Tag Archives: Demp Coaching

Make visible what without you might never have been seen

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“Make visible what, without you, might never have been seen.”

—Robert Bresson, 20th Century French Film Director

Today’s quote reminds me of “Our Deepest Fear” by Marianne Williamson in her work A Return to Love. It is often incorrectly attributed to Nelson Mandela.

I thought sharing these words in their entirety might stir something in you, even if you are familiar with this wisdom.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

EXERCISE:

Where and how will you generously, courageously, and visibly contribute your unique and special qualities and talents to the world?

A Person Who Buys Excuses

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“A person who buys excuses will soon attempt to sell them to others.”

—Orrin Woodward, Author and Chairman of Board of Life

A wise coach once told me that no results and a good excuse still produced no results. What is your relationship with making or receiving excuses, personally or professionally?

For some it appears as a Get-Out-of-Jail Card, like in a Monopoly game, where we expect a free pass. For others it is to sail through obstacles or barriers simply because we had good intentions.

EXERCISE:

What would be the benefit or value of limiting or eliminating the buying and selling of excuses? In what specific situation or with what specific person could you begin this practice today?

Outer Order Contributes to Inner Calm

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“Outer order contributes to inner calm.”

—Gretchen Rubin, American Author and Speaker

Image of person in blue genie costume

image from YasminK

Consider the following life situations:

  • Finding something to wear in a cluttered closet
  • An e-mail or voice mail box filled to capacity
  • A dirty car, inside and out
  • Desperately needing a haircut
  • An unbalanced checkbook
  • Kids toys or clothing on the floor

Imagine having a genie, and that you can rub a lamp or snap your fingers and instantly all situations are in order. What happens to your heart rate, level of stress, or sense of general well-being?

EXERCISE:

Where would spending a little effort or even a bit of money bring greater order and a stronger calmness to your worlds?

Please also consider exploring the numerous resources available through Gretchen Rubin’s website.

The Law of Impermanence

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“Everything comes to pass; nothing comes to stay.”

—Matthew Flickstein, teacher of insight meditation

What do weekends, holidays, vacations, and happy times have in common?

What do colds, the flu, Mondays, and boring meetings have in common?

What does the first list have in common with the second?

If your answer was that they all come and go, do not last, or that, in mindfulness terms, they are impermanent, you are correct.

Whether you are happy that certain events occurred, or are sad they have come to an end, the law of impermanence is something of which you can be certain.

EXERCISE:

How can you apply the law of impermanence in your personal or professional worlds in the days and weeks ahead? How might that maximize the Ups and minimize the Downs of life?

Build a Future

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“Build a future – don’t just polish the past.”

—Author Unknown

New or Improved? Which of these words conveys the most energy for you?

Both words are often used in advertising and marketing to declare some advantage in a product or service category.

Where are you currently creating something new? In my observations, I see most people (including myself) maintaining the stats quo, simply polishing those things we have already done to brighten our lives a bit.

Creating something entirely new is often a messy process and can look like it is more trouble than it is worth due to the frustration and discouragement that can accompany the effort.

EXERCISE:

Where can and will you build a better future by creating something entirely new in either your personal or professional life, and not just polish your past?

Friday Review on Setbacks

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FRIDAY REVIEW: Setbacks

We all experience setbacks now and then. Here are a few setback-related posts you may have missed. Click to read the full message.

 

“Temporary setbacks boost your skill to open locks with previously unknown combinations.”

 

 

 

“Their ‘Can’t’ is my trumpet.”

 

 

 

“The darkest nights produce the brightest stars.”

 

 

 

Live today so your memories will reward you tomorrow

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“Live today so your memories will reward you tomorrow.”

—Author Unknown


Among all the capabilities of our smart phones, perhaps no other application provides more value and long-term enjoyment than the camera. If charged, the phones are always ready to capture life’s wonderful and memorable moments.

Recently, my wife’s phone was broken. It appeared to have lost all of her priceless photographs, including the weddings of both our children, multiple bucket-list vacations, and literally thousands of life events that have made our life so precious.

I’ve never seen her so upset. The stress compelled her to seek out a store called You Break I Fix to save her treasures. Happily, after some technological wizardry and a hefty fee, they saved the moments and days of our lives, to reward our tomorrows for years to come.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you live even more intentionally, to experience and capture more of the precious and priceless moment of your life?

Today Was Good Today Was Fun

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“Today was good, today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

—Dr. Seuss, Pen Name of Theodor Seuss Geisel

Image of Barry's Daughter, Son-in-Law, and new grandson

Rachel, Chris, and Weston

On May 17 at 1:16 am, a little miracle named Weston Luke was born, making my daughter Rachel and her husband Chris first-time parents.

It was a very, very good day, and except for the process of labor for Rachel, the excitement and fun was off the charts.

Following the birth, I took a Pop-Pop one-week Paternity Leave from work to be present for the daily changes and growth little Weston experienced with each new day. It seems we adults are far more present to and aware of even the slightest change in newborns than those in our own lives.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you more fully appreciate all the good and fun each day presents, with the intent and hope that tomorrow will be another one?

If You are Not Willing to Learn

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“If you are not willing to learn no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.”

—Zig Ziglar, 20th Century American Motivational Speaker

Image of a man holding a large lightbulb

Image from Unsplash by Riccardo Annandale

The term “Coach-ability” is used frequently in my profession.

Individuals who are coachable have a voracious appetite for their own growth and development, a passion for learning, and of course, an open and receptive disposition.

Perhaps no other mindset or quality is attributed to achieving greater success than having this unstoppable determination to advance oneself and the world at large.

The technical term for trying to coach, teach, or mentor another individual who is close and unwilling to receive assistance, on the other hand, is “nagging.”

Only you and your perceptual filters can seek and find the coaching from others and the world around you. After all, being nagged by those hoping to contribute to you is a real drag.

Please conserve your energies and efforts with others in your communities that see you this way.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you be far more open and receptive to the contribution of others, and learn all you can from these relationships?

How can you facilitate and engender greater coach-ability and subsequent learning with others in your personal and professional communities?

A Question is a Magnet

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“A question is a magnet… it draws information to you.”

—Author Unknown

Image of a man hiding in a box

Image from blibli.com

Children love the game of Hide and Seek. They are always curious about their surroundings. If you have been around kids lately, you have most likely been the recipient of a barrage of questions. They are human sponges, hoping to absorb as much information as possible to seek the hidden mysteries of their worlds.

Powerful questions are among the most important tools used by coaches, leaders, managers, parents, and other supportive individuals. Open-ended questions – those which cannot be answered with simple “yes” or “no” – tend to be the most magnetic.

EXERCISE:

How can you exercise and discover more of your own youthful curiosity to seek and find more answers to life’s most urgent and important questions?

One of my favorite books on this subject is A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger.