FRIDAY REVIEW: RESPONSIBILITY
How willingly do you take on responsibility? Here are three responsibility-related posts you may have missed.
“I have an existential map. It has ‘you are here’ written all over it.”
Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching
“You own an army if you know how to win people’s trust and support.”
“You own an army if you know how to win people’s trust and support.”
—Author Unknown
Image from Amazon.com
Social capitalism and masterful networking are cornerstone skills of many successful people. Take a moment to examine the variety of people who have trusted and supported your personal and professional efforts up to this point in your life.
In his book, Achieving Success Through Social Capital, Dr. Wayne Baker documents the fundamentally understood concept that relationships are valuable not just qualitatively, but also quantifiably. When others help us, we tend to reciprocate by making efforts to help them.
With this giving and supportive perspective in mind, we can all build and foster our own armies to support our personal and professional objectives. We can also act as foot soldiers in the armies of our supporters.
EXERCISE:
Consider checking out Wayne Baker’s book, or email me and I will send you a PDF copy of my Masterful Networking Workbook, which can be read in 15-20 minutes.
“You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.”
“You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.”
—J.S. Knox, Associate Professor of Sociology, Liberty University
Image from Unsplash by Josh Calabrese
Have you ever participated in a team building session with your professional colleagues? One of the goals of such exercises is to gain a greater understanding of each other, and to provide constructive input toward one another’s leadership styles and effectiveness.
The assessment I use for team building sessions categorizes individuals into one of four potential styles, depending on the situation. The four styles are:
- The Team Leader, who focuses on both people and results
- The Taskmaster, who focuses solely on results
- The Social Worker, who focuses solely on people
- The Benchsitter, who focuses on neither
EXERCISE:
How would you—or better yet, your associates—describe your leadership style? How might you and your colleagues—maybe even your family members—rate each other as it relates to being an influencer versus an antagonist?
“There’s something in everybody that longs for that awakening to be more true to yourself.”
“There’s something in everybody that longs for that awakening to be more true to yourself.”
—Eckhart Tolle, Canadian spiritual teacher
Image from Unsplash by Alex Mares
Imagine you are about to take four separate road trips in your car:
The first is to your neighborhood shopping center.
The second is to a new part of town you have yet to visit.
The third is in a foreign country with a foreign language and road signs that are not in English.
Finally, you dare to take a road trip in a country where you need to drive on the opposite side of the road.
How alert would you be on each of these journeys? How awake would you need to be to arrive safely?
EXERCISE:
How can and will you journey far more deeply into your true self and awaken more fully to what awaits you there?
“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”
“Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.”
—Nido Qubein, President of High Point University
Image from Unsplash by Branden Collum
In one or two sentences, please describe your present circumstances in the following areas:
- Your health
- Your relationships at home
- Your relationships at work
- Your personal finances
- Your level of happiness
- Your emotional well-being
Feel free to add a few more priority categories that come to mind. Based on your description, which of these areas would you rate as Poor, OK, Good, Great, or Outstanding?
EXERCISE:
Select the one area in which you most wish to progress. Note that your current circumstances are simply the place where you will begin. Consider developing an action plan for the next week or month that will take you toward your desired objectives.
Feel free to send me a copy of your plan and I will be happy to look it over.
Friday Review: Silence
FRIDAY REVIEW: SILENCE
How often do you experience regular periods of silence? Here are three silence-related posts you may have missed.
“A smart person knows what to say. A wise person knows whether or not to say it.”
“Fools live to regret their words, wise men to regret their silence.”
“Speak your truth even if your voice shakes.”
“I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.”
“I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.”
—Eartha Kitt, 20th Century American singer, actress, dancer
Image from Barry Demp Coaching
Have you ever done a values clarification exercise? You know – the ones that ask you deep, probing questions such as:
At the end of your life, what would you like people to say about you?
Beyond the usual thoughts of family and making a difference in the lives of others, I would include being a student, a teacher, and of course, a coach, supporting the growth and development of others.
EXERCISE:
How important is the process of learning in your life?
What current and future developmental efforts and contributions will you have shared with others when you move on from this world?
“Sometimes it’s not strength but gentleness that cracks the hardest shells.”
“Sometimes it’s not strength but gentleness that cracks the hardest shells.”
—Richard Paul Evans, contemporary American author
Barry and Wendy with Weston
As a relatively new grandpa, I find it fascinating to watch my daughter, son-in-law, and wife interact with little Weston.
Although he is a very good-natured, happy little boy, he does get cranky, fussy, and a bit difficult to manage from time to time.
On most occasions, the trick that works is gently singing one or more of his favorite songs. Within seconds he calms down and begins to smile.
EXERCISE:
Where and with whom in your personal or professional life would a bit more gentleness crack some hard shells? What specific steps can and will you take to open others up to your influence?
“If you can’t be a pencil to write anyone’s happiness, then try to be a nice eraser to remove their sadness.”
“If you can’t be a pencil to write anyone’s happiness, then try to be a nice eraser to remove their sadness.”
—Author Unknown
Image from Unsplash by Copper and Wild
When was the last time you tried to cheer someone up? When was the last time your friends and family tried to pencil a bit of happiness into your world?
Although well intentioned, many of these efforts don’t do the trick and can sometimes backfire, leaving others feeling worse. In such cases, perhaps a “less is more” approach can act as an eraser to lighten the burden.
EXERCISE:
Where and with whom could your simple presence, care, and a loving shoulder to lean on be the way to support those experiencing sadness or loss?
“We are the masters of our fate, the captains of our souls, because we have the power to control our thoughts.”
“We are the masters of our fate, the captains of our souls, because we have the power to control our thoughts.”
—Napoleon Hill, 20th Century American author of Think and Grow Rich
Image from Unsplash by Philippe Oursel
Perhaps one of the primary reasons for the rapid growth of the coaching industry is its ability to significantly increase our mindfulness and self-awareness. The phrase “Wherever you go, there you are” is poignant in that we always bring along our minds, which strongly influences and creates our worlds.
The majority of my work with clients focuses on executive leadership and business matters. Nevertheless, I’ve noticed considerable attention shifting to more personal and soulful issues and the idea of living a far more meaningful life.
EXERCISE:
If you, too, wish to dig deeper into being your own soulful captain of life, I strongly recommend the book Toward a Meaningful Life by Simon Jacobson.