Category Archives: Relationships

Family, friends, or phone. Which one is your top priority?

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Family, friends, or phone. Which one is your top priority?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Slavcho Malezan

Today’s quote challenges us to reflect on our true connections.

While our smartphones seem to keep us constantly connected, they can often create distance from the people who matter most.

Prioritizing meaningful relationships over screen time fosters deeper bonds, emotional support, and lasting memories.

It’s easy to be distracted by notifications, but real-life interactions nourish our well-being in ways a phone never can.

EXERCISE:

To what degree are you hugging your phone more often than family and friends?

What strategies can and will you put in place to show these important people that they come first?

“Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing.”

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“Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing.”

—Robin Williams, late American actor and comedian

Image from Unsplash by Clay Banks

In today’s digital age, remote collaboration is common, but nothing quite matches the energy of being in the same room with others.

When people gather physically, ideas flow more freely, creativity sparks, and connections deepen.

Shared spaces foster spontaneous conversations, rapid problem solving, and genuine teamwork that virtual meetings often lack.

Being together allows for immediate feedback, body language cues, and a sense of camaraderie that fuels motivation.

Handshakes, knowing smiles, and embraces to celebrate successes also do much to build and keep our tribes working together.

EXERCISE:

Consider reading The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups by Daniel Coyle to enhance group collaboration and create more good things in your communities.

“Does the other person want to be helped, hugged, or heard?”

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“Does the other person want to be helped, hugged, or heard?”

—Charles Duhigg, American journalist and non-fiction author

Image from Unsplash by Justin Follis

This quote was brought to my attention by Rohan Rajiv, who has been writing the wonderful daily blog “A Learning a Day” for over 16 years.

Since most of us are in conversations throughout our days, I found this question to be an excellent framework to enhance my many relationships — including in my work as a coach.

If we determine that an individual is seeking to be helped, they are most likely seeking advice and solutions to specific problems with concrete actions.

The people in our lives looking for hugs emphasize the desire for social connections, validation, and sense of love and belonging.

Although we all like to be heard, these folks in particular have a strong need to be understood and want to be supported emotionally without being offered direct advice and solutions.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you keep Duhigg’s question in mind as you interact with the people in your professional and personal communities? How clear are you about your own wants and needs to be helped, hugged, and heard?

“Innovation happens not within but between brains.”

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“Innovation happens not within but between brains.”

—Matt Ridley, British science writer, journalist and businessman

Image from Unsplash by Brooke Cagle

Today’s quote encapsulates Ridley’s views on collective intelligence and the collaborative nature of innovation. It emphasizes that innovation is not primarily the result of individual genius, but rather a product of human interaction and the exchange of ideas.

How often do you find yourself working alone, wracking your brain to solve a particular problem?

How frequently do you feel that if you seek or accept assistance from others your achievements are less worthy of recognition?

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you tap into many more brains within your personal and professional communities to accomplish far more than going it alone?  Remember that even the Lone Ranger had Tonto!

Some people are worth melting for

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“Some people are worth melting for.”

—Olaf, in the film Frozen

Image from Unsplash by Miriam Gilles

Here in the Northeastern United States there is always the potential for a bit or bunch of the white stuff as we enter the winter months.

If you happen to enjoy holiday movies you may have seen one of my family’s favorites: Frosty the Snowman. There is a particular scene where Frosty shows his wiliness to melt. He enters a greenhouse to save his friend Karen from freezing, to demonstrate his love and his willingness to sacrifice everything for her.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life worth melting for? How does realizing the importance of these people give your life greater meaning and purpose?

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

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“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

—Audrey Hepburn, 20th Century British Actress

Image from Unsplash by Susan G. Kamen 3-day

In the wake of October’s hurricanes, many people have lost everything — including loved ones.

When some of these individuals are interviewed about the devastation many still remain positive and grateful
to be alive and get right to work helping their neighbors and others in their communities.

Although these forces of nature can sweep away and destroy many things, it’s heartwarming to realize that the best things in life are not things.

EXERCISE:

How do you demonstrate to your loved ones that they are the most precious gifts in your life?

Take a plunge into your senses

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Take a plunge into your senses. Note what you are seeing, feeling, hearing, tasting, and hearing. What is the present moment offering you to experience more fully?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Aaron Burden

Autumn is a perfect time to plunge into your senses. It’s not too hot or too cold to get outside and appreciate mother nature in all her glory.

Consider taking a walk outside at different times of the day from before dawn to after dusk to experience all the sights, sounds, and sensations available.

Be sure to leave your phone at home and consider traveling alone at a leisurely pace to take in and savor all the wonders many of us often rush past.

Make a few stops along your way to turn around and look up and down so as to not miss out on the show the world is always offering.

EXERCISE:

Share your adventure with someone close to you and consider taking them along on your next sensory outing to offer them a taste of the gift you just received!

Notice and embrace the complexity of your humanness

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Notice and embrace the complexity of your humanness. Let everything be as it is. It makes you interesting.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Joseph Malone

How often do you find yourself puzzled by the people in your life? Look over the spectrum of folks from young to old in your communities.

What makes each of them tick? Isn’t it interesting — once we think we know — when they surprise us by going in another direction?

Instead of trying to put these people puzzles together and have things fit into our own world view, perhaps we can simply be happy to have others in our life to keep us on our toes.

EXERCISE:

To what degree do you accept and embrace the complexities of the people around you?

How would doing so with curiosity and openness make the world a far more interesting place for everyone?

Relationship are all there is

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“Relationship are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else.”

—Margaret Wheatley, American writer, teacher, speaker, and management consultant

Image from Unsplash by Greg Rakozy

Margaret Wheatley’s work focuses on creating organizations and communities “worthy of human habitation” by drawing from various disciplines including organizational behavior, chaos theory, living systems science, and ancient spiritual traditions.

In recent years, she has been discussing civilization collapse and encouraging people to become “spiritual warriors” in response to current challenges.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you become a spiritual warrior along with Margaret Wheatley, to foster healthier and happier relationships in your various communities?

Let go of the need to be understood by everyone

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Let go of the need to be understood by everyone. Who are the people that really matter? How can you express your thoughts and feelings even better to enhance these relationships?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Duy Pham

With the advent of social media, many people have shifted to quantity instead of quality in their relationships.

More likes, friends, and followers appear to be how some folks keep score.

I like the idea of digging one well 1,000 feet deep to tap into the aquifers of life instead of digging 1,000 wells one foot deep and coming up dry.

EXERCISE:

Building relationships takes time. Where and with whom are you taking the time to unearth the deep and meaningful relationships you most desire?