Category Archives: Relationships

Find Good Support

Posted on by

“Don’t wait for someone to take you under their wing. Find a good wing and climb up underneath it.”

—Frank C. Bucard, Author of The Trust Puzzle

Image from Flickr by Savannah Sam Photography

Image from Flickr by Savannah Sam Photography

We all need help if we are to fly high and far.

Think back to the recent Olympics in Brazil, and consider the social supports in place for each athlete. Beyond their coaches, there were friends, family, mentors, and sports psychologists directing their efforts toward personal excellence.

In the event you do not have your own team of supportive individuals lined up to encourage and uphold you, begin today to seek them out, and choose the very best. With a champion’s spirit and effort, both you and those with “good wings” will benefit greatly.

EXERCISE:

Once your “A” team of supportive individuals are on board, take the initiative to spread your own wings for others to climb underneath.

Don’t belittle yourself

Posted on by

“Don’t belittle yourself. Be-Big yourself.”

—Corita Kent, American Catholic Nun

Image from fineartamerica.com

Image from fineartamerica.com

There is, perhaps, no greater destructive force in relationships than that of belittling and diminishing others. Eleanor Roosevelt gave us a bit of coaching with her famous quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Today’s quote points to the not always recognized inner critic and the things we say about ourselves. How often do you chastise, berate, belittle, and judge yourself, personally or professionally?

EXERCISE:

What alternative “Be-Bigging” messages can you use now and in the future to build, empower, and support your own self-confidence and self-worth?

Consider enlisting the help and coaching of others when you aren’t aware of these often hidden attempts to bring yourself down.

Find the Gold

Posted on by

“Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one that finds the gold.”

-author unknown

Image from Flickr by CameliaTWU

Image from Flickr by CameliaTWU

The world came together in Rio for two weeks earlier this month, to marvel at and celebrate the performance of 10,500 athletes from over 200 countries.

I particularly enjoy the back stories of these remarkable people. How they came to pursue their dream of becoming an Olympian, regardless of whether they make it to the podium, is often inspiring.

With the 2016 Olympics now behind us, how many of us will fall back into the undesirable habit of looking for the dirt in one another? This is a habit that undermines the fabric of the caring relationships and close-working communities we all desire.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you permanently retain and maintain the “Midas Touch” to continuously find the gold in the people in your professional and personal worlds?

solve problems

Posted on by

“How can I help others solve problems and achieve their dreams?”

-Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

image of a reciprocity ring

image from Humaxnetworks.com

What do top organization like IBM, Boeing, General Motors, and Bristol Myers Squibb have in common?

They have all used the Reciprocity Ring Exercise developed by University Sociologist Wayne Baker, and his wife Cheryl, at Humax.

The process involves groups in which the members ask for something important to them in their personal or professional lives. Requests are put out to the group and all participants make connections, offer introductions to contacts, or give other, more tangible help with achieving the member’s goals.

EXERCISE:

Check out the Reciprocity Ring Exercise and consider using it to help others in your professional or personal world solve problems and achieve their dreams.

stop a steamroller

Posted on by

“You will not stop a steamroller by standing in front of it, but by letting it run out of steam.”

-Laurent Carrel, Messages from Melanie

image of a steamroller

Image from thoughtleadersllc.com

Do you know someone who unleashes anger, judgement, frustration, and upset on you or others from time to time?

Once they’re on a roll, there seems no stopping them, but there is one technique that can take the steam out of them. Choose to demonstrate interest in them by listening even more fully to their issues and concerns.

Use well-structured open-ended questions and layering to gain a greater depth of understanding. With this technique, you will likely help them quickly run out of steam.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom could you try this technique, to create more work-ability in this important relationship?

Life is a bank account

Posted on by

“Business and life are like a bank account. You can’t take out more than you put in.”

—William Feather, 20th Century American Writer and Publisher

image of a piggy bank with a gas meter on it

Image from Stevemgus.com

When you were little did you have a piggy bank in which to save for that special something you desired? Did you have chores or another way of investing efforts to earn more and add more to your small fortune?

When I entered school we were all encouraged to start a savings account. We would grow our tidy sums with the promise of a bonus—called “interest”—that would add even more.

Today, most of us contribute to our IRAs, 401Ks, and other investment vehicles, in order to grow our net worth and provide the financial security and independence we all desire.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you invest your personal and professional efforts to reap the compounded interest of a life focused on giving and contributing to others?

seeds of greatness

Posted on by

“The seeds of greatness grow faster in the hearts of those doing work they love.”

—Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

Image of hand holding seeds of greatness

Image from Flickr by Elis Alves

I recently read Adam Grant’s book, Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success.

Adam is an award-winning researcher, and Wharton’s highest rated professor. Among the many important forces he discovered through his extensive research is the critical elements of relationships, and their impact on success.

He discovered that people operate as takers, matchers, or givers, resulting in various degrees of success based on whether the focus is on oneself or others.

Giving, it turns out, especially in work that people truly enjoy and makes a meaningful contribution, seems to be most highly correlated with the greatest levels of success.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you start or do more of the work you love, so that you reap an even greater harvest in your professional and personal lives?

To Profit from Good Advice

Posted on by

“To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.”

—John Churton Collins, Literary Critic

Image from tanveernasser.com

Image from tanveernasser.com

I put significant focus on an individual’s self-awareness when I begin a new coaching engagement. To do this, I introduce an “inner voice” exercise, in which the person pays close attention to:

  • What their inner voice is saying,
  • Determining if this voice is supportive or critical,
  • Determining how open and receptive they are to the thoughts of others.

Most people discover that when they look for the value and contribution in what others say, they reap greater rewards and boost their relationships.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you shift your own “inner voice” to receive more good advice and wisdom from others?

See Their Magic

Posted on by

“To love a person is to see all of their magic and to remind them of it when they have forgotten.”

— Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Linus Bohman

Image from Flickr by Linus Bohman

As part of my signature Personal Excellence Training, I spend an entire day with my client, getting to know them well and fully understanding their vision, values, and goals. This investment of time creates a special partnership called coaching, in which, over time, the magic of each individual is discovered and enhanced.

Throughout this coaching journey, most people experience setbacks and doubts about themselves, and their capacity to achieve their most cherished goals. We all need a committed and loving supporter to remind us of our magic when difficult times cause us to forget.

EXERCISE:

How can you demonstrate your love and caring for others by seeing their magic and reminding them of it when they forget?

Who are the caring people in your personal or professional worlds who could play this role for you?

Leadership is the Bridge

Posted on by

“A life is what we live, a legacy is what we leave, and leadership is the bridge.”

-Jay Goff, Coach, Speaker, Trainer

QC #1020

“The Mighty Mac” Image from Flickr by C. Hanchey

When I Googled the word “Leadership,” 750 million hits came up. Clearly, a lot of folks around the world—including Jay Goff—see great value in this important skill.

When we simplify this widely studied and examined quality, we can agree that it must include speaking about and engendering a desired future in others. The great news today’s quote suggests is that we can all use this bridge to leave a legacy and a lasting difference as we live each day.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you develop and expand your own leadership abilities to create a more extraordinary life, and leave the personal and professional legacy you desire?