actions speak louder

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“Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.”

-Mark Twain, pen name of American Writer Samuel Longhorne Clemens

Image from activrain.com

image from activerain.com

Who do you trust the most in your personal and professional lives?

Please name a few people, then examine the basis you have for instilling this level of trust in them. How often do these individuals walk their talk? Do they consistently do what they say they will do?

Who in your world do you distrust? Again, name some names to add greater clarity to this exercise. How often do these individuals exhibit the adage, “Talk is Cheap”?  How often do they over-promise and under-deliver?

Who within your personal or professional communities would place you on the first list rather than the second?

EXERCISE:

Consider taking my 10-minute Trust-o-Meter Assessment to examine the degree of trust you inspire in your friends, family, and colleagues.

Even a Monster

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“Even a monster backs off when one feeds it lovingly.”

-Laurent Carrel, Messages from Melanie

image from Photobucket by Seldric

image from Photobucket by Seldric

Over 40 years ago, I worked my way through school as a “Deli Man” at a popular restaurant in Philadelphia called Jacks. I earned a whopping $36 for my 12-hour, Saturday night shift.

Saturday was the busiest day of the week, since many customers were purchasing ingredients for the traditional Sunday brunches held in the neighborhood.

One day, I noticed that all the other Deli Men had taken their 30-minute breaks just as a particular customer came to the counter. They left me with the woman they called “The Deli Monster,” because she was never satisfied and complained about everything.

Somewhere along the line, I had heard someone say “kill them with kindness,” so I determined to meet and exceed her every desire. She practically adopted me, and I became her favorite Deli Man for the rest of my time at the restaurant!

EXERCISE:

Who are some of the monsters that terrorize your personal and professional worlds?
Where would a kinder, more loving approach do the trick and have them back off as well as become a friend or ally?

Reclaim Our Life

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“We must reclaim our life agenda once more.”

-Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

QC #0186

Image from Flickr by Roland Urbanek

One of the most fundamental elements of people leading full and satisfying lives is autonomy, or as some might say, the ability to guide and direct our own lives.

For many, the ability to chart our own life course has been taken over, or at least overshadowed, by the professional and personal communities within which we operate.
One simple self-test to see if this is true for you is to examine how often your inner voice says, “I don’t want to…” when you are asked to do something.

EXERCISE:

How and in what small or big ways can you reclaim your own life agenda, to lead a fuller, more satisfying life?

Friday Review: Challenges

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FRIDAY REVIEW: Challenges

What challenges do you face, and how are you dealing with them? Here are a few challenge-related posts you may have missed. Click on the link to read the full post.

 

QC #1085a

 

“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.”

 

 

QC #1085b

 

“Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.”

 

 

 

QC #1085c

“The greatest challenge you face will probably not be the technical side of your job (your expertise), but rather interacting with other people.”

 

 

 

 

sources of strength

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“Migrating birds return to where they hatched. Familiar places are sources of strength to which you can return home.”

-Laurent Carrel, author of Messages from Melanie

Image from www.hotel-r.net

Image from www.hotel-r.net

My family and I will be heading to the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania soon, for our annual vacation. I’ve gone there almost every summer of my life. My dad was the Director of two summer camps, I got to spend all summer long there from my infancy until I was twelve.
The camps eventually closed, but my wife and I bought a time share in the Poconos when I was 24 years old. The familiar sight of the tree-covered mountains, the music of the crickets at night, and even the smell of the rain-washed air always makes me feel at home.

EXERCISE:

Feel free to reply to this post regarding those special places in your world that give you strength and make you feel at home.

When are you planning to return?

perfection

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“You don’t need to create a masterpiece every day. You need to get some oil on the canvas every day.”

—Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

image of art paper with three color bars

Image from craftsy.com

Do you have young children? Are you a grandparent? Do you have little ones as part of your world on a daily basis? If so, consider their artistic efforts with crayons, markers, and paints. Recall a time when their masterpieces took a prominent spot on your walls or refrigerator. Their efforts were cherished and celebrated for whatever images made it on those canvases.

Unfortunately, as adults we often become judge and jury for our own efforts and those of others, making excellence or perfection the only worthy goal.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can you more fully appreciate and recognize your efforts, and those of others, to get some oil on the canvas every day?

pointing at himself

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“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that three of his fingers are pointing at himself.”

—Author Unknown

Image of a man pointing one finger with three fingers pointing at himself

Image from idgconnect.com

There sure is a lot of finger pointing going on these days! Pick almost any hot topic in the news and you will see people on all sides taking dead aim at one another.

Blaming others, finding fault, and making others wrong seems wired into us in spite of the fact that we are all highly aware of its consequences.

EXERCISE:

Knowing that three fingers are always pointing back at us when we point at others, how can you take far more responsibility, accountability, and ownership regarding the events in every aspect of your life?

live love matter

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“At the end of our lives we will all ask, ‘Did I Live? Did I Love? Did I Matter?’”

—Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author

Thinking business woman looking up on many bubbles with question marks on a grey background

Image from careerconfidential.com

Don’t wait a second more!

Ask these questions immediately. Don’t stop asking them until you discover the answer and do something about it, if your answer is not to your liking.

Take some time to deeply explore what it truly means to live, to love, and to matter.

Consider taking a look at the people you respect and admire, who could set an example for you to follow. Start spending more time with these people and let their expansive efforts, living, and loving soak right into your bones.

EXERCISE:

As you continue to live more fully a life with no regrets, how can you help others you care deeply about do the same?

Initiative Assessment

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“All man’s gains are the fruit of venturing.”

—Herodotus, 5th Century BCE Greek Historian

Image from Flickr by Lynn Friedman

Image from Flickr by Lynn Friedman

As part of my Personal Excellence Coaching program, I often conduct assessments which includes a review of the client’s achievement traits. Among the most important is that of initiative, in which the individual evaluates what needs to be done and ventures forth without being prodded by others to do so.

Beginning new things, solving challenging problems, and pursuing a new goal sure beats waiting and wishing for things to come our way.

EXERCISE:

Where would an “if it is to be it begins with me” approach have you venturing forth in new ways, to gain more of the sweet fruits of life?