Category Archives: Choices

A Better Way

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“There has got to be a better way.”

—Steve Jobs, late CEO of Apple, Inc.

Image from openculture.com

Image from openculture.com

My wife and I recently saw the new Steve Jobs movie. Regardless of your views about him as a person, he sure did exemplify today’s quote, and the Apple mantra of “Think Different.”

Perhaps much of the controversy about his life and leadership style was about how he always pushed the limits of what was possible, which sometimes involved pushing many of those around him out of their comfort zones.

Throughout my coaching career, I have encouraged my clients each and every day to be prepared to break their current patterns if they want new worlds to emerge.

To do otherwise would be insane.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional world would embracing a “There has got to be a better way” philosophy actually make things better?

“Live in such a way…”

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“Live in such a way that if someone spoke badly of you, no one would believe it.”

-Author Unknown

Image from thestar.com

Image from thestar.com

During the very early stages of a new coaching relationship, I often give my clients the assignment to describe their best future self. This exercise forces each individual to look deeply at the qualities and characteristics they wish to develop and expand upon during the course of our relationship and beyond.

We employ a strategy in which they examine past and current role models they admire and respect, knowing that if others could act and achieve such remarkable things, it is possible for them as well.

EXERCISE:

Upon your passing, what would you like others in your personal and professional worlds to say about you?

What adjustment will you make in the way you live today to guarantee this as your legacy?

“Life has no remote…”

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“Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.”

-Mark Cooper, author of Edelweiss Pirates, Operation Einstein

Image from Flickr by Keith Williamson

Image from Flickr by Keith Williamson

If you were to walk through your family room, den, entertainment area, basement, or home theater, collecting all your remote control devices, how many would you have?

In many ways, we have developed into a remote control society, frequently looking for the simplest and least effort necessary to change things for the better. It’s so easy to delete, fast forward, or hop over commercials to get to the sporting event, sitcom, or drama that interests us.

Our lives, however, usually play one show, entitled “Our Lives,” and we cannot click a button to change it easily.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional life is it time to get out of your chair and make the necessary changes you desire?

“Sometimes, you just have to…”

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“Sometimes, you just have to bow your head, say a prayer, and weather the storm.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Melinda Swinford

Image from Flickr by Melinda Swinford

In recent weeks, I’ve met a number of people experiencing significant challenges in their professional and personal worlds. They were knocked down and kept down by death, illness, accidents, and other major life events. For some, many of these things were happening at the same time.

Those who weather the storms the best all mentioned that it was their faith, family, and friends that made these disturbing and often tragic life events bearable.

EXERCISE:

Where can you seek for yourself—or offer to others—a level of support to more successfully weather the storms of life?

“You can’t start the next…”

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“You can’t start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one.”

—Author Unknown

Imagine a book based on  your life, with a Table of Contents that looks like this:

QC #826How likely would you be to keep reading the same chapter over and over again?

Although the answer seems obvious, many people live their lives this way, where “today” looks a great deal like many of their yesterdays.

EXERCISE:

If today’s scenario is even a bit familiar, consider telling a new life story by using Stephen Covey’s “Begin with the End in Mind” habit. Work your way backwards to write about the page-turning journey that got you there. I hope it is a best seller!

“Life is a lot like jazz…”

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“Life is a lot like Jazz… it’s best when you improvise.”

-George Gershwin, American composer and pianist

Photo from Flickr by Renzo Ferrante

Photo from Flickr by Renzo Ferrante

As I drive to and from work each day, I listen to contemporary jazz on Sirius/XM radio. Over the years I have also attended numerous concerts by many of my favorite performers.

Quite often the songs and tunes with which I am familiar sound a bit different from those I hear on the radio. Perhaps the reason for the variations is the fact that “real jazz” played in “real life” must be an act of improvisation. Many famous performers utilize local musical talent, who need to adapt to the other’s style with little rehearsal, unlike the weeks and months it can take in the studio to record and get it right.

EXERCISE:

Where would your professional or personal life benefit most by being more flexible, and improvising with those around you to play beautiful music together?

“People are like tea bags…”

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“People are like tea bags. You find out how strong they are when you put them in hot water.”

—Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States of America

Photo from Flickr by Eric Jusino

Photo from Flickr by Eric Jusino

Other than water, tea is the most popular drink in the world—so popular that its consumption is equal to that of coffee, soft drinks, and alcohol, combined!

Most of us have experienced pouring a cup of hot water over a bag or two, and watching it release its flavor within a few minutes. If you are a bit impatient, you may have even tried dunking the tea bag up and down to release its flavor even faster.

EXERCISE:

Consider the challenges, obstacles, and barriers you are facing today in either your personal or professional life. See them as hot water that brings out your greatest strengths, and your capacity for personal excellence.

How will you share your cup of life tea with others? How might you offer a little “hot water” to others, to help them discover their own inner strength?

“Figure out what it is…”

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“Figure out what it is in life you don’t do well, and then don’t do it.”

—Doug Copeland, former president and publisher of the Triad Business Journal

QC #820

As I observe individuals and organizations pursuing success in our increasingly dynamic world, I see a great deal of frustration and stress.

Our collective drive, intelligence, and creativity has never been greater, yet it still feels as if something is missing.

Our efforts to have it all, do it all, and be it all seem possible when we look to the media.  In the real world, this formula for the perfect balance is elusive, if not improbable.

Navigating today’s world requires more filters and focus, to design our own imbalanced yet more workable, satisfying, and fulfilling lives.

EXERCISE:

Take a personal inventory of all the things you don’t like doing or that you don’t do well. Stop doing them as soon as possible. This should make more room in your world to focus on your strengths, so you can do the thing you are good at and love to do.

Consider reading Marcus Buckingham’s “The One Thing You Need to Know” for more insights into great leading, great managing, and sustained individual success.

“When nothing goes right, go left.”

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“When nothing goes right, go left.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.picturequotes.com

Image from www.picturequotes.com

Not long ago, I attended two separate conferences with almost 500 coaches from around the world. One common quality among many, if not most coaches, is a positive attitude and the ability to influence their world for the better.

Common to many coaching sessions are situations where the client’s professional and/or personal worlds are off track, or headed that way. Many times a shift of perspective or a view through a more useful lens is all it takes to make things right again. Other times we must choose a more dramatic course of action by going outside our usual “go to” strategies.

EXERCISE:

Select a single area in your professional or personal life that is not going right at this time. Consider some alternative, “left turn” strategies or actions that you can—and will—take to set things right.

Consider posting one of my favorite quotes in a place where you will see it frequently, to remind you of this concept:

“When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge.” (Tuli Kupferberg)

Primary Choices in Life

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“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

— Denis Waitley, American motivational speaker and writer

image from http://www.faithingyourblueprint.com

image from http://www.faithingyourblueprint.com

When I read today’s quote, I felt a bit troubled. Observing the world around me, I notice many people making a third, and yet very undesirable choice in life: the choice to be the victim. This is where individuals, organizations, and sometimes even nations, blame others for their current conditions.

Waitley points to two better choices for us to consider as we journey through our days. As the serenity prayer suggests, it is often helpful to simply accept those things we cannot control or influence, and of course, accept and take responsibility for those situations about which we can do something.

EXERCISE:

What choices are you currently making in your professional and personal life? Where would greater acceptance of your responsibility to change for the better make the biggest difference?