“Dream big, but allow yourself the opportunity to start small and have your share of struggles in the beginning. The world’s greatest composers weren’t writing symphonies the day they first sat at the piano.”

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“Dream big, but allow yourself the opportunity to start small and have your share of struggles in the beginning. The world’s greatest composers weren’t writing symphonies the day they first sat at the piano.”

– Kevin O’Rourke, American film, stage, and television actor

O’Rourke is suggesting that we consider our life as a splendid symphony and that we are all composers.

Image from Unsplash by Paige Cody

The other day, my wife Wendy downloaded a piano app onto her iPad and began to play around with it. She began with scales and made an effort at Chopsticks. She eventually wants to play the piano that was given to her by her father many years ago as a gift when we were first married.

Exercise:

What are a few of your big dreams and goals? What small steps and potential struggles must be taken now to help you develop the mastery to compose your personal and professional symphonies?

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”

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“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”

– Epictetus, Stoic philosopher

When I engage a new client in a customized coaching relationship, we spend a considerable amount of time exploring their key personal and professional relationships. I often have them rate these relationships on a 1 – 10 scale to determine both the current level of support they provide as well as the importance they have for this individual moving forward.

Social support is as important to the coaching process as the client’s own motivation and ability to pursue their goals.

Exercise:

Spend more time with those people who call forth your personal and professional best.

Spend less time with those people who are negative and critical.

Identify some people who uplift you and start spending time with them

Finally, identify some of the most negative, judgmental people and stop spending time with them or giving them any “mindshare”.

“I quote others only to better express myself.”

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“I quote others only to better express myself.”

– Michel de Montaigne, essayist and founder of modern skepticism

I have been writing The Quotable Coach series for over a year. A critical reason why I am (and perhaps you are) attracted to these insights and pearls of wisdom are thoughts such as:

  • I never saw it that way before.”
  • “That’s an interesting perspective.”
  • “Wow, that’s deep.”
  • And my favorite: “I wish I’d said that!”

The Quotable Coach format has helped me dig a bit deeper each day into my own voice and perspectives on a wide array of subjects as I look to better navigate my own life and assist others.

Exercise:

Visit the archives of The Quotable Coach series and select a small number of quotes that best express your own beliefs.

Consider creating a small display of these in your own world to enhance the expression of these messages in your day to day activities and relationships.

“We write to taste life twice: in the moment and in retrospection.”

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“We write to taste life twice: in the moment and in retrospection.”

– Anais Nin, author

One of the habits that both supports and expedites results achieved during a coaching relationship is journaling.

Using some form of log book to capture tools used, lessons learned, and insights revealed is like doing more reps at the gym or taking extra practice sessions in your favorite sport to build greater muscle memory and mastery.

Exercise:

Consider purchasing a journal or notebook to capture the significant events that occur throughout your day. Feel free to use digital methods as well.

Experiment with selecting different times during the day to see what works best for you. Some of my clients place this notebook on their pillow to download their day and empty their minds before bed. Others place their journal on their office chair and reflect on the previous day before they begin the new one.

Feel free to reply to this email and let me know what works well for you.

“The only end of writing is to enable the reader better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.”

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“The only end of writing is to enable the reader better to enjoy life, or better to endure it.”

– Samuel Johnson, author, literary critic and lexicographer

When I first set out on the journey to begin writing The Quotable Coach, over a year ago, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. My initial success at blogging for the previous 18 months, based on readership, was modest at best.

Through the receiving of critical feedback, and now with almost 700 daily subscribers, we seem to have stumbled onto a format with content that, as Johnson suggests, helps people move forward and enjoy their lives a bit more (and also, at times, navigate obstacles and challenges).

Exercise:

Please consider partnering with me at this time by sharing the ideas and exercises found within The Quotable Coach series with others in your personal and professional life. (Perhaps you could forward them a quote you particularly enjoyed, or direct them to The Quotable Coach website.)

With sincere appreciation,

Barry Demp

“The merit of originality is not novelty; it is sincerity.”

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“The merit of originality is not novelty; it is sincerity.”

– Thomas Carlyle, Scottish philosopher and writer

One of the cornerstones to the value of coaching is the stickiness or sustainability of success that it provides.

An example of stickiness can be found in brand loyalty, to specific products and services that have stood the test of time.

Think about your own loyalty to specific brands, even when faced with the onslaught of novel and often catchy campaigns attempting to lure you away from these sincere and enduring relationships. To borrow a phrase used by one of the most successful brands in the world, we are looking for “the real thing.”

Exercise:

Take a few quiet moments over a weekend to write out your own original vision statement, based on your most sincerely held beliefs and values.

Consider doing this exercise with close friends or family members, to embrace the mutual merits of each person’s originality.

For example, my Life Vision is a healthy, peaceful, beautiful world of extraordinary relationships, great accomplishments, and integrity; an exciting world of respect, dignity, leadership, courage, and honor, where all people generously and passionately contribute their best to one another.

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.”

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“The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.”

– Plutarch, Greek historian, biographer and essayist

In his book Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell shares his unique perspective and findings in the areas of what makes people successful. Surprisingly, there appears to be no significant correlation between high intelligence (even genius) and long term success. Once someone reaches an IQ of around 120, having additional IQ points doesn’t seem to translate into a measurable real-world advantage.

I’d like to suggest that once the mind is filled sufficiently, it triggers some reaction to mobilize one’s heart and spirit to pursue a passionate quest for one’s path through life.

Exercise:

Explore your daily activities to see what experiences, people, and yes, knowledge and wisdom, light your fires of life.

Consider making more time for these by stopping what you can in order to make room for them.

“Genius is no more than childhood recaptured at will.”

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“Genius is no more than childhood recaptured at will.”

– Charles Baudelaire, French poet and translator

I just did a Google search for the top ten most influential people of all time. Guess who was number one on this list: Jesus. Others included Muhammad, Gandhi, Buddha, Confucius, and of course, Einstein.

In the book Jesus CEO (written in 1992), Lauri Beth Jones identifies over 80 key characteristics of how Jesus lived his life. One quality I particularly like was his ability to be playful and share his sense of humor, spontaneity, and joy. His genius helped others lower their defenses and flock to be with him.

Exercise:

I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy of Jones’ book and review at least one of Jesus’ qualities each day.

Each section will only take about 3 minutes to read but may take quite a bit longer to reflect and act upon. I assure you, it will be worth it.

“The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. And the first to forget is the happiest.”

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“The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. And the first to forget is the happiest.”

—Author Unknown

Recently, I have been working with my friend and personal organizer Lisa, to help remove some clutter from my home. It is amazing the happiness I experience to see my junk drawers open easily and to enter my closet where I have only the clothing that fits me. Donating those items I was not using felt pretty good too.

When I saw this quote, it made me think of the mental and emotional clutter we often carry around with us – and how this area can often benefit from a bit of a makeover.

Exercise:

Consider picking up a copy of The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, where she describes her year-long journey using a wide variety of strategies to become happier.

observation and reflection

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“It’s on the strength of observation and reflection that one finds a way.”

– Claude Monet, French impressionist painter

Image of Monet Water Lillies painting

Image from The Metropolitan Museum of Art

This past summer, I had the opportunity to visit the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, and saw some of Monet’s work. It is said that he rejected traditional approaches to landscape painting and instead of copying old masters, began learning from nature itself. He particularly took note of variations of color and light caused by daily or seasonal changes.

Exercise:

How can you find your own way to live your life and pursue your goals on your own strength of observation and reflection?

Consider checking out Daniel Pink’s A Whole New Mind, published in 2005, to exercise your right brain in what’s still a pretty left-brained world.