Tag Archives: Barry Demp

“Leave a little behind.”

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“Leave a little behind.”

—Dr. Cornel West, philosopher and academic

Image from Unsplash by Elaine Casap

Over the Thanksgiving and holiday season, it is common to bring a dish to share if you are invited to someone’s home. This custom of sharing our food is practiced in many cultures and provides for greater connection and community.

Leaving a little bit of the dish with the host is customary, if it’s not all consumed over the course of the meal.

Exercise:

In what other areas of life is the idea of “leaving a little behind” not only an act of generosity but a way of creating a small legacy for those you care for and serve?

Please consider replying to me with any thoughts you may have on the subject.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal

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“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the only one who gets burned.”

– Buddhaghosa, fifth century commentator on Buddha’s work

Image of hot coals

Image from Unsplash by Magnus S

No one in their right mind would ever pick up a hot coal to throw it at someone. In an instant, they would be raced off to the emergency room for treatment, and a very protracted recovery period. Most likely they would also bear considerable scars that would remain for years or perhaps for life.

Exercise:

Take note of the times when you observe the destructive force of anger today.

How can you minimize it, release it, or better yet, replace it with understanding, tolerance and forgiveness, to make for a more peaceful, accepting and loving world?

Life lived for tomorrow

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“Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized.”

– Leo Buscaglia, author and motivational speaker

Image from Unsplash by Ben White

Anticipation, expectation and the promise of a better tomorrow are powerful forces that can mobilize us to call forth our most committed efforts.

On the other hand, consider happiness, joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction. These emotions are primarily experienced in the moment and not in the future.

Far too many people lose sight of what is just in front of their noses because they are gazing off over the horizons of life.

Exercise:

Regardless of whether you are near-sighted, far-sighted or have perfect vision, how will you take the time to look all around today, to experience the fullest expression of each and every moment?

The greatest mistake you can make

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“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.”

– Elbert Hubbard, writer, artist and philosopher

In the assessment process I undertake prior to each coaching agreement, I pay particular attention to the challenges and obstacles that may be limiting my client’s success.

We do identify many external factors that aren’t always in their control, yet it is surprising to discover the numerous internal barriers that limit their success and overall life satisfaction. Among these internal obstacles is the often crippling fear of making a mistake and failing, which often prevents them from even trying something new.

Exercise:

Where (specifically) are you stopped by the fear of making a mistake or failing? Find a coach, friend, family member, or mentor to help you summon the courage to work through these fears.

Sometimes, it is helpful to use the acronym “FEAR” which stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” Feel free to reply to me with your insights and the actions you plan to take.

in-focus picture in my head

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 “I never hit a shot – not even in practice – without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head.”

– Jack Nicklaus, American professional golfer

Jack NicklausImage from Flickr by hankinsphoto.com

Jack Nicklaus is considered by many the best golfer of all time. His accomplishments are far too many to describe here. Today’s quote is great coaching for all of us looking to achieve mastery and excellence in any area.

The power of a clear and compelling vision for some future event, even if it is a golf shot, is fundamental to mobilizing our thoughts and actions to make it so. Nicklaus and most people of great achievement seem to have a razor-sharp consistent and persistent ability to concentrate and focus on the prize.

Exercise:

Revisit the pivot point / self-coaching exercise first described here:

www.thequotablecoach.com/effort-2/it-is-common-sense-to-take-a-method-and-try-it-if-it-fails-admit-it-frankly-and-try-another-but-above-all-try-something

Use it to clearly determine your current reality, envision a sharp and focused future, and then, like Nicklaus, take the shot toward your goal.

Don’t be surprised if you hit your mark more often than ever before.

As your consciousness expands

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“As your consciousness expands, your level of expectation will grow. Keep asking yourself, am I selling myself short? Most of us are.”

—John R. Spannuth, President/CEO of the USA Water Fitness Association

Image from www.mattcromwell.com

The coaching process usually helps people delve into new areas of perception, reconsidering their views of reality and what is possible. This expanded consciousness can either increase our courage to pursue new possibilities or generate fear which can make us stop, or even run in the opposite direction.

Exercise:

In what areas of your life are you selling yourself short due to fear?

How can you summon the courage of your expanded consciousness to foster and realize new possibilities in your professional and personal life?

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action toward your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

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“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action toward your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

—Dr. Steve Maraboli, behavioral scientist and author

Image from Amazon

Today’s quote packs quite a punch. It is actually eight bite-sized pieces of coaching stuck together. Take a moment to separate each of these nuggets of wisdom and see how well you are doing in each area by rating yourself on a 1 – 10 scale.

Exercise:

Select at least one of these areas you wish to enhance today and in the coming weeks, and identify a specific action or two that will take you to the next level.

Feel free to choose a second, third, etc.

If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself

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“If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself.”

– Albert Einstein, theoretical physicist

image of Einstein with children

Image from Encyclopedia Britannica

In the world of physics, perhaps no-one is more famous than Albert Einstein. He is best known for the formula E = mc2 where E =energy, m stands for mass and c represents the speed of light.

There is genius in simplicity, in that it brings ideas and insight into our lives. Compare programming your first VCR with the simplicity of many of our plug-and-play devices today.

Exercise:

Look up the term “Occam’s Razor” and explore how making things in your life simpler is a road toward unleashing your own genius and creating a more user-friendly, workable world.

“Habit is the daily battle-ground of character.”

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“Habit is the daily battleground of character.”

—Dan Coats, 20th Century American politician and diplomat

Image from Unsplash by Prophsee Journals

I agree with the quote above, and disagree with it at the same time.

Let’s start where I disagree. Many of us engage in a variety of not-so-wonderful habits that would be called “character flaws” by many. These habits include eating junk food, not exercising, and spending money we don’t have, leaving us in debt.

On the other hand, the good and noble habits that demonstrate character often occur initially as a battle-ground, due to the need to go outside our comfort zones.

Most people of high character would suggest that the rewards of these habits are well worth it – and over time they become far less of a struggle to maintain.

Exercise:

Choose one of your current undesirable habits and promise yourself (and those around you) that you will replace it with one that demonstrates your highest character.

If you would like additional help with this and other habits you may wish to develop, consider purchasing and implementing the strategies in the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg:  charlesduhigg.com/the-power-of-habit

one corner of the universe

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“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”

– Aldous Huxley, author

Photo by John Sting on Unsplash

Those of you who have been reading The Quotable Coach for some time may know that in my first career 30 years ago I was a science teacher. Two subjects I found most fascinating were astronomy and physics.

Entropy (“the degree of disorder and randomness of a system”) is constantly at work expanding the universe and bringing disorder to our world. Fortunately, as Huxley suggests, we can use our own energies to counter this disorder and design the world as we desire.

Exercise:

How will you use your energy today to improve your corner of the universe?

How can you combine your energies with others to make even larger improvements in your world?