#96: “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out…”

“… It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

– Albert Schweitzer, humanitarian

Have you ever noticed how life has lots of ups and downs? We experience the glories of victory – and the agonies of defeat.

We have heard the life phrase “this too shall pass.” We eventually find our footing from our low points – and are brought down to earth from the peaks of life’s mountains.

This quote is about the special people in our lives that bring out our very best and ignite the fullest possibilities of living.

Exercise:

Who are the advisors, mentors, coaches, family members and friends that provide you with this spark?

Have you thanked them lately?

Where could you help rekindle the fires of others?

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Examine the contents, not the bottle

“Examine the contents, not the bottle.”

—The Talmud, the central text of mainstream Judaism

Image of dusty wine bottles

Photo by Marco Mornati on Unsplash

We all know the adages, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and “Discover the beauty within.”

It is so much easier, though, to use first impressions to make quick decisions – and rarely do we ever get the full story. When this happens in our interactions with other people, we refer to these as shallow or superficial relationships.

Only when we look deeper can we fully grasp the full value and the potential that lies within others.

Exercise:

How would taking the time to examine the contents of another person’s character lead you to a more fulfilling life?

With whom in your worlds have you only scratched the surface?

#84: “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.”

– Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States

I like bargains and two-for-one sales. This quote is a three-for-one! In Ben Franklin’s time, the word “vices” perhaps meant “behaviors that do not better oneself or another.” Today, I suggest we consider the word “habits” instead.

The idea of being a better person points to our ability to learn, grow, and improve as individuals.

Exercise:

What habits/vices will you declare war upon? Which relationships in your life are ones where you will make a stand for peace? In what ways do you intend to be a better person next year, versus today?

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#79: “Love the giver more than the gift.”

– Brigham Young

I read the book The Five Love Languages many years ago, to enhance my relationship with my wife. I often recommend it to my coaching clients, to help them better understand their partners. The gist of the book is that we have different ways of showing love to one another. We almost always choose to show love in the same way that we like to receive it.

By tuning into one another’s offerings of love, we can embrace these gifts in the way they are intended – instead of missing the message because we’re simply not speaking the same love language.

Exercise:

How could you fully love the givers in your life by fully embracing every gift they have to offer, in their language?

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#74: “Friendship is a soul dwelling in two bodies.”

– Aristotle

In my first career, I was a science teacher. I have always been fascinated by what makes things work.

When we shift our perspective from the macro to the micro, the rules really get strange: consider the infinite universe and the infinitely small quantum world. I like the thought that there is some unifying force that holds everything together in some way.

I consider friendships and close, caring relationships as a place where we get to experience this special magical force. We can’t see it, but we have that deep, soulful feeling it is there.

Exercise:

Examine your very special relationships and their soulful quality and determine how you can take this experience to an even higher level.

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You can’t help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself.

“You can’t help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself.”

– H. Norman Schwarzkopf, US Army General

Image of a team of mountain climbers

Image from Unsplash by Diogo Tavares

When I was a young boy, my mother would always tell my sister to take me with her. I liked being with the big kids, and I really liked feeling included.

Today, I focus much of my life on helping others grow both professional and personally. Through this process, I’ve had the great fortune of meeting many wonderful people, and have gained much satisfaction through my efforts. I also found that I too got “closer to the top” in the priority areas of my own life.

Exercise:

Where could you advise, mentor, or coach others in your life?

How can you expect to benefit through your generosity and care?

#34: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

– Mahatma Gandhi, pacifist leader of Indian independence movement

We’ve all heard many similar quotes that speak to this truth, such as “givers gain” or “shift your life from success to significance.” I really like the idea of losing oneself in a good way: in order to find our flow, our true north, and our purpose.

When I give, I grow; I feel like I’m living a more expansive and true life. When I get, I feel good, but it’s not the same. When I do get, I am sure to take note of the pleasure and joy that the process offers for the giver.

Exercise:

Where can you serve and both lose yourself and find yourself at the same time?

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help people realize their value

“As human beings, our job is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has – or ever will have – something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”

– Fred Rogers, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood

When my children were very young, Mister Rogers was a show we often skipped in favor of the Rugrats or Sesame Street. I regret that I rarely watched an episode – if only I knew he had so much to say.

What parent doesn’t want their children to help and encourage others, to discover their own unique abilities, and to make a contribution to the world?

Maybe I should look for the reruns or at least bring the wisdom of this quote to my daily life.

Exercise:

What actions will you take by bringing a little Mister Rogers into your heart and home?

 

Mother Theresa Kind Words

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

– Mother Teresa, Nobel Peace Prize winner

If you too are fond of quotes, you will most likely agree that words are powerful.

The book Power Vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins demonstrates that kindness and love resonate at the highest possible frequencies. When we stand for something and others stand with us, we create an unbreakable human bond that can stand any test.

Exercise:

Notice the words that you and others use. By using a greater number of positive words – and fewer negative ones – you add to the resonant echoes that will last and endure.

#28: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions…”

“…Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

– Mark Twain, author and humorist

It seems to be everywhere. Maybe it is in the water supply, or even in the air we breathe. I’m referring to the need we have to be right, and to make others with different beliefs wrong.

Some people get a huge pay off from belittling others, and do not see the high cost they pay in dysfunctional relationships and toxic communities.

When we make a small but fundamental shift to a “try it on” attitude, we can find the good and valuable in what others think and have to say.

Exercise:

Who have you been making wrong or belittling lately?

By looking for what’s great about them, you will find your own greatness.

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