“When you counsel someone, you should appear to be

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“When you counsel someone, you should appear to be reminding him of something he had forgotten, not of the light he was unable to see.”

—Baltasar Gracian, 17th Century Spanish Jesuit philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Nik MacMillan

Coach-ability is the quality of openness and receptivity an individual has to the input, ideas, and general support of another individual or experience.

We all wish to be helpful and contribute to others, but on some occasions our intentions seem to miss the mark or can be dismissed or rejected.

Encouragement and enrolling an individual in being far more receptive and coach-able works better when their own thoughts and ideas are brought forth or drawn out, rather than simply showing them the light of our wisdom.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life have your efforts to counsel others fallen on deaf ears? Who in your various professional or personal communities is dulling their axe on you? How would the wisdom of today’s quote generate far more coach-ability and progress through these valuable interactions?

“The years teach much which the days never know.”

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“The years teach much which the days never know.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th Century American essayist, philosopher, poet

Image from Unsplash by Christopher Burns

If you take a close look at our beautiful Earth and have done some traveling, you will have likely enjoyed Mother Nature’s magnificence.

Consider the sculpting power of wind, water, ice, the tectonic forces below us, and how they have all shaped our world for 4.5 billion years.

Occasionally, and perhaps a bit more often these days, we see dramatic examples of Mother Nature’s power. However, it may be her patience and ongoing work over years, decades, centuries, and millennium in which we can most fully appreciate her masterpiece.

EXERCISE:

How can you more fully appreciate your own daily efforts as the sculpting tools they represent in designing and crafting the future you desire?

FRIDAY REVIEW: RENEWAL

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FRIDAY REVIEW: RENEWAL

What do you do to renew and rejuvenate yourself? Here are a few renewal-related posts you may have missed.

 

“The will to win … the will to achieve … goes dry and arid without continual renewal.”

 

 

 

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Never throw out anyone.”

 

 

 

“Are you doing what matters, or just reacting to the noise?”

 

 

 

 

 

“Often the relationship that needs the most work is the one we have with ourselves.”

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“Often the relationship that needs the most work is the one we have with ourselves.”

—Robert Tew, American writer

Image from Unsplash by Daniele Levis Pelusi

How much time do you spend in a typical day with your work colleagues, significant other, children, and friends?

Please do the actual math to count the hours, minutes, and perhaps even the tiny moments of your day.

If you expand days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years, what do the numbers look like?

Now you know the question is coming…

How much time do you spend alone?

Have you ever wanted to get away from yourself and realized, in particular moments, that you felt a bit trapped or stuck, and were looking for some form of escape?

EXERCISE:

Knowing that wherever you go, there you are, how and in what ways can you make this most important relationship with yourself an even higher priority each and every day?

“When you appreciate the good, the good appreciates.”

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“When you appreciate the good, the good appreciates.”

—Tal Ben-Shahar, American/Israeli author & teacher

Image from Unsplash by Nathan Lemon

On most days, and for most of my life, I’ve had a half full, positivity bias toward life.

How about you?

Although it is easy to see areas in our world that need work, I see it as all of our jobs to do this work with both body and soul. Seeing and appreciating the good in others and our world seems to have a pulling attractiveness to make things even better.

If you research what drives us, you will find considerable evidence that our ability to positively influence our communities, better ourselves personally, and have a values-centered purpose are key.

EXERCISE:

How would having a greater positivity bias help you more fully appreciate all the good in your world?

Consider the idea of keeping an appreciation or gratitude journal for a least a week to see what appreciates in your life.

“Being a nice person can be an effective strategy.”

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“Being a nice person can be an effective strategy.”

—Eric Barker, Author of BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE

Image from Unsplash by Tim Mossholder

During my senior year of high school I worked as a Deli-man at the local Jewish delicatessen. My responsibilities included serving a high volume of customers  delicacies such as pastrami, corned beef, and smoked fish for Sunday brunch, from 3pm Saturday to 3am Sunday.

I was 18 years old. The majority of the other deli-men were in their fifties or sixties. It turned out that being able to slice lox razor-thin was paramount to being a brain surgeon in this community, and these veterans were simply the best.

One downside of this work was the significant number of challenging customers who saw themselves as superior to everyone else, and demanded “only the best.”

When those customers entered the store, most of the veteran deli staff quickly took their 30-minute breaks, leaving ME to the wolves, and most of these customers strongly objected to an 18-year-old rookie taking care of them.

Clearly, fighting fire with fire was never going to work, so I took the kill them with kindness approach, and in time, won them over.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom in your personal or professional communities would being the nice person you are be the best strategy to follow?

“No one wants to be the skydiver who pulled the rip cord too late.”

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“No one wants to be the skydiver who pulled the rip cord too late.”

—Eric Barker, author of Barking up the Wrong Tree

Image from Unsplash by Kamil Pietrzak

Where has procrastination, putting things off, or just a hint of hesitation resulted in your experiencing negative consequences? Perhaps you have missed an important professional or personal opportunity?

Although delays and inaction rarely have life-threatening impact, they can chip away at our overall success, fulfillment, and life satisfaction.

Alternatively, where has acting too quickly or jumping the gun resulted in false starts, penalties, or disqualifications from important events in your life?

What value could having a far better grasp on your personal and professional timing have on your future?

EXERCISE:

Consider picking up a copy of Dan Pink’s book, When – The Scientific Secrets of Perfect  Timing – to glean a few nuggets of wisdom on this important life skill.

“Mentors are like potato chips: You can’t have just one.”

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“Mentors are like potato chips: You can’t have just one.”

—Eric Barker, author of Barking up the Wrong Tree

Image from lays.com

Whether you call them potato chips, crisps, or something else, potato chips are big business, accounting for sales north of ten billion dollars per year.

Countries around the world have unique flavors of chips – all adding to our waistlines! For example:

  • Canada: dill pickle, jalapeño, ketchup and wasabi
  • Indonesia: spicy chicken, nori seaweed, and salmon teriyaki
  • Columbia: lemon, chorizo, sirloin steak, and mushroom sauce
  • Japan: consommé, soy sauce, plum, chili, and scallop
  • United Kingdom: prawn cocktail, beef and onion, spicy sriracha, and aromatic curry

What flavors have you tried? What type of chips do you crave during those naughty moments of self indulgence?

Mentors and coaches, meanwhile, are almost always beneficial and support you in leading a happier, healthier, and more successful life.

EXERCISE:

Where might adding a few more mentors and coaches support your progress towards greater personal and professional achievement?

Even if you don’t formalize these relationships on a one-on-one level, consider the books, blogs, seminars, and other resources from such individuals and how they can support your efforts.

“There are no ‘pretty good’ alligator wrestlers.”

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“There are no ‘pretty good’ alligator wrestlers.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Essman

It’s unlikely that there is a Junior Alligator Wrestling League in your community or school system.

What parent would send their child off to such an activity, hoping they would rise in the ranks, and bring home the Champion Trophy – not to mention all their appendages?

Our world is hyper-competitive and sports include a significant risk of injury. Still, many families with an interest in fitness and athletic activities participate, knowing full well that their children are unlikely to make it to the Olympics or turn pro at some point.

Meanwhile, in the working world more and more people are finding that being only “pretty good” puts them at risk of being eaten by the alligators swimming in their vocational waters.

EXERCISE:

What efforts can and will you include in your “pretty great” developmental journey in the year ahead?