Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“If you mess up, fess up.”

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“If you mess up, fess up.”

—Kevin Kelly, founding executive editor of Wired magazine

Image from Unsplash by Sarah Killian

It Takes Two to Tango.

Take a moment to look at the health and work-ability of your closest and most important relationships.

Examine how things are going with your spouse, partner, children, siblings, and friends. How about your connections with colleagues, customers, and others at work?

Virtually all of my coaching clients place communications and improving relationships at or near the very top of their most important and urgent priorities. Among the tips and techniques offered in countless books, workshops, and seminars is the good old-fashioned sincere apology.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom have you stepped on a toe or two recently?

What role and what level of responsibility do you have in what is and isn’t working?

Where would fessing up to a mess you made or helped create make the biggest difference?

When will you take the necessary action to clean things up?

Please reply to this post and let me know how things go.

Friday Review: Smiling

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FRIDAY REVIEW: SMILING

How might you add more smiles to your face, and the faces of those around you? Here are a few smile-related posts you may have missed.

 

“If you see someone without a smile today, give them one of yours.”

 

 

 

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”

 

 

 

 

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

 

 

 

 

“What are you here to teach me?”

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“What are you here to teach me?”

—Milarepa, 10th Century Buddhist Saint and Teacher

Image from Unsplash by NCI

Thousands of years ago man often looked to the stars and to nature for the wisdom and insight to answer pressing problems.

Looking to the gods or some outside source for reasoning and solutions seemed natural since these external forces seemed so large and powerful.

Today, we often look within ourselves and compare our own answers to others. This can create an Us/Them dynamic, which misses the idea that the totality of the relationship we have within our personal and professional communities have bigger and often better answers to guide us.

Marita Fridjhon, co-owner and CEO of CRR Global, calls this concept The Relationship System. Learn about her work at www.CRRGlobal.com.

EXERCISE:

What are the relationship systems in our world trying to teach us?

What may be the lessons we need to learn from COVID-19, racism, and climate change? What do other relationships systems closer to home – such as work and family – have to teach us?

“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.”

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“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.”

—Aeschylus, Ancient Greek Tragedian

Image of Garry Marshall from wikipedia

What do the TV shows Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, and Mork & Mindy have in common with the films Pretty Woman, Beaches, and The Princess Diaries? They were all directed by the same man.

Garry Marshall never wanted to change the world; he only wanted to entertain the world. Based on his prolific body of work, he succeeded big time.

In the documentary The Happy Days of Garry Marshall, dozens of A-list television and film celebrities shared their happiest of days working with and alongside this kind, authentic, creative, and perhaps most of all, funny genius.

His work always demonstrated a celebration of the funny and real aspects of life that had us all relate and connect.

EXERCISE:

What choices and efforts can and will you make today to make it a happier day?

“Let each man exercise the art he knows.”

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“Let each man exercise the art he knows.”

—Aristophanes, Ancient Greek Comic Playwright

The other day my wife and I were discussing a free app she has been using on her phone for over a year. Called Happy Color, it is a paint-by-color app with thousands of intricate designs and scenes to be completed.

When she completes an artistic effort, she often forwards it to friends and family or simply displays it in one of many digital albums.

A wonderful bonus of this artistic expression are the benefits her beautiful efforts have on her physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

EXERCISE:

What are some ways that you, too, express and exercise your own artistic talents?

How do your efforts benefit yourself and others in your personal and professional communities?

Please feel free to hit reply to this post and let me know about the art you exercise.

“We do not appreciate inertia’s power over us.”

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“We do not appreciate inertia’s power over us.”

—Marshall Goldsmith, American leadership coach and author

Image from Unsplash by The Creative Exchange

Inertia is the tendency to do nothing or remain unchanged. With the social distancing, stay-at-home guidelines and other efforts to fight COVID-19, our world and our lives slowed down considerably.

What does a typical day look like for you?

Consider your vocational efforts, eating habits, sleep schedule, and level of exercise as places to look. Where in these and other important areas of life have you progressed, stayed about the same, or let the power of inertia have its way with you?

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can and will you break free of this force so that you can soar even higher and farther?

Friday Review: Initiative

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FRIDAY REVIEW: INITIATIVE

How do you determine what needs to be done? Here are a few initiative-related posts you may have missed.

 

 

“All man’s gains are the fruit of venturing.”

 

 

 

“Initiative is to success what a lighted match is to a candle.”

 

 

 

 

“The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. And the first to forget is the happiest.”

 

 

 

 

“Revolutions are ideal times for soldiers with a lot of wit – and the courage to act.”

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“Revolutions are ideal times for soldiers with a lot of wit – and the courage to act.”

Napoleon Bonaparte, 18th Century French Emperor and Military Leader

Image from Unsplash by Jessica Felicio

I recently saw a video keynote speech by David Burkus on the topic of how great teams find a purpose around which to rally.

In addition to using excellent examples of well-known organizations to make his points, he also used a few historical samples of powerful revolutions that galvanized communities, countries, and the world.

He suggests that we can all dig deeper than the core values or mission statements hanging in organization headquarters or above executive desks to discover our sacred values worth fighting for.

We are all allies in the sacred crusade to fight the Covid-19 pandemic, and combat racism around the world.

EXERCISE:

Where and how are you and others soldiers in your various communities bringing your wit and courage to act in these fights? How can and will you rally even more allies in these efforts?

“Be your own compass.”

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“Be your own compass.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by AbsolutVision

To what degree have you felt lost over the past several months?

Where did you once have clarity in your life, and to what extent do things now seem to be foggy?

Now is the time to be your own compass, to verify your “True North” and set forth with more confidence and commitment.

What are the values, beliefs, and priorities that generate the magnetic field within you, keeping you on course regardless of small or mountainous issues along the way?

EXERCISE:

How do you know when you are on the right path?

What personal or professional adjustments will you make today to better follow your own inner compass?

“Don’t wait for inspiration.”

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“Don’t wait for inspiration.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Alex Sheldon

Waking up this morning, I was not particularly inspired to leap out of my warm, cozy bed to meditate, take my daily walk, or for that matter, begin writing today’s Quotable Coach post.

I did all those things anyway.

Consider counting the times in the past week that you felt the urge to take on a particular task or activity.

Take this little test: On a one-to-ten scale, rate each of the activities on this list as “inspirational”:

  • Making your bed
  • Daily hygiene efforts
  • Preparing (hopefully healthy) meals
  • Household chores such as laundry
  • Mowing the lawn & other yard work
  • Paying bills
  • Daily exercise
  • Going to work

Given your responses, is it a wonder we ever get out of bed at all?

If you have children and ask them to help with some of those activities – or simply to do their homework and clean their rooms – what responses do you get? What seems to mobilize us to action is our commitments and not our comfort.

EXERCISE:

How might a shift from “I have to” to an “I get to” perspective help you achieve a more inspired life?