#97: “It has been my observation that people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

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– Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States

Could it be that simple? Can we just make the choice to be happy?

We have all heard stories of people with great beauty, talent, and financial wealth who are miserable. We are also aware of entire societies where people have very limited worldly possessions, yet live joyful lives.

What’s the secret? Can we actually be the architects of our own happy lives?

Abraham Lincoln refers to the word “mind” as the source. Today, there’s the entire field of positive psychology to explore this in great detail.

Exercise:

Consider purchasing a copy of Martin Seligman’s book Authentic Happiness or Tal Ben-Shahar’s book Happier, and make up your own mind.

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#96: “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out…”

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“… It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

– Albert Schweitzer, humanitarian

Have you ever noticed how life has lots of ups and downs? We experience the glories of victory – and the agonies of defeat.

We have heard the life phrase “this too shall pass.” We eventually find our footing from our low points – and are brought down to earth from the peaks of life’s mountains.

This quote is about the special people in our lives that bring out our very best and ignite the fullest possibilities of living.

Exercise:

Who are the advisors, mentors, coaches, family members and friends that provide you with this spark?

Have you thanked them lately?

Where could you help rekindle the fires of others?

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#95: “Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it…”

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“…without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”

– Gilda Radner, actress

I never knew Gilda Radner in any other way than in her comedic role on Saturday Night Live. I do remember how devastated Gene Wilder, her husband, was upon her passing.

There is now a wonderful organization, Gilda’s Club, named after her. It aims to help individuals and their families make the most of the challenges of cancer and similar diseases.

Perhaps her life was a form of improv when she took each moment and each situation and made the best of it. After her death, people were inspired to make the best of even that situation – by setting up Gilda’s Club.

Exercise:

How can you play and dance with the ambiguities of life and make more of your moments delicious?

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#94: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

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– William Shakespeare, playwright

Our ability as humans to interpret the world around us is remarkable. Consider your thoughts about the following pairs of words:

  • life – death
  • win – lose
  • big – small
  • happy – sad
  • right – wrong
  • power – force
  • full – empty
  • leadership – management
  • optimism – pessimism
  • young – old
  • growth – decline
  • success – failure
  • strong – weak
  • natural – artificial

Exercise:

Is there a fundamental “goodness” or “evil” in anything?

How does your thinking about the world and others help you or limit you? How could you expand or shift your thinking to lead a far more fulfilling life?

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#93: “The ultimate test of a man’s conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today…”

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“The ultimate test of a man’s conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.”

—Gaylord Nelson, co-founder of Earth Day

Image from Unsplash by Jason Buscema

I once saw a behavioral experiment, conducted with small children around the age of three or four years old. The experiment involved marshmallows. The child could have a single marshmallow immediately, or they could wait five minutes longer and be rewarded with two marshmallows.

Some of the children simply gobbled the one immediately. However, the children who were able to delay their gratification seemed far happier with their accomplishment.

Exercise:

What sacrifices are you willing to make today to help yourself and others have a far better future — even if you may never receive thanks or the rewards directly?

What would you like your legacy to be?

Examine the contents, not the bottle

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“Examine the contents, not the bottle.”

—The Talmud, the central text of mainstream Judaism

Image of dusty wine bottles

Photo by Marco Mornati on Unsplash

We all know the adages, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and “Discover the beauty within.”

It is so much easier, though, to use first impressions to make quick decisions – and rarely do we ever get the full story. When this happens in our interactions with other people, we refer to these as shallow or superficial relationships.

Only when we look deeper can we fully grasp the full value and the potential that lies within others.

Exercise:

How would taking the time to examine the contents of another person’s character lead you to a more fulfilling life?

With whom in your worlds have you only scratched the surface?

The bad news is time flies

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“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”

– Michael Altshuler, motivational speaker

Image of a Pilot in front of his plane

Photo by Kora Xian on Unsplash

I recently attended a coaching conference where a speaker, Jim Selman, shared his work on the topic of aging. I was surprised to see just how significant and universal the subject was for the majority of conference participants – including myself.

What does it mean to age well? What has many of us pursue the fountain of youth, through everything from plastic surgery to the next wonder drug?

How can we transform our views on aging, to impact our lives in the areas of health, happiness, self-expression, meaningful relationships, and the overall desire for purpose?

Exercise:

How will you pilot your life, given your answer to the question above, to make the most of the precious time that you have?

#90: “Creativity involves breaking out of established patterns in order to look at things in a different way.”

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– Edward de Bono, doctor and author

Years ago, I read A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink. The premise of this book was based on the importance and value of right-brain/non-linear thinking. Pink pointed to some of the critical limiting factors related to left-brain or linear thinking: the value of this type of thinking has been decreased due to the advent of technology.

Exercise:

How much of your day do you spend on right-brain versus left-brain activities?

How can you break some of your established patterns and look at your world differently, to develop your creative mind?

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#89: “To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.”

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– Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher

What does it mean to live a good hour? It could mean:

  • Being fully present to each person and fully engaged in each experience.
  • Living in the moment, not dwelling on the past or daydreaming solely of the future.
  • Living a life of meaning and purpose beyond your own concerns.
  • Being generous and sharing your special gifts and resources with others.
  • Learning and growing in some way each day, and sharing your knowledge and life experiences with others.

Exercise:

What does living a good hour include for you?

What next step will you take to move toward greater wisdom?

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#88: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’”

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– Martin Luther King, Junior, Civil Rights leader

Coaches love questions. Digging for the answer provides great satisfaction. This one is a doozy. Martin Luther King Junior is considered by many one of the most inspirational leaders, and he spent his life with a dream. He put in a massive effort to serve others. He walked his talk.

Exercise:

What is your current answer to the question, “What are you doing for others?” What would you like your answer to be at the end of the day – and perhaps the end of your days?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.