Tag Archives: The Quotable Coach

Never Quit

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“Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.”

—Douglas MacArthur, American five-star General and Field Marshal

My Dad, Marvin Demp

My Dad, Marvin Demp

I recently spent some time with my extended family in the Philadelphia area, due to the passing of my brother-in-law Arthur. One benefit of this sad time was the gathering of everyone to celebrate his remarkable life and to reconnect with one another.

During this time we visited with family from the age of one  – little Noah –  to my dad Marvin, age eighty-eight. Some of the discussions we had related to the changing phases in all of our lives, including a few wrinkles, an extra pound or two, and a little more grey hair.

I was delighted to see everyone still fully engaged in life — not a wrinkled soul in the bunch!

Exercise:

How can you stay fully engaged in your life, avoid wrinkles of your soul, and remain forever young – no matter what your age?

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

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“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” – Anne Frank, diarist and Holocaust victim

Photo from Flickr by Symphony of Love
Photo from Flickr by Symphony of Love

If you happen to watch the news these days, it sure looks like the world could use some improving. You might ask yourself, “Who am I to tackle such a matter? I am only one person in the world and its challenges seem infinite.”

One strategy that comes to mind is related to that old saying, “How do you eat an elephant?” If you’ve never heard this before, the answer is, “One bite at a time.”

Exercise:

Examine the areas of your own life, including your health, your family, your local community, your workplace, and others that come to mind where you can seize this moment to take a small or big bite and improve your piece of the world.

If we all did this together each day, imagine how much the whole world would improve.

“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem and a concerned person solves a problem.”

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“There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem and a concerned person solves a problem.”

—Harold Stephens, American Author

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Image from Flickr by Debs

Have you ever watched a mouse racing around one of those circular wheels, never getting anywhere? They run and run and always end up in the same place. Alternatively, think about running on a treadmill. We get all worked up and sweaty, but find ourselves in the same place.

Worry is like that. In this case, the treadmills are in our minds. Concern, on the other hand, seems to have more of a mobilizing quality that takes us out of our heads and off those treadmills so we can set out on a journey to an eventual solution.

Exercise:

Where would a shift from worry to concern mobilize your thoughts and actions toward a successful solution in some important professional or personal issue today?

 

“The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.”

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“The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.”

– Vince Lombardi, American football coach

Image of a man standing on a mountain top

Image from Flickr by Matty Bishwam

When I think of mountain climbers, I think of people pursuing adventures and challenging themselves to achieve a new level of greatness or accomplishment.

Take a look at your own progress towards the summits of your professional and personal goals.

Exercise:

Are you getting where you want to go? Have your mountains recently been more like molehills?

What planning is required and what people or gear will you need to achieve the satisfaction of reaching the top of your most important life summits?

“You don’t live in a world all alone. Your brothers are here too.”

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“You don’t live in a world all alone. Your brothers are here too.”

– Albert Schweitzer, German theologian and philosopher

Barry-Marvin-Rachel

(Me, my dad Marvin, and my daughter Rachel.)

My family and I recently had a vacation in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania. This year, some additional friends came along to make it extra special. Of particular note were some of the many things we accomplished together to truly make our time a community affair.

In additional to numerous routine tasks, such as the preparation of meals and some cleaning and organizing projects, we supported my father Marvin (who is 88 today) on a three hour, six mile canoe ride down the Delaware river, and even took him to Camelbeach Waterpark where he experienced the adventure of some pretty thrilling water slides.

Exercise:

Where are you acting alone in the world and thus not achieving your fullest potential?

Where would supporting or working with others have you achieve even more remarkable things in your professional or personal life?

no matter where you go, there you are

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“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”

– Confucius, Chinese philosopher

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Image from Flickr by docoverachiever

As a positive, optimistic, and upbeat person most of the time, it troubles me to see a lot of negativity in the world. Two related negative traits I observe often are blaming and victimization. When people demonstrate these qualities, the focus is always on others as the cause of a problem, and themselves as innocent victims.

