a difference in their lives from more “You Got This!” messages from you?

Good Example

“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.”

-Catherine Aird, British Crime Fiction Writer

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The other day I had a coaching session with a client regarding his parenting strategies. When he examined the behaviors that worked or didn’t, he looked to his own parent’s example for clues.

This man tends to emulate or copy the attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of those he admires, and often does the opposite of behaviors he considered as horrible parenting.


How can you benefit most from examples set by others to coach yourself toward a more successful professional and personal life?

Where can adjustments in the examples you set coach your children as well as others in your life to lead more successful lives of their own?

What I Might Be

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

—Lao Tzu, Chinese philosopher

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We all want to be ‘right’ – to have the correct answer, to know the truth. We think that will bring us clarity, stability, and peace of mind.

But what if being ‘right’ only serves to put us in a safe and limiting box?

When we define something, we limit it. Perhaps we could instead distinguish ourselves by being open to the possibility of who we could be rather than placing limits on who we are.


How and in what ways can you disengage from self-limiting beliefs?

If you find this difficult, ask a family member or close friend for their perspective.

“A great many people think…”

“A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.”

—William James, 19th Century American philosopher

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The term “prejudice” carries negative connotations for most people. We see numerous examples related to prejudice when we watch the local, national, and global news.

Few consider themselves prejudiced. “That label applies to the short-sighted individuals out there, not to me.”

Today’s quote points to the fact that our everyday thinking is actually a form of prejudice that helps us navigate our world, on the one hand, and which can limit us on the other hand.


How often do you find yourself exploring new ways of thinking, or trying on views other than those you have held for years?

What would be possible, and what value could you create, if you were to rearrange your prejudices?