“We all want to say yes…”

Posted on November 14, 2014 by Barry

“We all want to say yes, because with yes comes so much opportunity, but with power of no comes focus and engagement.”
—Jared Leto, American actor, singer, songwriter, and director.

Today’s quote immediately brought to mind William Ury’s 2007 book, The Power of the Positive No.

Ury is a renowned negotiator, mediator, and Harvard professor who saw the need to stop some of the madness of the limitless choices in our high stress world. He promotes the concept of a “positive NO” to make room for what really counts – our own needs, values, and priorities.

EXERCISE:

How will the power of the positive NO provide you the level of focus and engagement you need to bring about the YESES for your most important opportunities?

“All things are difficult before they are easy.”

Posted on November 13, 2014 by Barry

“All things are difficult before they are easy.”

—Thomas Fuller, 17th Century English churchman and historian

Photo from Flickr By City Gypsy II

Take a moment to examine all the things you do with ease, every day. Walking. Talking. Turning a page. Reading a paragraph. Most of these activities are so effortless you don’t even pay attention to what goes into making them happen.

Imagine for a moment you had a time machine, and could go back to the point in your infant life where these activities were difficult. Now go forward a bit – how long did it take to move from difficulty to competency, and then to mastery?

EXERCISE:

What professional or personal goal do you find difficult at this moment? Begin the journey today, and at some point in the future, this goal will be part of your list of successes.

Feel free to reply to this message with the goal you selected.

“You can only lose what you cling to.”

Posted on November 12, 2014 by Barry

“You can only lose what you cling to.”
— Health Magazine published by Dr. Burke’s Sanitarium, of Sonoma County, California December 1905

Photo from Flickr by Mary Anne Enriquez

Are there people in your life you would describe as “clingy”?

Perhaps they hold on tightly, invade your personal space, have an overly strong attachment or dependency, to you or another, or resist letting go of the past.

What response does their “clinginess” elicit from others?

Today’s quote implies that the more we cling to something, the more likely we are to lose it – whether that something is an inanimate object, or another person.

EXERCISE:

How might loosening your grip on the things you value lead to a more abundant life?

“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.”

Posted on November 11, 2014 by Barry

“Feedback is the breakfast of champions.”

—Authors Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson

Photo from Flickr by General Mills

My dad coached a number of sports teams as part of his role as a physical education teacher. When I was a boy, I sometimes had breakfast with him before his games. The only thing he would eat on game days was Wheaties — the “Breakfast of Champions.” Call it however you want it, his team almost always won.

I wanted to be a champion like my dad, so I dove into those cereal bowls with great gusto!

EXERCISE:

Who are the mentors, advisers, and coaches that are committed to your success? How can you fully ingest their feedback to achieve your own personal or professional championships?

“People participate in that which they create.”

Posted on November 10, 2014 by Barry

“People participate in that which they create.”
—Barry Demp

Photo from Flickr by dalioPhoto

I’ll wager that anyone in a management or leadership position for any length of time has had the experience of bringing a new policy or program to life and finding that, despite their own enthusiasm, the rest of the team or the family are either ambivalent or outright resistant to the change.

One of the most powerful ways for business or family leaders to exact commitment from the team or family members on any project is to draw them into the plan from the start— to make it a “we” rather than “me” endeavor.

When those whose lives are impacted in some way are drawn into the development process, when they know that their insights and concerns are welcome and necessary, they participate with a sense of ownership. This is true whether they are motivated by something they want, or something they don’t want.

EXERCISE:

Consider one aspect of your professional or personal life in which you have made decisions that affect those in your department or family. How might their participation in the decision have made a difference in the outcome?

“Life is mostly froth and bubble…”

Posted on November 7, 2014 by Barry

“Life is mostly froth and bubble, two things stand like stone. Kindness in another’s trouble, courage in your own.”

—Adam Lindsay Gordon, 19th century Australian poet, jockey and politician

Photo from Flickr by Ross Elliott

We all know the phrase, “Don’t sweat the small stuff…” In today’s quote, Gordon equates the small stuff with “froth and bubble,” making clear that the small stuff has little or no substance.

But what about the important stuff – the things that require our full attention and commitment?

Gordon is clear in this: be there for others when they are in need, and summon the courage to live our lives to the fullest.

Exercise:

Examine your own life for areas of “froth and bubble,” and choose instead to strengthen the two foundation stones of kindness and courage.

“I have always tried to make room for anything that wanted to come to me from within.”

Posted on November 6, 2014 by Barry

“I have always tried to make room for anything that wanted to come to me from within.”

—Dr. Carl Gustav Jung, Founder of analytical psychology

Photo from Flickr by Harturg HKD

Among his many contributions to the fields of psychiatry and psychotherapy were Jung’s works on extroversion, introversion, archetypes, and the collective unconscious.

We often find ourselves operating in an adrenaline-rich environment, with the volume turned up full blast. Jung suggests that we create and use an internal “Mute Button” to take a quiet or even silent journey of self-reflection and personal discovery.

EXERCISE:

Take at least five minutes today to sit in silence. Explore your inner world. Notice how thoughts, feelings, and images bubble up and fade away. What nuggets of wisdom come through?

Consider picking up a copy of one of my favorite books, Quiet (2012), by Susan Cain, to discover the power of introverts in “a world that can’t stop talking.”

“Be so good they can’t ignore you.”

Posted on November 5, 2014 by Barry

“Be so good they can’t ignore you.”
-Steve Martin, American actor and comedian

Photo from Flickr by Vipez

A common coaching assignment in the business world is to assist a client in earning a promotion. This effort has many facets, including performance measurement, relationship issues, and a bit of office politics.

EXERCISE:

Imagine your job as an Olympic event, and that you must mobilize all your effort and activity to be your personal best to earn the gold medal.

Determine exactly what behaviors and result you and others expect that constitute this remarkable level of accomplishment.

Consider reading the book “Linchpin” by Seth Godin (2010) to increase your indispensability.

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

Posted on November 4, 2014 by Barry

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

—Maya Angelou, African-American author, poet, dancer, actress and singer.

Photo from Flickr by Kinl Straf

Have you ever visited Niagara Falls on a sunny day? If so, I guarantee you saw a rainbow, due to the combination of sunlight and the mist that rises from the falls and acts as a thousand prisms of light.

Clouds, too, are collections of water vapor that often block the light and cast a shadow on whatever is beneath them.

As we enter the fall and winter months, some people experience a condition known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which diminishes their energy and life satisfaction, due to a lack of sunlight.

EXERCISE:

How can you shine your own internal light through the clouds of those around you, to create more rainbows and greater possibilities – and help yourself and others live a more vibrant, colorful life?

“The trouble is you think you have time.”

Posted on November 3, 2014 by Barry

“The trouble is you think you have time.”

-Author Unknown

Photo from Flickr by Moyan Brenn

It is a proven fact that as we age, we perceive time as moving faster.

In our youth, there was plenty of time to complete everything on our bucket list. Today, that list may seem unrealistic, overwhelming, and even act a source of discouragement or sadness.

If someone told you precisely how much time you had left in days, weeks, months, years, or hopefully, decades, what different choices might you make as you spend your life currency?

EXERCISE:

How can you begin today to live even more fully and authentically to squeeze all the juice possible from the precious time given to you? Who do you want to accompany you on this wonderful, yet finite journey?