Confucius is suggesting, with this quote, that we are always present in these situations, and if you dig a bit deeper, a part of this current reality puzzle.

Exercise:

How can you take a larger percentage of responsibility for the events and circumstances that make up your world? Where would adjusting your perspective, attitude, or point of view provide a shift in the way that people and events affect you?

schedule your priorities

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“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule but to schedule your priorities.”

– Stephen Covey, American self-help author

Image from Flickr by photosteve101.

Image from Flickr by photosteve101.

Stephen Covey is one of the best known pioneers in the field of personal development. His Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is one of the most popular personal growth programs of all time. Four of his habits directly deal with time management, efficiency, and effectiveness.

Please explore for yourself how the following habits relate to the issue of prioritization:

Habit 1: Be Proactive:  Suggests we need to take initiative and responsibility for the choices we make and the order in which we make them.

Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind: Encourages us to prioritize and schedule what’s important and not simply schedule and prioritize what’s urgent.

Habit 3: Put First Things First: Pretty much says it all!!

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw: Encourages us to make ourselves a key priority that will allow all other priorities to benefit.

Exercise:

Evaluate your calendar and any to-do lists you may be using to manage your day. How can you schedule your most important priorities and do less of what’s “on your schedule”?

You’re welcome to download a free copy of my time management workbook at:

www.dempcoaching.com/download-your-free-workbooks

Enter the password barrydemp (all lower case) to access the page.

Of course, I also recommend you read or reread The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. If you want a quick refresher, you can find a brief explanation of each habit here.

 

When no one is watching

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“The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”

– John Wooden, American basketball coach

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mage from Flickr by Arlington County

I was enterprising as a young boy. At age 11, I mowed lawns during summer and shoveled snow during winter to earn money to purchase things I wanted. One winter day, I was headed out to shovel snow in our neighborhood, and my dad asked me to shovel our elderly next door neighbor’s sidewalk and not charge for the effort.

I must admit I hemmed and hawed, thinking this request unfair, and I remember my dad’s words, “It will build your character.” To this day, I can’t lift a shovel of snow without those words running through my mind.

Exercise:

What are the things you do or could do, without anyone knowing, that contribute to your character?

If you happen to be a coach, mentor, parent, teacher, or other service-oriented individual, how can you share today’s nugget of wisdom with the coach-able people in your life?

“Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.”

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“Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.”

—T. Harv Eker, author, businessman and motivational speaker

Image from Flickr by Tree Leaf Clover

When was the last time you had a cold? I bet there was a good chance you know who passed it on to you. The energy generated by those around us can have a similar impact on our health, well-being, and overall disposition.

Which people in your life give you that pick-me-up feeling? Which ones seem to suck the life out of you and make you feel ill, due to their negativity?

Exercise:

Create a list of people in your personal and professional life that you would place on either the positive or negative ends of the energy spectrum. Make an effort to only allow yourself to be “zapped” and not “sapped” as you adjust whom you spend your time with.

Extra credit: A quick and easily read book on the subject, particularly in a business context, is Zapp! The Lightning of Empowerment. Reading it will also help you become more of a “zapper” and less of a “sapper” in the lives of others.

light where there is none

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“An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?”

– René Descartes, French philosopher and mathematician (attrib.)

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Image from Flickr by spcbrass

One of my favorite books that supports effective interpersonal and group communications is Six Thinking Hats, by Edward de Bono.

In his model, a “yellow hat” represents the optimistic individual who sees the light of possibility in things. The pessimist or “black hat” represents the negative perception on matters that often stops progress.

Of course there are four more hats to explore in our journey to more effective individual and group thinking, and I encourage you to pursue these as part of the following exercise.

Exercise:

What percentage of the time do you wear the yellow and black hats in your professional and personal interactions?

How can you increase your emphasis on the sunny side of things and diminish or remove that dark cloud that extinguishes the light of possibility?

You can find a one-page pdf summary about the six hats here, and you may wish to explore “putting on” one or more of the others: www.foodsec.org/DL/course/shortcourseFK/en/pdf/trainerresources/PG_SixThinkingHats.pdf