“We seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack.”

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“We seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack.”

— Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher

What do you think are the relative percentages of our focus on what we lack versus what we have? Are they 90/10, 80/20, 70/30, 60/40 or 50/50? You may notice I stopped at 50/50 – and for the purpose of this post, let’s just say that the odds in general aren’t in most people’s favor.

What is your own ratio?

Regardless of your own score, focusing your attention on what you already have is the key to happiness and living a fulfilling life.

Exercise:

For the next week, use a journal or notebook to record your thoughts on what you have and what you lack. Consider using an alarm (perhaps on your phone) to trigger you to capture these thoughts.

After writing about what you have, ask “what else” and add even more to the list, to shift yourself toward a more full appreciation of the richness and abundance all around you.

Feel free to reply to this message with any insights you may have gained from this exercise.

“It’s not who you are that is holding you back. It’s who you think you’re not.”

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“It’s not who you are that is holding you back. It’s who you think you’re not.”

— Unknown

Here goes: I’m going to do it. Today, I’m declaring to you, the readers of The Quotable Coach, that I will be writing a book based on the quotes that I’ve written about.

I’m calling this project “Daring Greatly,” based on the book of the same name by Brené Brown.

The challenge for all of us when we take on such matters is that we enter the unprotected world of vulnerability with all its associated fears of inadequacy and potential failure.

Beyond this first step in making this declaration to you, I have also just submitted a proposal to speak at the 2014 International Coach Federation (ICF) conference on this effort. The title is: “A Reluctant Writer: Quotching, from Blog to Book.”

Please consider sending positive thoughts and encouragement my way!

Exercise:

Consider taking on your own “Daring Greatly” project and declare your intentions within your communities. Reply to me with your own public goal and I will compile a list and share it with all of you in a future piece.

Thanks for being open to this coaching and for keeping going despite any thoughts of what you’re not.

As your consciousness expands

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“As your consciousness expands, your level of expectation will grow. Keep asking yourself, am I selling myself short? Most of us are.”

—John R. Spannuth, President/CEO of the USA Water Fitness Association

Image from www.mattcromwell.com

The coaching process usually helps people delve into new areas of perception, reconsidering their views of reality and what is possible. This expanded consciousness can either increase our courage to pursue new possibilities or generate fear which can make us stop, or even run in the opposite direction.

Exercise:

In what areas of your life are you selling yourself short due to fear?

How can you summon the courage of your expanded consciousness to foster and realize new possibilities in your professional and personal life?

“Think before you speak. Words can get you into trouble much easier than they can get you out of it.”

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“Think before you speak. Words can get you into trouble much easier than they can get you out of it.”

— D. Ernest Green

As part of my Personal Excellence Training, I spend a considerable amount of time developing each client’s awareness of their inner voice. Sometimes this voice shows up as a judge or a critic when it is directed toward others or as a gremlin when it is directed inward.

The problem comes when this inner voice is not monitored for potential damage and is put on external speaker.

Exercise:

Today and over the next week, take particular note of when your inner voice is judgmental or critical. Ask yourself, if I put these thoughts out there, will it forward the situation or simply make me feel justified and right?

When your inner gremlin’s voice is directed toward yourself, the damage is done without uttering a word. In this case you need to catch the critical words in the formulation stage and reframe them to do no harm – or perhaps even to empower yourself in a positive direction.

Creating New Patterns, Facing Change and Managing Your Time Better [audio]

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This is a seven-minute excerpt from my appearance on BlogTalkRadio’s show On the Dean’s List, with host Dean la Douceur. In it, Dean and I discuss:

  • The quote “When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge.”
  • The blocks to change – what holds us back (e.g. fear of loss).
  • Top issues that clients seek my support with and how that’s changed over my career.
  • Time management, particularly in the light of new technology. “Time is the coin of your life.” [link to the quote]
  • Interpersonal communications, social media, and face-to-face conversations.

Simply click below to play the audio file.

[audio:https://www.thequotablecoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Deans-List-1.mp3|titles=Barry Demp, “On the Dean’s List”]

If you’d like to hear the whole of my interview with Dean la Douceur (37 minutes), please click here to visit the Podcasts page on my Barry Demp Coaching site. You can listen to it online or download it.

