“If you blame it on someone else, don’t expect it to get better.”
Blaming and making others wrong is like a black hole in the world of relationships. Nothing good ever comes out of it.
Unfortunately, we each view the world through our own perceptual filters. On many occasions, our views do not agree or align with others. This is not bad in itself, except that we often go a step further to prove our point or to undermine those who think and do otherwise.
How and in what ways can you reduce or eliminate playing the blame game, personally or professionally, to improve your life?
Imagine losing your sight for 24 hours. Perhaps you had a surgical procedure and were required to wear blinders to protect those sensitive windows into the world.
What would that be like? What would be the impact on your other senses? Perhaps most interestingly, what would you observe and appreciate even more when you removed the blinders?
Although this is an extreme example, consider that fact that we all wear blinders or at least perceptual lenses by which we view the world. Some are particularly dark and negative, doing a number on our happiness and overall life satisfaction.
Take off your blinders or at least your perceptual sunglasses today and look deeper and completely at the people and things around you.
Feel free to reply to this post to share what new, brighter, and surprisingly different things you observe.
“Invite people into your life who don’t look or act like you. You might find they challenge your assumptions and make you grow.”
-Mellody Hobson, Chair of the Board of Directors of DreamWorks Animation
About a month ago, my wife Wendy surprised me with a 60th birthday trip to Australia and New Zealand. During our three week trip, I had the opportunity to expand my world view and perspective by meeting dozens of people from other countries.
Among these interesting individuals were a kiwi farmer from New Zealand, an Academy-Award Winning sound designer who worked on the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and a Naturalist about to start working with a non-profit in Hawaii.
How can you arrange – sooner rather than later – a “Bucket List” adventure so you can invite more new and interesting people into your life?
In the book The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz warns us that more is less, and that our abundance-based culture often robs us of our satisfaction in life.
Imagine yourself in a room with a few dozen doors. You are told that some will lead to great opportunities, others to places far less desirable, maybe even dead ends.
All too often, we are looking outside ourselves to what others or society tells us are the best choices. And yet, we are frequently dissatisfied, because by comparison there is always something better⏤or at least we think so.
How might you use your most deeply held values and beliefs to design and open the doors you are meant to open? Your destiny hinges on it.
“Reality is the other person’s idea of how things should be.”
—John M. Shanahan, author of Hooked on Phonics
image from consciouslifenews.com
As part of my Personal Excellence Training, I teach my clients to coach themselves, with a technique I call The Pivot Point. The first part of this tool is to help my clients assess the “current reality” of the situations in their lives.
The challenge for most, at the beginning, is that they often believe that their perception of reality is shared by everyone around them.
How open are you to the possibility that the people in your personal and professional worlds perceive “reality” quite differently than you?
-Gautama Buddha, on whose teaching Buddhism was founded
image from kevingcook.com
When people say, “perception is reality,” they often mean that the way we perceive something makes it real. What if we don’t perceive an issue, challenge, or lesson to be learned, simply because it is invisible to us?
As a student, we must first see a situation and determine that there is value, opportunity, or benefit in it. Only then is there the potential to hear the teacher and see how they might assist us in understanding the lesson.
Where are you stopped or stuck in your life? Where are your efforts to move forward being thwarted? To whom could you go with the challenge you face, to determine your readiness and receptivity to the lesson?