Tag Archives: Demp Coaching

How things should be

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“Reality is the other person’s idea of how things should be.”

—John M. Shanahan, author of Hooked on Phonics

image from consciouslifenews.com

image from consciouslifenews.com

As part of my Personal Excellence Training, I teach my clients to coach themselves, with a technique I call The Pivot Point. The first part of this tool is to help my clients assess the “current reality” of the situations in their lives.

The challenge for most, at the beginning, is that they often believe that their perception of reality is shared by everyone around them.

EXERCISE:

How open are you to the possibility that the people in your personal and professional worlds perceive “reality” quite differently than you?

measure your life

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“How will you measure your life?”

—Clayton M. Christensen, Harvard Business Professor

Image of Book "How will you measure your life?"

Today’s quote stopped me in my tracks and caused me to sit down to examine its profundity. I then watched Mr. Christensen’s TEDx Boston talk from 2012, to see what this Harvard Professor had to say.

This is a question we must all answer for ourselves, based on many factors. I looked at the personal and professional achievements that measured me against others, and more importantly, against myself. My conclusion here was that personal development and growth have always been measuring sticks for me. What became more of a priority for me was the measure of family, and the development of close, collaborative relationships. In this area, contribution and making a difference in people’s lives was paramount.

When Clayton stated, in his talk, that God does not employ accountants and statisticians, I wondered what I’d like people to say upon my passing. This caused me to set about my efforts far more intentionally, so that I might fulfill my purpose.

EXERCISE:

Explore setting up a discussion group within your personal and professional communities to ask and answer this question for yourself.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, and what you discovered.

Friday Review Preparation

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FRIDAY REVIEW:  Preparation

How well do you prepare in your personal or professional worlds? Here are a few preparation-related posts you may have missed. Click on the link to read the full message.

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“I will prepare and someday, my chance will come.”

 

 

 

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“Life is like playing the violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.”

 

 

 

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“You can’t reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.”

 

 

 

 

finite number of heartbeats

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“I believe every human being has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine.”

—Neil Armstrong, American Astronaut; First person to walk on the moon

Image of Neil Armstrong

Image from pics-about-space.com

As a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. The idea of great adventure, testing oneself, and having “the right stuff” was right up my alley.

A highlight of this dream was to watch Neil Armstrong take his first step on the moon in 1969, going where no man had gone before (I stole that line from Star Trek!).

For me, Armstrong set a strong example of using each and every heartbeat to accomplish something extraordinary. He continued to contribute in many ways until he passed away in 2012, at the age of 82.

EXERCISE:

What important and energizing personal and professional goals are you working on or plan to begin? Make sure they pass the “get your heart pumping” test.

watchdog of the wise

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“Now is the watchdog of the wise.”

—Charles H. Spurgeon, 19th Century British Preacher

Image of a bulldog

Image from Flickr by Emmanuel Tabard

Take a few minutes to picture a very wise individual. This may be someone you know, an historic figure, a spiritual leader, or perhaps you will conjure someone in your imagination.

Notice the qualities and characteristics you most appreciate and admire, that caused you to place them on your “short list” of special individuals.

Of particular note is the ability of these people to be fully present in the “now” of life, instead of taking daily journeys into the past or future. Such people are often characterized as being happy, content, peaceful, serene, alert, aware, authentic, and open.

EXERCISE:

Consider checking out two books I recommend on this subject:
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo

the potency of praise

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“There is no verbal vitamin more potent than praise.”

—Dr. Frederick B. Harris, Neurosurgeon

imge of a "praise pill" in a hand

How high of a priority is your health?

What are your daily habits related to exercise, nutrition, and your overall well-being? Do you eat any of the super-foods identified in my post titled You Are What You Eat? How about your use of supplements and a multivitamin to keep all things working optimally?

When it comes to quality relationships and supporting others in pursuing and being their very best, praise packs a potent level of empowerment.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would it be most deserved, or make the biggest difference, to offer far more praise and acknowledgement of others in your worlds?

Also see this post from a few weeks ago.

Defining a Friend

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“A friend is a person before whom I may think aloud.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, 19th Century American Essayist

Image of fingers with faces painted on

Image from www.lesaviezvous.net

How many true friends do you have?

I recently had a coaching session with a new client. He expressed a sense of emptiness due to a lack of true friends in his life, the surface nature of many of his relationships, and the significant lack of depth in his professional and personal discussions.

He also noted the need for greater courage and vulnerability, should he choose to open himself up and chance the risk of being judged.

EXERCISE:

Examine your own risk/reward ratio of thinking aloud more often, to develop and expand the friendships that can enhance your life.

Quotes on Patience

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FRIDAY REVIEW:  Patience

How patient are you on an average day? Here are a few patience-related posts you may have missed. Click on the link to read the full message.

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“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

 

 

 

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“Patience is also a form of action.”

 

 

 

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“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”

 

 

 

 

 

A committee of one gets things done

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“A committee of one gets things done.”

—Joe Ryan, Author of Breaking Limits

Image from picturequotes.com

Much of my coaching involves supporting my clients in developing and expanding their leadership, management, coaching, and relationship skills. Mastering these skills helps them produce far greater results with and through others.

One consideration is the time it actually takes to reach their goals.

Today’s quote points to the speed and efficiency of leading oneself to a better future, managing our own efforts and resources, and adjusting our course for optimal results. Regarding relationship skills, rarely do we ever disagree with our own thinking!

EXERCISE:

There is an African saying, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Where and on what personal or professional priority is it appropriate to use your “committee of one” to get something done?

The Future is Purchased by the Present

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“The future is purchased by the present.”

—Dr. Samuel Johnson, 18th Century English Poet

Image of hourglass

Image from specialneedsparenting.net

Evidence has shown that there is a high correlation between an individual’s ability to delay gratification, and their long-term level of achievement.

All one need do is examine masters in almost any endeavor to see the level of effort and amount of time it took for them to achieve what they desired. Some traded large pieces of their lives for a potential pot of gold at the end of the line. This can often be the case when people work tirelessly in vocations and careers they don’t enjoy.

Those who are attuned to their vision and value often find the courage to take bold actions. Their efforts in pursuing their dream becomes like compound interest on the daily investments they make.

EXERCISE:

How can you lead an even more fulfilling life by having your present professional and personal efforts be their own reward, and not just a means to a future you hope for some day?