Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Aim higher in case you fall short

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“Aim higher in case you fall short.”

—Suzanne Collins, author of The Hunger Games

Image from Unsplash by Ricardo Arch

I bet you learned a lot about gravity well before you studied the work of Isaac Newton in school.

The world of sports — especially the ones with balls — all taught us to aim higher than our intended target if we wanted to hit the mark.

What are some of the ways you direct your aim higher than your targets knowing well that there are various forces pulling you down?

What personal and professional games are you playing where both internal and external factors get in the way to trip you up or block your path?

EXERCISE:

Where do you need to aim higher and shoot for the moon?

Even if you miss, you might just land among the stars.

Most people can talk without listening

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“Most people can talk without listening. Very few can listen without talking.”

—Bruce Lee, Hong Kong and American martial artist, actor, philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

It’s easy to look at today’s quote and nod our heads in agreement.

I bet you can think of dozens of people in your personal and professional communities that fit this idea to a tee.

Perhaps you are evolved enough to know that when you point a finger at others there are three fingers in you palm pointing right back at you.

What makes listening to others so difficult?

What gets in the way that we neglect to give others our undivided attention? Perhaps it may have something to do with the fact that we are always talking.

Although words may not be coming from our mouth, we always seem to make our inner voices our top priority.

EXERCISE:

How often do you get annoyed when two people or more are talking at the same time?

Given that one of these people is always you, how could you pause to fully honor what others have to say?

Greet yourself each day with care and a friendly hello

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Greet yourself each day with care and a friendly hello. A kind smile does wonders even when it comes from yourself.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Shaurya Sagar

How do you start your days?

Who are the first people you see when you wake up and head out the door? Perhaps you are a mom or dad with a baby who wakes you early for a feeding.

Maybe it’s your spouse or significant other using the facilities or hogging the early morning covers.

Perhaps it’s a neighbor you see, out for an early morning walk with their dog.

Before everyone else, consider the person looking back at you in the mirror as you wash your face and shine those pearly whites. What type of greeting do you offer yourself as your day begins?

EXERCISE:

How would an extra moment of kindness and a friendly smile from and toward yourself be a wonderful way to begin your day?

Friday Review: Apologies

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Friday Review: Apologies

How willing are you to apologize? How well do you accept apologies? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

 

 

 

 

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”

 

 

 

Who in your life deserves a sincere apology and a shift in your behavior?

 

 

 

If you run out of kind words for yourself stop talking

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“If you run out of kind words for yourself stop talking.”

—Niklas Goke, Author of The Four Minute Millionaire

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Henry

We’ve all heard the phrase If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.

This concept has served me well over the years when it pertained to other people. It works well — except when eye rolls and our body language betray us.

Turning this idea on ourselves is bit more difficult. It seems impossible to stop our inner critics and an external speaker isn’t necessary to deliver the bad news.

EXERCISE:

How often do you catch yourself talking to yourself?

How kind or critical are you during these inner dialogues?

What positive triggers can you put in place to send a little more kindness your way?

Do my expectations match the level of effort I’m giving

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“Do my expectations match the level of effort I’m giving?”

—Shane Parrish, Founder of the Farnam Street website

Image from Unsplash by Product School

What are your thoughts about the statement You get what you expect?  How do your own personal and professional results align with your expectations?

I am all about the power of positivity when and only when our efforts are consistent with our thinking.

In my observations and in lots of social science studies there seems to be a strong correlation between the harder we work, and the luckier we get.

EXERCISE:

How and where is it necessary to up your level of effort to match the expectations you have for yourself?

Where would raising your expectations and your level of effort be in order?

One of the greatest treasures in the world is a contented heart

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“One of the greatest treasures in the world is a contented heart.”

—John O’Donohue, 20th Century Irish poet and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by N.

Today’s quote sends us all on a treasure hunt, challenging us to explore our inner and outer worlds to see what truly offers heartfelt contentment.

What aspects of your life feed and keep you fed — body and soul?

In today’s media-flooded world, many of us have been brainwashed into the myth of having it all. So many of us play this game only to find that long-term satisfaction and contentment eludes us.

Having what we want versus wanting what we have is a perspective worth a closer look.

EXERCISE:

What aspects of your life are essential for you to close your eyes at night with a contented heart?

How many of these treasures are already in your possession?

Take a broader view of your track record

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Take a broader view of your track record. What did you pick up and learn when you fell? How quickly did you stand again to give things another go?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Nils Huenerfuerst

Just before 7:00 each morning you can find me playing Wordle. I consider it a form of cerebral stretching that helps me warm up my mental muscles. My interest in its statistical feedback is one of the reasons I haven’t missed a day in over a year.

In the early stages of my Wordle-ing efforts it often took more attempts to solve each puzzle. On a number of occasions, I failed completely.

Every few months I evaluate my progress with some grade school arithmetic to get a broader view of my running average score.

EXERCISE:

Where would taking a broader view of your track record over time serve you best? What critical lessons have your learned? What motivates you to keep going when you occasionally stumble or fall?

If you’re not willing to do a wholesale 24/7,100% swap with who that person is

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“If you’re not willing to do a wholesale 24/7,100% swap with who that person is, then there is no point in being jealous.”

—Naval Ravikant, Indian-American entrepreneur and investor

Image from Unsplash by PCM

What did you want to be when you were a kid? Who were your heroes, and how often did you imagine being them?

What about these days?

How often do your thoughts detour to trading places with the rich and famous? If you were to find a magic lamp, how would you use those wishes to swap out your life for some alternative picture of perfect?

Where do you currently feel the pangs of envy and jealousy?

Who are the people you actually know that seem to have it all? How do you feel around them when your habit of making comparisons kicks in?

EXERCISE:

Take a closer look at your life.

If possible, dig below the surface of your initial superlative assessments of others.

Perhaps they may actually be a bit jealous of you.