“I am more distress-avoidant than I am joy-seeking.”

“I am more distress-avoidant than I am joy-seeking.”

—Malcolm Gladwell, Canadian journalist, Author, and public speaker

“Creative Tension” is a term coined by Robert Fritz in his book The Path of Least Resistance from the late 1980s.

Essentially, it describes the tension that exists between our perception of our current reality and our vision for the future. Fritz points to the desirable and attractive nature of a committed vision, which draw or pulls our reality closer to it.

A common example of this phenomenon is the TGIF (Thank Goodness It’s Friday) approach many people experience as they look toward the weekend. Unfortunately, this concept also applies to the less desirable future which many people experience Sunday night if the prospects of Monday morning are experienced with apathy or dread.

EXERCISE:

To what degree are you more joy-seeking than distress-avoidant in your personal and professional lives? What actions can and will you take to intentionally design more positive experiences in the days, weeks, and years ahead?

“Life is a series of moments. If you miss the moments, you miss your life.”

“Life is a series of moments. If you miss the moments, you miss your life.”

—Robin Sharma, Author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari series

Image of Sam Horn's "someday is not a day of the week" book cover

Image from Amazon

Someday is not a Day in the Week: 10 Hacks to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life, is Sam Horn’s newest book.

Sam is one of the reasons my book, The Quotable Coach – Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom, became a reality.

In 2013, I had the opportunity to spend two full days in her home, along with a dozen other lucky – or shall I say, committed – individuals who wanted to launch special projects and not wait for “someday.”

Her many personal stories and experiences fully demonstrate, and will inspire you to seize each day as precious moments not to be missed.

EXERCISE:

Consider watching Sam’s TEDx South Lake Tahoe talk. What one dream have you been putting off for “someday” that you will act upon today?

 

“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than Your I.Q.”

“Your ‘I Can’ is more important than your I.Q.”

—Robin Sharma, Author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari series

Image of the book cover of "The Little Engine that Could"

The Little Engine that Could is an American fairy tale that became widely known in the 1930s. Through an online poll of teachers, The National Education Association rated it as one of the Top 100 books for children, because of its key message of the importance of optimism and hard work.

The story’s signature phrase, I Think I Can is a key memory I have from childhood on the importance of self belief and self determination. My wife Wendy and I did our best to instill this concept in both our children.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would a bunch more “I can” and “I know you can” statements support greater achievement and life satisfaction in your personal and professional communities?

Here is a short video if you wish to recapture the memory or share it with someone you love.

Friday Review of Posts about Beauty

FRIDAY REVIEW: BEAUTY

How do you define beauty? Here are a few beauty-related posts you may have missed. Click the link to read the full message.

 

“Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.”

 

 

 

“Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside.”

 

 

 

“There is nothing that makes its way more directly to the soul than beauty.”

 

 

 

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.”

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.”

—Warren Buffett, chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway

Image of the USS Nimitz anchor

Image of USS Nimitz anchor from wikimedia

The USS Nimitz aircraft carrier needed some maintenance a few years ago. As part of this effort, the crew had to move its 60,000 pound anchor, and its 57-link chain. Each link weighs 350 pounds. Doing the math, each 90-foot “shot” of chain weighs about 20,000 pounds! By the way, it takes twelve “shots” collectively to hold this anchor.

What are the heavy chains of habit you have yet to break? Consider past New Year’s resolutions that started with enthusiasm and petered out come February.

The good news in that, as in the case with the Nimitz, when the crew came together they were able to move the heavy chains and anchor to get the job done. So can we.

EXERCISE:

Who are the supportive and helpful crew members on your personal and professional ships? How can they help you notice and become more aware of your habits early on, when they aren’t so heavy a burden?

“Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.”

“Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.”

—William Arthur Ward, 20th Century American Author

Image of a small candle burning

Image from Unsplash by Chirag K

There’s a lot of chemistry and physics behind the beauty and light of a candle flame.

Essentially, all waxes are hydrocarbons that, when heated, become vaporized when the flame melts the wax near the wick.

The wick’s key purpose is to draw up the liquid wax by capillary action, similar to a tree drawing up water and nutrients from its roots to its leaves.

EXERCISE:

What are some ways you can fan the flame of curiosity to take your personal and professional learning efforts to the next level?

“If the pieces do not fit into your puzzle… try a different picture.”

“If the pieces do not fit into your puzzle… try a different picture.”

—Cass van Krah, British Artist

Image of a mandala puzzle

Image from Unsplash by Sheldon Nunes

What do you wish to change about your life? Look around your personal and professional worlds to see where things just don’t fit together as you would like.

For a fair percentage of my coaching clients, the focus is often on their current vocational efforts. They feel their current reality and path lack the passion and purpose they desire.

Working on a “Plan B,” in which their strengths, unique abilities, interests, and of course, core values, can be fully expressed has become their quest.

EXERCISE:

What personal and professional transitions do you wish to make in the next year or two? How can you share this intention with friends, family, mentors, and perhaps a coach, to help you create a new picture for your life?

Friday Review: Attraction

FRIDAY REVIEW: ATTRACTION

What are the things, characteristics, and ideas that attract you? What about you attracts others? Here are a few attraction-related posts you may have missed. Click the links to read the full message.

 

“Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door.”

 

 

 

“To have what you want, don’t want it—give it.”

 

 

 

 

“Be the flame, not the moth.”

 

 

 

 

“When you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting.”

“When you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting.”

—Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, scientist, writer, and meditation teacher

Image of a woman looking bored

Image from Unsplash by Callie Morgan

Did you know that there are three types of boredom, each involving problems of engagement and attention? They are times when:

  • We are prevented from engaging in desired activities
  • We are forced to participate in unwanted activities
  • We are simply unable – for whatever reason – to maintain our level of engagement in an activity

For some, boredom may be taken as the essential human condition to which God, Wisdom, or Morality are the ultimate answer. Many sources note that boredom can be a dangerous and disruptive state of mind that can negatively influence our health. Meanwhile, some research suggests that without boredom we could not realize many of our most creative achievements.

EXERCISE:

Where in your personal or professional life do you find yourself over-stimulated and even a bit addicted to the attention-grabbing objects and experiences around you?

Where would seeking more quiet and even boring moments in your life be a time for renewal and personal growth?

“When people are like each other, they tend to like each other.”

“When people are like each other, they tend to like each other.”

—Tony Robbins, American author, philanthropist and life coach

Image of Jane Goodall and a chimp

Image from the Jane Goodall Collection

Did you know that humans and chimpanzees share about 96 percent of the same DNA? Perhaps this is why we enjoy documentaries on these special creatures. When we observe them, we see numerous ways we are alike, such as in the care and nurturing of baby chimps.

Regarding human-to-human interactions, we often operate out of the Birds of a Feather Flock Together idea. At the same time, we can be very focused on where and how we differ as reasons to avoid, dislike, and even hate one another.

EXERCISE:

How would looking for the similarities and common characteristics and traits of others be the source of more friendships and closer communities in your world?