“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed…”

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“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be realized and channeled toward some great good.”

– Brian Tracy, motivational speaker and author

During my initial full-day workshop to prepare my clients for coaching, I have them do a core values exercise where they narrow down a list of 60 values down to 20, then 10, then finally 3.

A very high percentage of the time, the value of “personal growth and development” (living up to the full use of their potential) makes at least the top 10.

Exercise:

What new oceans will you be sailing and what new continents do you plan to explore in the near future? How will you channel the potential within you toward some great good?

Consider exploring the work of Peter Senge, who wrote The Fifth Discipline and The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook, from which the list I use was developed:

www.amazon.com/Fifth-Discipline-Practice-Learning-Organization-ebook/dp/B000SEIFKK

www.amazon.com/Fifth-Discipline-Fieldbook-Strategies-Organization-ebook/dp/B004MPR6PQ

“Our brains become magnetized with the dominant thoughts we hold in our minds and…”

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“Our brains become magnetized with the dominant thoughts we hold in our minds and by means with which no man is familiar, these ‘magnets’ attract to us the forces, the people and the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominant thoughts.”

– Napoleon Hill, early self-help author

I’ve broken one of my own guidelines to share this quote by Napoleon Hill. It is much longer than the quotes I normally use – and yet a fundamental premise of coaching is being willing to go outside your comfort zone, or break a pattern so a new world can emerge.

Perhaps by breaking a self-imposed rule here, I’ve simply embraced my own coaching in order to bring wise thinking to you and to others.

Exercise:

There is a new TV series on the science channel called Futurescape, narrated by James Woods:

science.discovery.com/tv-shows/futurescape

In one of the first episodes they will be reviewing research from New York University on the ability to read our thoughts.

What are your dominant thoughts and how are they manifesting in the reality of your life?

If you could simply make a switch to a more entertaining, engaging and prosperous “channel” in your life, what would the programming be?

“Don’t think of your goals – think from your goals.”

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“Don’t think of your goals – think from your goals.”

– Unknown

We are entering the holiday season and before you know it, we will be into a new year filled with promise and great opportunities. It’s that time again to reflect on what we have accomplished this year and begin the journey forward.

Quote 417Image from Flickr by Lara Cores

Regardless of how much or even how little may have been achieved, consider a new approach to goal setting for the coming year. This quote suggests that we use our goals as a magnet to attract and pull us forward in thoughts and deeds to realize them.

Exercise:

Begin with the end in mind and think from your goals and you will see the action steps and milestones more clearly than ever before.

Consider picking up a copy of Stephen Covey’s famous book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and pay particular attention to Habit #2 which is “begin with the end [goals] in mind.”

You may wish to watch this video, which starts with the above quote: vimeo.com/23265082

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action toward your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

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“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action toward your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

—Dr. Steve Maraboli, behavioral scientist and author

Image from Amazon

Today’s quote packs quite a punch. It is actually eight bite-sized pieces of coaching stuck together. Take a moment to separate each of these nuggets of wisdom and see how well you are doing in each area by rating yourself on a 1 – 10 scale.

Exercise:

Select at least one of these areas you wish to enhance today and in the coming weeks, and identify a specific action or two that will take you to the next level.

Feel free to choose a second, third, etc.

“It’s not about an opening weekend. It’s about a career, building a set of films you’re proud of.”

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“It’s not about an opening weekend. It’s about a career, building a set of films you’re proud of.”

– George Clooney, actor

If you were to win an award for lifetime achievement, what would the highlight reel contain before they introduced you?

In today’s society, we seem enthralled with one hit wonders in many areas of life. We watch the hottest YouTube clips or we listen to the catchiest songs of the day. We focus on subjects that grab the headlines on the nightly news or even in our RSS feeds.

Clooney is suggesting we consider our enduring legacy as the effort and accomplishment over time that demonstrates staying power and some permanence.

Exercise:

What else do you want or need to accomplish in the year ahead to be worthy of your own lifetime achievement award?