Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

There are very few things as fulfilling as a conversation with another soul

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There are very few things as fulfilling as a conversation with another soul.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Aarón Blanco Tejedor

When was the last time you had a soulful conversation? Who was it with? What did you discuss? What was your experience of time and your level of engagement?

If you are like many people, you experience primarily surface conversations that appear like glancing blows with most people.

We are so busy running from here to there looking at our schedules for what’s next that we have habituated a “sound bite” life.

EXERCISE:

Set up a block of time with at least one person this week for a soulful conversation.

Keep things open-ended and fluid, with limited distractions.

Consider including, coffee, tea or even a homemade meal to add to your mutual enjoyment.

Feel free to let me know how things go.

Friday Review: Character

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Friday Review: Character

What is your definition of character? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“The story of each stone leads back to a mountain.”

 

 

 

 

“It is the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.”

 

 

 

“Faced with crisis, the man of character falls back on himself.”

 

 

Man arrives as a novice at each age of his life

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“Man arrives as a novice at each age of his life.”

—Nicolas Chamfort, 16th Century French writer

Image from Unsplash by Jelled Vanooteghem

Watching our grandchildren grow provides us with much joy and many valuable lessons.

Babies are perhaps the best example of being a novice. Grasping, crawling, making sounds, and those all-important first steps are excellent examples of new worlds emerging for our little ones.

As we age, being a novice and unable to do certain things can be very frustrating.

Our awareness of setbacks and stumbles can cause us to give up too soon and not push through our difficulties.  Where are the feelings of being a novice keeping you from taking some important first steps in your life?

EXERCISE:

How can you more fully embrace a beginner’s mindset and appreciate your novice status on your journey toward greater personal mastery and excellence?

A thoughtful gift is a manifestation of love

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“When it comes to gifts, it’s hard to overstate the value of thoughtfulness. A thoughtful gift is a manifestation of love.”

—Stephen St. Amant, artist and writer

Image from Unsplash by Hamish Duncan

I have been reading Stephen St. Amant’s daily Savenwood blog for over three years. It amazes me how he consistently comes up with thought provoking and engaging posts seven days a week.

I’ve reached out to him numerous times over the years to acknowledge his efforts and we even had a couple of zoom calls to get to know one another better. He is indeed a very thoughtful man whose daily gifts contribute greatly to those of us who look forward to his many nuggets of wisdom and insight.

EXERCISE:

I encourage you to check out and subscribe to Stephen’s blog and other creative works at savenwood.com.

Contemplation often makes life miserable

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“Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live.”

—Nicolas Chamfort, 16th Century French writer

Image from Unsplash by Lucas Vasquez

Ed Kotch was the mayor of New York City from 1978 to 1989. In his efforts to be a good mayor and serve the city well, he would often ask How am I doing? to gain feedback and enhance his efforts.

How often do you evaluate your own efforts and contemplate how you are doing? Where are you judging yourself and making comparisons to others to see how you stack up? Where is this habit causing you misery?

EXERCISE:

How would taking yourself out from under your microscope of judgement free you up to simply act more and think less about your life?

How would assuming that you are doing just fine at being who you are help you be far happier and satisfied with your life?

“Distractions! Let them come. Let them be. Let them go.”

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“Distractions! Let them come. Let them be. Let them go.”

—Culadasa, former director of the Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sangha

Image from Unsplash by Nubelson Fernandes

How many people and things are competing for your attention each day?

How many are welcome, and how many divert you from your desired paths?

Where and how do you have control — or at least significant influence — on what enters your direct and peripheral attention?

Imagine you were a healthcare professional in an emergency department, caring for people who showed up at the door. How would you triage individuals with critical needs versus those with only minor difficulties?

In each case, determining who gets immediate care and admitted to the hospital and who gets sent home is what’s important.

EXERCISE:

How do you triage the distractions that enter your world?

How would your own mental and physical health benefit from a more clearly defined method to do this?

Friday Review: Effort

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Friday Review: Effort

Where do you put in the most effort in your personal and professional lives? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Don’t forget how badly you once wanted what you have now.”

 

 

 

“Nobody notices what you do until you do not do it.”

 

 

 

“Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not.”

 

 

 

We’re sliding into undirected negative change, and what’s worse, we’re getting used to it

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“We’re sliding into undirected negative change, and what’s worse, we’re getting used to it.”

—Octavia E. Butler, late American science fiction author

“misinformation on the web” from Unsplash, by @visuals

What news outlets do you watch? To what degree do they operate from the premise of if it bleeds it leads? What local, state, national, and global issues garner the majority of your attention, and which ones are of lesser importance?

When we examine the levels of negativity these days, it seems disturbingly true that it takes more and more to raise our eyebrows and even more for us to step forward and turn things around.

EXERCISE:

Where is the current slide into negativity totally unacceptable?

How can and will you constructively direct your voice and your efforts toward the positive changes you desire?

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

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“So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

—Jorge Luis Borges, 20th Century Argentine essayist, poet and translator

Image from Unsplash by Markus Spike

Today’s quote reminds me of Stephen Covey’s habit of being proactive. These days, it has become increasingly easy to have things come our way with little effort. With the click of a few buttons on our phones we can order a meal, get a ride, and have virtually anything delivered in minutes or days.

The caveat here is that we still need to do a bit of searching and actively click a button or two for our flowers to arrive.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world are you waiting for things to happen with little or no effort on your part? Where would proactively planting your own garden and decorating your soul add more beauty and abundance to your life?

I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars

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“I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars.”

—Walt Whitman, 19th Century American poet, essayist and journalist

Image from Unsplash by Chang Qing

As part of my health and fitness efforts I take a daily shot of wheat grass juice each morning. Although some people might describe this practice as drinking a lawn, I’ve learned to appreciate its fresh scent and unique flavor.

As a superfood touted by many, I’ve learned that this plant is made of the stuff of stars. About 70% of this plant is chlorophyll. If you add in vitamin C, vitamin A, vitamin E, amino acids, and a host of other phytonutrients, you get a veritable chemistry set of elements supporting your life.

EXERCISE:

Examine the eating habits of the world’s largest land animals. When you think of elephants, giraffes, rhinos, it is clear that plants do a body good. How might you incorporate more plants in your diet to live a healthier, star-studded life?