Tag Archives: Barry Demp

The past and future are in the mind only

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“The past and future are in the mind only — I am now.”

—Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, 20th Century Indian Guru

Image from Unsplash by Shantung Kulkarni

Being fully present in all the “now’s” of life is hard to do. If we work at it and practice mindfulness though meditation and other methods, we can improve our odds of success.

Our awareness of our leaps into the past and the future is the stuff of TV show, movies, and sci-fi books. It seems like time travel is a pretty interesting theme for entertaining ourselves.

The fact that our minds can be found bouncing back and forth moment-to moment throughout the day proves this point.

EXERCISE:

What would be the benefit of going a little out of your mind to be in the “now” of life on a more consistent basis?

Speech is a very important aspect of being human

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“Speech is a very important aspect of being human. A whisper doesn’t cut it.”

—James Earl Jones, American actor and voice of Darth Vader

Image from Unsplash by Julien Backhaus

What are some of the most important qualities of an outstanding leader? What are the factors that have people follow them in their personal, professional, or civic communities?

Who are the leaders — past and present — that you most admire? What actions do and did they take to enroll and engender others?

Today’s quote clearly offers a key answer: Fundamental to a leader’s role is to speak about the future they envision, and gain buy-in to these futures from others.

Given this perspective, leadership is not limited to just the famous or powerful. It is a quality we all can apply daily to live the dreams we dream.

EXERCISE:

How often and where do you speak up to share your vision for the future?

Where would it be beneficial to raise the volume on the whispering voices within to tell the world where you stand?

You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and Chapstick

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“You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and Chapstick on their hero’s journey.”

—Anne Lamott, American writer, political activist, and writing teacher

Image from Unsplash by Kelly Sikkema

What are your thoughts about being a good parent? If you happen to be blessed with little ones of your own — even if they are fully grown — I am sure you have plenty to share!

Examine how you interacted with them at different ages. How protective were you in their infant and toddler years? How did things stay the same or change as they got older and exerted increased independence?  To what degree did you keep them in bubble wrap or let them out of their packaging to experience the world on their own?

EXERCISE:

In what ways do your current parenting strategies support your children in becoming all they can be?

What adjustments may be appropriate for them to fully discover and develop their inner hero?

There are very few things as fulfilling as a conversation with another soul

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There are very few things as fulfilling as a conversation with another soul.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Aarón Blanco Tejedor

When was the last time you had a soulful conversation? Who was it with? What did you discuss? What was your experience of time and your level of engagement?

If you are like many people, you experience primarily surface conversations that appear like glancing blows with most people.

We are so busy running from here to there looking at our schedules for what’s next that we have habituated a “sound bite” life.

EXERCISE:

Set up a block of time with at least one person this week for a soulful conversation.

Keep things open-ended and fluid, with limited distractions.

Consider including, coffee, tea or even a homemade meal to add to your mutual enjoyment.

Feel free to let me know how things go.

Friday Review: Character

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Friday Review: Character

What is your definition of character? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“The story of each stone leads back to a mountain.”

 

 

 

 

“It is the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.”

 

 

 

“Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself.”

 

 

Man arrives as a novice at each age of his life

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“Man arrives as a novice at each age of his life.”

—Nicolas Chamfort, 16th Century French writer

Image from Unsplash by Jelled Vanooteghem

Watching our grandchildren grow provides us with much joy and many valuable lessons.

Babies are perhaps the best example of being a novice. Grasping, crawling, making sounds, and those all-important first steps are excellent examples of new worlds emerging for our little ones.

As we age, being a novice and unable to do certain things can be very frustrating.

Our awareness of setbacks and stumbles can cause us to give up too soon and not push through our difficulties.  Where are the feelings of being a novice keeping you from taking some important first steps in your life?

EXERCISE:

How can you more fully embrace a beginner’s mindset and appreciate your novice status on your journey toward greater personal mastery and excellence?

A thoughtful gift is a manifestation of love

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“When it comes to gifts, it’s hard to overstate the value of thoughtfulness. A thoughtful gift is a manifestation of love.”

—Stephen St. Amant, artist and writer

Image from Unsplash by Hamish Duncan

I have been reading Stephen St. Amant’s daily Savenwood blog for over three years. It amazes me how he consistently comes up with thought provoking and engaging posts seven days a week.

I’ve reached out to him numerous times over the years to acknowledge his efforts and we even had a couple of zoom calls to get to know one another better. He is indeed a very thoughtful man whose daily gifts contribute greatly to those of us who look forward to his many nuggets of wisdom and insight.

EXERCISE:

I encourage you to check out and subscribe to Stephen’s blog and other creative works at savenwood.com.

Contemplation often makes life miserable

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“Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live.”

—Nicolas Chamfort, 16th Century French writer

Image from Unsplash by Lucas Vasquez

Ed Kotch was the mayor of New York City from 1978 to 1989. In his efforts to be a good mayor and serve the city well, he would often ask How am I doing? to gain feedback and enhance his efforts.

How often do you evaluate your own efforts and contemplate how you are doing? Where are you judging yourself and making comparisons to others to see how you stack up? Where is this habit causing you misery?

EXERCISE:

How would taking yourself out from under your microscope of judgement free you up to simply act more and think less about your life?

How would assuming that you are doing just fine at being who you are help you be far happier and satisfied with your life?

“Distractions! Let them come. Let them be. Let them go.”

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“Distractions! Let them come. Let them be. Let them go.”

—Culadasa, former director of the Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sangha

Image from Unsplash by Nubelson Fernandes

How many people and things are competing for your attention each day?

How many are welcome, and how many divert you from your desired paths?

Where and how do you have control — or at least significant influence — on what enters your direct and peripheral attention?

Imagine you were a healthcare professional in an emergency department, caring for people who showed up at the door. How would you triage individuals with critical needs versus those with only minor difficulties?

In each case, determining who gets immediate care and admitted to the hospital and who gets sent home is what’s important.

EXERCISE:

How do you triage the distractions that enter your world?

How would your own mental and physical health benefit from a more clearly defined method to do this?

Friday Review: Effort

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Friday Review: Effort

Where do you put in the most effort in your personal and professional lives? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Don’t forget how badly you once wanted what you have now.”

 

 

 

“Nobody notices what you do until you do not do it.”

 

 

 

“Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not.”