Friday Review Behavior

FRIDAY REVIEW: Behavior

What do your behaviors say about you? Here are a few behavior-related posts you may have missed. Click on the Quote to read the full message:

QC #1065a

 

     “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

 

 

 

image of daisies

“We have a tendency to want the other person to be a finished product while we give ourselves the grace to evolve.”

 

 

 

QC #1065c

 

“Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack.”

 

 

 

 

The Real Question is not

“The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before your death.”

—Osho, Mystic Guru and Spiritual Leader

Image of Osho

Image from znanje.org

Over twenty years ago I attended a seminar with almost 200 other people. The session leader posed the question:

Why do most people wake up in the morning?

After the audience provided all the expected responses such as to go to work, or to start the new day, he shared his own thought, which was:

People wake up in the morning because they did not die in their sleep.

When the shock of his answer dissipated from the audience, we began a most interesting and engaging inquiry into what it means to be fully alive. Common aspects of being “fully alive” included traveling, learning, extraordinary relationships, spiritual pursuits, and making a bigger difference in the world.

EXERCISE:

What adjustments and changes are you willing to make in your life to cause you to enthusiastically and energetically bound out of bed each morning?

What one action will you take immediately to build this into a life-changing habit?

necessary to let things go

“You will find that it is necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy.”

—C. JoyBell C., American Philosophical Author

image of a downward scale

Image from csuiteinsider.com

I recently met two remarkable women at an event. Sam was one of the featured speakers at the event, and Pat was an event participant, as was I. They both shared their wondrous—and independent—stories of letting go of their possessions to travel the world more lightly.

Beyond the excitement and vitality conveyed in their adventures was the amazing, contagious impact the otters people at the conference experienced in hearing their stories. Many were inspired to “downsize” one or more aspect of their lives.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you release and let go of the people and things that weigh down your life?

Select at least one specific action you will take within the next 24 hours to begin to lighten your load, and consider responding to this post with your decision.

Heated Situations

“When you want to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department uses water.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by Jeshua.nace

Image from Flickr by Jeshua.nace

When was the last time you were in a heated argument with tempers flaring and things getting out of control? If you cannot recall a specific event, just turn on a local, national, or global news program to see plenty of examples!

Rarely do such interactions result in win/win outcomes. Most of the time, we are left with win/lose or lose/lose results.

When we consider how to put out undesirable fires, all we need to do is take a bit of coaching from professional fire-fighters: use water to reduce the temperature of burning materials and extinguish the flame.

EXERCISE:

What new and more constructive ways of dealing with heated situations can you find to produce a better result for everyone involved?

Small Minds

“Don’t let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big.”

-Zig Ziglar, late American author and motivational speaker

image from theproductivtypro.com

image from theproductivtypro.com

Who are some of the small-minded people in your personal or professional worlds? What qualities or characteristics have you assigned to them? See how many of the following qualities describe those who appear to have diminishing or completely crushing the dreams of others as their purpose:

Antagonistic Righteous Fear-Based
Condescending Oppositional Aloof
Perfectionism Judgmental Overly Aggressive
Controlling Critical Unethical
Combative Wishy-Washy Disrespectful
Temperamental Pessimistic Arrogant
Volatile Uncooperative Dishonest

EXERCISE:

How can you reduce or eliminate the small-minded people in your world, and replace them or attract more big-minded people to support your biggest personal and professional dreams?

Consider making a list of the big-minded qualities and characteristics to help you recognize these folks when you meet or see them.

Is the Glass Half Empty

“People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.”

—simon sinek, speaker and author

 

Image from breacan.org.au

Image from breacan.org.au

Imagine you have an entire month to take the road trip of your life, anywhere you wish. You have just won the use of a large luxury mobile home or recreational vehicle. The only limitation is that you were only given half a tank of fuel.

Of course, we can look on the bright side of things to estimate how far we could go, or we can be upset given the limited range available for this adventure. This view of things seems silly knowing that we always have the ability to top off the tank anytime we wish.

EXERCISE:

Where in either your professional or personal worlds are you operating with the half full or half empty perspective?  What would be possible if you assumed an attitude of overflowing abundance instead?

“A bad attitude is like…”

“A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can’t go anywhere until you change it.”

-Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Paul Chenoweth

Photo from Flickr by Paul Chenoweth

Take a minute to list the people in your personal and professional worlds that have a bad attitude. If you need a bit of help, consider their level of negativity, pessimism, sarcasm, skepticism, and general resignation.

Have you captured your list of half-empty, no possibility, “what’s the use” folks? Now see how much you enjoy their company, or working with them. Where, if possible, have you already headed for the hills or done what you can to avoid these people?

What are the chances selected individuals in your world might be placing you on their list?

EXERCISE:

Although changing other people’s flat tires is tremendously difficult, you do have a far better fighting chance of changing your own. Consider the resources at www.lifehack.org to take a few simple steps to begin.

A bonus is that your own efforts will tend to inflate other people’s tires in the process!

“The bias against introversion leads to…”

“The bias against introversion leads to a colossal waste of talent, energy, and happiness.”

—Susan Horowitz Cain, American writer and lecturer

Image from christiehartman.com

Image from christiehartman.com

We’re all familiar with the phrase, “Out of Sight, Out of Mind.” To gain anyone’s attention these days, it is critical to be louder, bolder, and more outrageous than ever.

Look at those who have the attention of traditional media, and of course, social media. Looking into our organizations and institutions, we also see a good bit of bias toward extroverts rather than introverts. In some cases, introverts have been encouraged to “fake it till we make it.”

EXERCISE:

Consider exploring the book Quiet by Susan Horowitz Cain. I love the subtitle of this work, which is, “The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking,” to see what is being wasted.

Cain also has a TED talk you will find revealing if you have 15-20 minutes.

“The Things You Say About Others…”

“The things you say about others, also say a lot about you.”

—Mark Amend, American Poet

Image from 8tracks.com

Image from 8tracks.com

We have all heard the phrase “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

As you observe your own behavior and that of others, how well do you think we are living by these words? What is your opinion of others who always seem to be putting others down, or sharing a critical, negative perspective, whether asked or not?

EXERCISE:

Examine the things you say about others, or better yet, ask others to share their objective observation about your behavior in this area. What does this say about you, and what modifications are needed to receive a far better appraisal?

The Seeds You Plant

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant.”

– Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish novelist and poet

image from Flickr by Andrew Shieh

image from Flickr by Andrew Shieh

Harvest time is only a small part of the growing season. My wife and I grew tomatoes last summer, and really enjoyed harvesting them at the end of August.

The process of growing them, though, was a bit more involved and time consuming than we expected. It included purchasing seeds, preparing the soil, watering, providing sunlight, adding plant food, watering, adding more plant food, more watering… you get the idea!

Exercise:

What seeds can you plant today? What care and attention will they need daily, so that you can have a successful harvest in the future?

Make sure you enjoy the process of gardening and not just the sweet fruits of life.