Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

He never chooses an opinion, he just wears whatever happens to be in style

Posted on by

“He never chooses an opinion, he just wears whatever happens to be in style.”

—Leo Tolstoy, 19th Century Russian, regarded as one of the greatest authors of all time

Image from Unsplash by Hermes Rivera

Wendy and I recently saw the film AIR — the story of how Nike pursued Michael Jordan to wear their basketball shoes.

One of the companies also competing for this sponsorship opportunity was Converse. At Creighton Elementary in the sixties and early seventies, having a pair of Chuck Taylors was a must. Any alternative sneakers were called Bo-Bo’s and this meant certain school yard ridicule and razzing.

To what degree can you relate to similar types of peer pressure and the need to conform? How does this influence your thoughts, beliefs, and social norms? Where do you find yourself going along to get along?

EXERCISE:

Where and how did you develop your current thinking about life?

How often do you stick with popular opinion and what’s in style?

Where do you feel the tug to go in another direction and still hesitate?

An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day

Posted on by

“An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.”

—Henry David Thoreau, 19th Century naturalist, essayist, poet, and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Arek Adeoye

Taking a walk in the morning is one of my most enjoyable habits. Watching the sun rise, acknowledging my early bird neighbors, and getting a bunch of enthusiastic greeting from the dogs who take their owners for a stroll are some highlights.

Early last week I got an extra special hello from Rosie and Jacque, both Golden-doodles, as they jumped and nuzzled into my arms, awaiting their expected belly rubs. The experience felt like a gift from God.

EXERCISE:

Consider reading or re-reading Thoreau’s classic book, Walden to examine the many blessings he discovered through his two-year immersion into the natural world.

Focus on the shot you are about to take

Posted on by

Focus on the shot you are about to take. The game isn’t over till it’s over.

—Calm App Reflection

My five-year-old grandson’s favorite board game is the Hershey edition of Monopoly Junior. Through his play, he is learning numerous life skills as he moves his favorite chocolate bar character around the board. He particularly enjoys rolling the dice, buying properties, passing Go to collect $2, and landing on Chance spaces to see what they reveal.

With each roll of the dice, he sees opportunities to better his chances of winning. When he is a bit behind, he often prefers the other players let him roll again and again. We are still working on good sportsmanship and taking turns.

EXERCISE:

What games are you currently playing in your personal and professional worlds?

Where are you falling behind and becoming discouraged?

How would greater focus on your next shot — and the next — turn things around?

Friday Review: Balance

Posted on by

Friday Review: Balance

What can and will you do to find and maintain balance in your life? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

Balancing, not balance, is the process of coming back to your center over and over.

 

 

 

“He who will not economize will have to agonize.”

 

 

 

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

 

 

 

 

 

“We learn nothing by being right.”

Posted on by

“We learn nothing by being right.”

—Elizabeth, Princess Bibesco, 20th Century English socialite, actress and writer

Image from Unsplash by Robert Ruggiero

When was the last time you had a discussion in which the phrase “I know” was voiced by yourself or the other person?

How often does this phrase show up during a typical day at work or home?

When you hear these words, consider translating them into “I’ve stopped listening.”

Being right and making others wrong not only damages relationships, it also shuts down the potential of learning anything new.

EXERCISE:

Where would embracing a healthy dose of uncertainty and a more open mind improve your relationships and keep your wheels of wisdom turning?

It’s hard to build momentum if you are divided in your attention

Posted on by

“It’s hard to build momentum if you are divided in your attention.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Nubelson Fernandes

Most people are familiar with the phrase “United we stand, divided we fall.” As we nod in agreement, our thoughts often lean toward communities or teams that need to pull together to achieve a worthy goal.

These days, our attention may also include numerous global issues that require a united front.

Today’s quote offers a shift from the macro to the micro.

It points us inward to our individual worlds and frequent forays in multiple directions that often get us nowhere.

EXERCISE:

Where do you find your attention divided in your personal or professional efforts?

How and where would a more focused approach generate the momentum you need to achieve what you most desire?

Peak experiences are fun, but you always have to come back

Posted on by

“Peak experiences are fun, but you always have to come back. Learning to appreciate the ordinary moments is the key to a fulfilling life.”

—Cory Muscara, former monk, mindfulness advisor, and University of Pennsylvania instructor

Image from Unsplash by DocuSign

A coaching colleague of mine is a world traveler, currently on their fourth six-month cruise around the world with their spouse.

Their adventures are captured in a daily blog recounting the people, places, and things they experience with beautiful photos and very detailed reflections.

Over the years, I too have had a good number of adventures that were measured in weeks. Although I remember them fondly, I tend to get homesick for the life I’ve created within my current communities.

A recent highlight was spending a full day alone with my 19-month-old granddaughter, to our mutual delight.

EXERCISE:

What peak experiences do your recall with great fondness?

How many have you had?

What are some of the many precious ordinary moments you experience daily that don’t require leaving home at all?

Vulnerability is a source of so many wonderful aspects of life

Posted on by

Vulnerability is a source of so many wonderful aspects of life. You must, however, let go to receive them.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Dmitry Berdnyk

It’s counterintuitive that in order to receive what we want and need, we must let go of things we have. After all, if we hold on tightly to things, we get to keep what we have indefinitely.

What if we desire love, acceptance, adventure, and the feeling of belonging to our various communities?

What must we let go of to receive these very human desires?

What’s at risk when we desire the rewards of a full and happy life?

EXERCISE:

Where and how do you avoid the risks of being vulnerable?

How do you protect yourself from the bumps and bruises life can dish out?

Consider exploring the books and other works of Brene Brown to discover insights you may not have considered.

Friday Review Obstacles

Posted on by

Friday Review: Obstacles

What do you do when faced with obstacles? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“There are plenty of obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.”

 

 

 

 

“When the path is blocked, back up and see more of the way.”

 

 

“Your excuses will never be as good as the story of how you got it done.”

 

 

 

 

When the outside world is loud, be quiet inside

Posted on by

“When the outside world is loud, be quiet inside.”

—Niklas Goke, writer/blogger

Image from Unsplash by chairulfajar

For as long as I can remember, I’ve avoided loud noises.

I rarely seek out or attend big gatherings such as sporting events, concerts, or other  crowded venues. Big cities, airports, and driving in traffic are definitely not for me.

With this awareness in mind, one of my favorite possessions is a set of noise cancellation head phones with those squishy ear buds.

I use them every day to meditate and listen to calming sounds of nature to relax and calm my inner world.

EXERCISE:

How loud is the world around you?

What strategies do you employ to lower the volume to discover greater peace and quiet within?