Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.

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“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

—Helen Keller, 20th Century American author, disability rights advocate, political activist

Image from Anazon

Life is very different from traditional schooling in that it gives us the test first and then we (hopefully) learn the lesson.

What character-building experiences and trials has life presented you over the past year?

How has your soul been strengthened?

Where have your ambitions been inspired, leading you toward new levels of achievement and success?

EXERCISE:

Please pick up a copy of The Road to Character by David Brooks to challenge yourself to re-balance the scales between the focus on external success (“resume virtues”) and your core principles.

“All people are beautiful, and the difference between us is so much less than the sameness.”

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“All people are beautiful, and the difference between us is so much less than the sameness.”

—Berry Gordie, Jr., Founder of the Motown record label

Image from Unsplash by Oren Atias

The passing of my father Marvin in March has been a catalyst for many changes in my life. On a recent trip to Florida, Wendy and I had the opportunity to thank some very close friends who supported Dad while we needed to keep our distance.

Over a wonderful three-hour dinner that included wine toasts and delicious food, we celebrated this wonderful man and the beauty of the wonderful people who were there when they were most needed.

As a record producer and the founder of Motown records, Berry Gordy clearly has been a force, wanting us all to “get it together” and “be there” for one another.

EXERCISE:

Where have you been focused on the ugliness and differences between people over the past year? Where have you discovered the beauty in others by connecting and appreciating our sameness?

“Has the most important thing changed? Am I chasing an outdated target?

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“Has the most important thing changed? Am I chasing an outdated target?”

—James Clear, author, entrepreneur, and photographer

Image from Unsplash by Ross Findon

Today’s quote contains two closed-ended questions. Did you answer yes or no to either or both?

Let’s change them a bit to make them open-ended….

What important things in your life have changed in the past year?
Where are you chasing a goal or target that is no longer relevant or essential?

EXERCISE:

Explore both the open and closed-ended approaches with a friend, family member, mentor, or coach.

Please let me know what new insights and actions result from this inquiry.

“Works, not Words.”

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“Works, not Words.”

—Seneca, ancient Roman Stoic philosopher

Image from BBC radio

Talk is cheap.
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
After all is said and done, more is said than done.

What other cliches do you know that make a similar point?

How about alternative phrases such as:

Put up or shut up.
Actions speak louder than words.
Do something about it.
What is your body of work?
Take a massive baby step.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you embrace Seneca’s three words and turn them into works today?

“Many of life’s treasures remain hidden because we never search for them.”

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“Many of life’s treasures remain hidden because we never search for them.”

—Andy Andrews, The Noticer

Image from Unsplash by Marten Newhall

Looking again and again at your everyday life is an interesting exercise. How much has it changed over the past year? Where has it gotten worse, stayed about the same, or improved? Where are you discovering lumps of coal, or finding diamonds?

Searching more carefully and deeply for the hidden treasures beyond our current outer and inner horizons is accessible to everyone. With the many challenges facing us over the past fifteen months, some have actually transformed their lives.

Just as an able sailor heads out to sea rather than remaining in the harbors of the past or perceived safety, we can all benefit from venturing beyond our current view of things.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can and will you lead your own search party to discover even more of the hidden treasures life has to offer?

“When making choices in life, combine cognitive, emotional, spiritual, intuitive, and social intelligence.”

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“When making choices in life, combine cognitive, emotional, spiritual, intuitive, and social intelligence.”

—Bill Burnett & Dave Evans, in Designing Your Life

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Henry

When you examine your humanness, what do you notice? Look again at your first answer and keep digging through your crust, your mantle, your outer core, and your inner core.

Where have you only glimpsed the precious resources within? Where are there new sources of heat, pressure, and magnetism within, waiting to be captured or released?

How would you rate yourself in relationship to your IQ and EQ? Instead of the old paradigms of intelligence, let’s simply determine our capacity to live better by embracing all aspects described in today’s quote.

EXERCISE:

Examine a few of the significant choices you have made this past year. How can the further development of your head, heart, and gut intelligence support you in making even wiser choices today and in the future?

“To belittle is to be little.”

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“To belittle is to be little.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Amazon

In her important book, Caste: The Origins of our Discontents, Isabel Wilkerson looks at the concept of the caste system and how it influences and shapes our lives and our nation.

Through vivid and specific examples and tragic stories from Nazi Germany, India, slavery, and the persecution of indigenous people in America, she brings light to the insidious undertow of caste and how it is experienced in both small and dramatic ways each day.

EXERCISE:

Where and how do you observe the belittling of others in your various communities? What words can you speak and what actions will you take to do far more be-bigging?

Consider reading this Oprah’s Book Club pick, and explore its importance and urgency with your family, friends, and colleagues.

“Broad ideas influence more people. Specific ideas influence people more.”

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“Broad ideas influence more people. Specific ideas influence people more.”

—James Clear, author, entrepreneur, and photographer

Image from Unsplash by Mark Fletcher-Brown

On any give weekday it is possible for thousands of people to be influenced by this blog via email, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

For the past ten years I have attempted to share daily nuggets of wisdom to influence many people with thought-provoking and/or motivational quotes, a coaching commentary, and an exercise to dig deeper and apply these ideas.

With many of us overwhelmed by far too much information from far too many sources, my efforts to have people invest five to ten minutes per week are not always successful.

During the same five days, four to six individuals invest an hour to engage me in a variety of specific ideas and approaches through one-on-one coaching, to impact and enhance aspects of their personal or professional lives.

EXERCISE:

What impact are you attempting to have with people in your various communities?

Where are specific — rather than broad — ideas the way to go to have the level of influence you intend?