Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

Peak experiences are fun, but you always have to come back

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“Peak experiences are fun, but you always have to come back. Learning to appreciate the ordinary moments is the key to a fulfilling life.”

—Cory Muscara, former monk, mindfulness advisor, and University of Pennsylvania instructor

Image from Unsplash by DocuSign

A coaching colleague of mine is a world traveler, currently on their fourth six-month cruise around the world with their spouse.

Their adventures are captured in a daily blog recounting the people, places, and things they experience with beautiful photos and very detailed reflections.

Over the years, I too have had a good number of adventures that were measured in weeks. Although I remember them fondly, I tend to get homesick for the life I’ve created within my current communities.

A recent highlight was spending a full day alone with my 19-month-old granddaughter, to our mutual delight.

EXERCISE:

What peak experiences do your recall with great fondness?

How many have you had?

What are some of the many precious ordinary moments you experience daily that don’t require leaving home at all?

Vulnerability is a source of so many wonderful aspects of life

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Vulnerability is a source of so many wonderful aspects of life. You must, however, let go to receive them.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Dmitry Berdnyk

It’s counterintuitive that in order to receive what we want and need, we must let go of things we have. After all, if we hold on tightly to things, we get to keep what we have indefinitely.

What if we desire love, acceptance, adventure, and the feeling of belonging to our various communities?

What must we let go of to receive these very human desires?

What’s at risk when we desire the rewards of a full and happy life?

EXERCISE:

Where and how do you avoid the risks of being vulnerable?

How do you protect yourself from the bumps and bruises life can dish out?

Consider exploring the books and other works of Brene Brown to discover insights you may not have considered.

Friday Review Obstacles

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Friday Review: Obstacles

What do you do when faced with obstacles? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“There are plenty of obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.”

 

 

 

 

“When the path is blocked, back up and see more of the way.”

 

 

“Your excuses will never be as good as the story of how you got it done.”

 

 

 

 

When the outside world is loud, be quiet inside

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“When the outside world is loud, be quiet inside.”

—Niklas Goke, writer/blogger

Image from Unsplash by chairulfajar

For as long as I can remember, I’ve avoided loud noises.

I rarely seek out or attend big gatherings such as sporting events, concerts, or other  crowded venues. Big cities, airports, and driving in traffic are definitely not for me.

With this awareness in mind, one of my favorite possessions is a set of noise cancellation head phones with those squishy ear buds.

I use them every day to meditate and listen to calming sounds of nature to relax and calm my inner world.

EXERCISE:

How loud is the world around you?

What strategies do you employ to lower the volume to discover greater peace and quiet within?

Aim higher in case you fall short

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“Aim higher in case you fall short.”

—Suzanne Collins, author of The Hunger Games

Image from Unsplash by Ricardo Arch

I bet you learned a lot about gravity well before you studied the work of Isaac Newton in school.

The world of sports — especially the ones with balls — all taught us to aim higher than our intended target if we wanted to hit the mark.

What are some of the ways you direct your aim higher than your targets knowing well that there are various forces pulling you down?

What personal and professional games are you playing where both internal and external factors get in the way to trip you up or block your path?

EXERCISE:

Where do you need to aim higher and shoot for the moon?

Even if you miss, you might just land among the stars.

Most people can talk without listening

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“Most people can talk without listening. Very few can listen without talking.”

—Bruce Lee, Hong Kong and American martial artist, actor, philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

It’s easy to look at today’s quote and nod our heads in agreement.

I bet you can think of dozens of people in your personal and professional communities that fit this idea to a tee.

Perhaps you are evolved enough to know that when you point a finger at others there are three fingers in you palm pointing right back at you.

What makes listening to others so difficult?

What gets in the way that we neglect to give others our undivided attention? Perhaps it may have something to do with the fact that we are always talking.

Although words may not be coming from our mouth, we always seem to make our inner voices our top priority.

EXERCISE:

How often do you get annoyed when two people or more are talking at the same time?

Given that one of these people is always you, how could you pause to fully honor what others have to say?

Greet yourself each day with care and a friendly hello

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Greet yourself each day with care and a friendly hello. A kind smile does wonders even when it comes from yourself.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Shaurya Sagar

How do you start your days?

Who are the first people you see when you wake up and head out the door? Perhaps you are a mom or dad with a baby who wakes you early for a feeding.

Maybe it’s your spouse or significant other using the facilities or hogging the early morning covers.

Perhaps it’s a neighbor you see, out for an early morning walk with their dog.

Before everyone else, consider the person looking back at you in the mirror as you wash your face and shine those pearly whites. What type of greeting do you offer yourself as your day begins?

EXERCISE:

How would an extra moment of kindness and a friendly smile from and toward yourself be a wonderful way to begin your day?

Friday Review: Apologies

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Friday Review: Apologies

How willing are you to apologize? How well do you accept apologies? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

 

 

 

 

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”

 

 

 

Who in your life deserves a sincere apology and a shift in your behavior?

 

 

 

If you run out of kind words for yourself stop talking

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“If you run out of kind words for yourself stop talking.”

—Niklas Goke, Author of The Four Minute Millionaire

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Henry

We’ve all heard the phrase If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.

This concept has served me well over the years when it pertained to other people. It works well — except when eye rolls and our body language betray us.

Turning this idea on ourselves is bit more difficult. It seems impossible to stop our inner critics and an external speaker isn’t necessary to deliver the bad news.

EXERCISE:

How often do you catch yourself talking to yourself?

How kind or critical are you during these inner dialogues?

What positive triggers can you put in place to send a little more kindness your way?

Do my expectations match the level of effort I’m giving

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“Do my expectations match the level of effort I’m giving?”

—Shane Parrish, Founder of the Farnam Street website

Image from Unsplash by Product School

What are your thoughts about the statement You get what you expect?  How do your own personal and professional results align with your expectations?

I am all about the power of positivity when and only when our efforts are consistent with our thinking.

In my observations and in lots of social science studies there seems to be a strong correlation between the harder we work, and the luckier we get.

EXERCISE:

How and where is it necessary to up your level of effort to match the expectations you have for yourself?

Where would raising your expectations and your level of effort be in order?