Tag Archives: Barry Demp

Be who you are

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“Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

– Dr. Seuss, children’s author

Be authentic. Or, as Shakespeare said it, “To thine own self be true.”

But what if people don’t like us, or even reject us? There has never been a person who  pleased everyone. The best we can do is to please first ourselves and then those in our lives who truly matter.

Stop being a chameleon, constantly trying to change in order to please those around you. In fact, it is the natural human state of things to become more of who you truly are.

Exercise:

Determine what you value, what really makes you tick and your fundamental beliefs – and shout them from the rooftops. The people who matter will pick up your signal, and those who don’t were never really tuned in the first place.

“You cannot dream yourself into a character…”

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“You cannot dream yourself into a character, you must hammer and forge yourself into one.”

– James Anthony Froude, English historian

QC #1021a

Image from Flickr by Hans Splinter

We sometimes hope for a quick-fix that will resolve our problems, and dream of how our future lives would look.  If only we could find that magic bullet!

Dreaming is important, as is having a vision. But neither comes to pass without the work it takes to realize our dreams.

The great leaders and people of our time had dreams and shared their visions. To realize those visions, though, they all worked hard, and put in tremendous effort over many years. These people of character have the bumps, bruises and calluses to show for it.

Here is a secret: Find something of extraordinary value and meaning in your life. Pursue something you truly love to do, and you will enjoy the process.

Exercise:

What do you envision and dream about that would be worth a lifetime of hard labor?

It isn’t the Mountain

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“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out. It’s the pebble in your shoe.”

– Muhammad Ali, boxer and philanthropist

image of Muhammad Ali

Image from New York Post

We all sometimes sweat the small stuff. We often make mountains of molehills, magnifying issues of little or no importance into giant obstacles and barriers.

How can you keep the small things small, or even find a shrink ray to turn mountains into molehills?

How can you bring a greater perspective to the world around you, so you don’t major in the minors of life?

Exercise:

What issues are you blowing out of proportion right now?

What do you need to think and do in order to shrink these down to size?

The Stream Always Wins

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“In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins – not through strength, but through persistence.”

– Buddha, founder of Buddhism

In my early school years, most teachers would have described me as an average to good student with a bit of an attention problem. But in the eighth grade, and continuing through high school, I found a magic quality that I have used throughout my life. It’s been a key to my many successes.

I realized, through standardized testing such as the Iowa test and SATs, that I scored in the average to good range. Yet in the actual world of achievement, I could simply outwork others to achieve what I wanted.

Exercise:

Where can you apply the power of persistence to outwork others and achieve your goals?

You can’t help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself.

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“You can’t help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself.”

– H. Norman Schwarzkopf, US Army General

Image of a team of mountain climbers

Image from Unsplash by Diogo Tavares

When I was a young boy, my mother would always tell my sister to take me with her. I liked being with the big kids, and I really liked feeling included.

Today, I focus much of my life on helping others grow both professional and personally. Through this process, I’ve had the great fortune of meeting many wonderful people, and have gained much satisfaction through my efforts. I also found that I too got “closer to the top” in the priority areas of my own life.

Exercise:

Where could you advise, mentor, or coach others in your life?

How can you expect to benefit through your generosity and care?

grow with ease

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“Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.”

– J. Willard Marriott, entrepreneur and businessman

Image fro Flickr by Breezy Luik

Image fro Flickr by Breezy Luik

I go to the gym in the morning to help stay fit. It cleans out my mental and physical cobwebs and gets my day off to an energized start.

A key component of my fitness journey is to push myself in areas of strength, cardiovascular fitness, and flexibility. When we push the limits a bit beyond our comfort, we come back the next day stronger and more capable.

The personal growth and development efforts that make the biggest difference are the ones which test and challenge our “timber.”

Exercise

Where in your personal and professional life can you lean into the wind and find yourself better off through the process?

 

help people realize their value

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“As human beings, our job is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has – or ever will have – something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”

– Fred Rogers, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood

When my children were very young, Mister Rogers was a show we often skipped in favor of the Rugrats or Sesame Street. I regret that I rarely watched an episode – if only I knew he had so much to say.

What parent doesn’t want their children to help and encourage others, to discover their own unique abilities, and to make a contribution to the world?

Maybe I should look for the reruns or at least bring the wisdom of this quote to my daily life.

Exercise:

What actions will you take by bringing a little Mister Rogers into your heart and home?

 

“A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart and set out to accomplish it.”

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“A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart and set out to accomplish it.”

– James Allen, philosopher and writer

Life purpose, making a difference, and living a meaningful life are fundamental to happiness.

How can you find your purpose and life direction? How will you know when you are heading the right way, and when you’re getting close to arriving?

Exercise:

List your top 20 – 30 core values.

Cut this list in half, and then in half again, to get to the real core.

Next, create a life vision statement, using all of the final list and perhaps most of the second list of values. Wordsmith this vision until you feel it is 100% you.

Now use your vision statement as the context to inspire your actions in every area of your life: it can help you become happier and more fulfilled.

When I let go of what I am

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“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

– Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism

We all love to be right, to have the correct answer, to know the truth. We think we will then find clarity, stability, and even peace of mind. But what if in being “right” about ourselves we have defined ourselves into a safe and limited box?

Defining something limits it. Perhaps, instead, we could distinguish ourselves and open up the possibility of who we could be.

Exercise:

How and in what ways can you rediscover yourself, by releasing yourself from self-limiting beliefs?

If you find this difficult, ask a family member or a close friend for their perspective.

Our doubts are traitors

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“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”

—William Shakespeare, playwright

image from www.huffingtonpost.ca

I had a hard time reading Shakespeare in high school – I just didn’t fully get it. Maybe it was my impatience or perhaps I can blame my English teacher!

For me, this quote is about how fear stops just about all of us in our tracks. Perhaps if we really, really focus on the good we wish to do, then we will find that secret life lever that will have us try, leap, and attempt, in spite of this fear.

Exercise:

Where is fear keeping you from the good you might do?

Where can you find the courage to overcome this fear and make the attempt?