The Grand Lie

Posted on August 10, 2016 by Barry

“Perfection is the grand lie.”

-Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

Image from Flickr by ewitch

Virtually everyone I meet who is exploring a coaching relationship wants to change their lives for the better.

Many experience a fair amount of upsets in their worlds, due to unfulfilled expectations of themselves, and others.

The “Grand Lie” of perfectionism is often a significant culprit for feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness.

An alternate approach – which I have found effective and freeing – is to replace perfectionism with the pursuit of progress, so that when the day is done, what you get done is what you get done.

EXERCISE:

Where is the Grand Lie of Perfectionism preventing you from the fulfilling and satisfying life you desire? Where would the pursuit of excellence and ongoing progress serve you far better?

Seek and you shall find

Posted on August 9, 2016 by Barry

“Seek and you shall find.”

-The Bible, from the Gospel of Matthew

Image from dpselfhelp.com

When I explore possible quotes for The Quotable Coach series, I always consider impact, imagery, cleverness, and word length. Today’s quote from the Bible hit the mark on numerous fronts.

What are you looking for? Are things like success, peace of mind, balance, love, job satisfaction, and extraordinary relationships on your list?

If, for some reason, your greatest desires appear out of reach or elusive, consider the strategies you employ. One twist that often works magic is to give what you are seeking in order to find more of it for yourself.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can (and will) you passionately offer and generously share what you most sincerely desire?

Optimism is essential to achievement

Posted on August 8, 2016 by Barry

“Optimism is essential to achievement, and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress.”

-Nicholas Murray Butler, 20th Century president of the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace

Image from questionpro.com

Would you like to live a longer, happier, more fulfilling and successful life?

Over the past two decades, I’ve conducted an unscientific, subjective assessment which indicates that my more optimistic clients are more successful and fulfilled during and beyond their coaching engagements.

Other scientifically verified sources attribute a number of benefits to optimism, including:

Having greater purpose	Increased coping skills	Increased productivity
More satisfying relationships	Reduced frustration & worry	Decreased stress
More vibrant health	Improved problem-solving	Enhanced self-esteem

EXERCISE:

Consider taking the 15-minute Learned Optimism Test, adapted from Dr. Martin Seligman’s book, Learned Optimism, as a step toward your own more rewarding life.

Friday Review Time

Posted on August 5, 2016 by Barry

FRIDAY REVIEW: TIME

What are your beliefs and practices relative to time? Here are a few time-related posts you may have missed. Click on the link to read the full message.

“It wasn’t a waste of time if you learned something.”

“If time were to take on human form, would she be your task master or freedom fighter?”

“There are people whose clocks stop at a certain point in their lives.”

what is possible

Posted on August 4, 2016 by Barry

“What is possible for you is dictated by your hunger, not your history.”

-Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

Image from playbuzz.com

A few weeks ago, I had an engaging breakfast meeting with a friend who is applying for a new, high profile position. He expects to be vying for this job with a good number of other people.

Through our discussion and inquiry, we fueled the flame of his hunger for this position. He was clear that, based on his history and experience, he was highly qualified for the role. He also saw this position as the role of a lifetime, and that attaining it was his professional destiny.

EXERCISE:

How likely do you think it is that the interviewers will sense his genuine hunger and passion for the position and put him at or near the top of the list?

Where can you use your own insatiable hunger – not just your history – to achieve your deeply held desires?

actions speak louder

Posted on August 3, 2016 by Barry

“Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.”

-Mark Twain, pen name of American Writer Samuel Longhorne Clemens

image from activerain.com

Who do you trust the most in your personal and professional lives?

Please name a few people, then examine the basis you have for instilling this level of trust in them. How often do these individuals walk their talk? Do they consistently do what they say they will do?

Who in your world do you distrust? Again, name some names to add greater clarity to this exercise. How often do these individuals exhibit the adage, “Talk is Cheap”? How often do they over-promise and under-deliver?

Who within your personal or professional communities would place you on the first list rather than the second?

EXERCISE:

Consider taking my 10-minute Trust-o-Meter Assessment to examine the degree of trust you inspire in your friends, family, and colleagues.

Even a Monster

Posted on August 2, 2016 by Barry

“Even a monster backs off when one feeds it lovingly.”

-Laurent Carrel, Messages from Melanie

image from Photobucket by Seldric

Over 40 years ago, I worked my way through school as a “Deli Man” at a popular restaurant in Philadelphia called Jacks. I earned a whopping $36 for my 12-hour, Saturday night shift.

Saturday was the busiest day of the week, since many customers were purchasing ingredients for the traditional Sunday brunches held in the neighborhood.

One day, I noticed that all the other Deli Men had taken their 30-minute breaks just as a particular customer came to the counter. They left me with the woman they called “The Deli Monster,” because she was never satisfied and complained about everything.

Somewhere along the line, I had heard someone say “kill them with kindness,” so I determined to meet and exceed her every desire. She practically adopted me, and I became her favorite Deli Man for the rest of my time at the restaurant!

EXERCISE:

Who are some of the monsters that terrorize your personal and professional worlds?
Where would a kinder, more loving approach do the trick and have them back off as well as become a friend or ally?

Reclaim Our Life

Posted on August 1, 2016 by Barry

“We must reclaim our life agenda once more.”

-Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

Image from Flickr by Roland Urbanek

One of the most fundamental elements of people leading full and satisfying lives is autonomy, or as some might say, the ability to guide and direct our own lives.

For many, the ability to chart our own life course has been taken over, or at least overshadowed, by the professional and personal communities within which we operate.
One simple self-test to see if this is true for you is to examine how often your inner voice says, “I don’t want to…” when you are asked to do something.

EXERCISE:

How and in what small or big ways can you reclaim your own life agenda, to lead a fuller, more satisfying life?

Friday Review: Challenges

Posted on July 29, 2016 by Barry

FRIDAY REVIEW: Challenges

What challenges do you face, and how are you dealing with them? Here are a few challenge-related posts you may have missed. Click on the link to read the full post.

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.”

“Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.”

“The greatest challenge you face will probably not be the technical side of your job (your expertise), but rather interacting with other people.”

sources of strength

Posted on July 28, 2016 by Barry

“Migrating birds return to where they hatched. Familiar places are sources of strength to which you can return home.”

-Laurent Carrel, author of Messages from Melanie

Image from www.hotel-r.net

My family and I will be heading to the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania soon, for our annual vacation. I’ve gone there almost every summer of my life. My dad was the Director of two summer camps, I got to spend all summer long there from my infancy until I was twelve.
The camps eventually closed, but my wife and I bought a time share in the Poconos when I was 24 years old. The familiar sight of the tree-covered mountains, the music of the crickets at night, and even the smell of the rain-washed air always makes me feel at home.

EXERCISE:

Feel free to reply to this post regarding those special places in your world that give you strength and make you feel at home.

When are you planning to return?